I'm not sure if I should turn this into a story/add to it or just leave it as a one-shot, or even if I'm happy with it. I thought I'd post it and see what you guys think, so let me know if you have a moment. As always, feedback is much appreciated!
Partially based on the short story The Initiate by Veronica Roth and partly on a thread from when I used to role-play Eric that someone suggested I turn into a one-shot. It turned out way longer than I intended, but I hope you like it!
Willow could feel her pulse pounding inside of her head. Her hands were shaking, she'd had to tuck them under her legs in an attempt to hide the tremors from her family. If they knew what she was about to do it would destroy them, but she couldn't think about that now. She couldn't imagine how disappointed her mother would be. Or imagine what rumors would circulate once she was gone. If she allowed herself to consider it all, even for a moment, she could never go through with it. She wouldn't be able to trust the test like she knew she should.
"Willow Sanders"
She felt herself beginning to get light headed, her lungs screaming for oxygen, and she realized that she'd been holding her breath. Her father squeezes her shoulder supportively and she's pulled back to reality. She rises to her feet, smoothing out the flowing yellow skirt that her mother talked her into wearing. She couldn't exactly explain to her that a skirt would make getting onto the train difficult.
Her parents stand to let her pass, each pulling her into a quick embrace as she walks by. She tries to savor the feeling of being in her parent's arms, no matter how briefly it lasts. This will be the last time she hugs them. She finds herself patting her younger sister on the head as she slips past and trying her best to return the smile her older brother sends her way from his seat a few rows away.
She spent most of last night trying to convince herself that she could be happy staying in Amity, like he was. She tried to tell herself that she had friends and a life here, that she didn't need to leave to feel fulfilled, but she knew that it was a lie. She would never be happy if she wasted the rest of her life there tending to crops, and she was going to get a stress ulcer soon from repressing all of her negative remarks and complaints. She wanted to stand up for what was right instead of hiding and refusing to choose a side.
She was on the stage now, she didn't remember walking there, but she must have. She took the knife she was offered and approached the bowls. Her hands still trembling as she cuts her hand. She takes a deep breath, willing herself to calm down as she moves her hand over the Dauntless coals. She forces herself to keep her arm steady, she doesn't want the people of her new faction to think that she's as week as her faction of origin will already lead them to believe.
The sound and stench of her blood burning on the coals assaults her senses, the boom of clapping hands and stomping feet isn't far behind. She's made her choice, going back isn't an option anymore. She has to be Dauntless now, or die trying.
The rest of the ceremony is a blur; a mix of cheering and the gasps of distraught family and friends. Before she realizes what's going on the Dauntless are rising from their seats and heading for the doors.
"Come on, Amity," A black clad woman who can't be more than eighteen orders. "Or have you already given up?"
Her first instinct is to try to explain herself, but that will only make her seem weaker. Willow stands up and pushes past the older woman, "Not a chance." She glances back at her family as she reaches the door. The sight of her mother being comforted by her father and some of the others sitting around them is excruciating. She wants nothing more than to go hug her mother and apologize for hurting her, but that's out of the question so she focuses back on the people in front of her.
She runs with her new faction down the stairs and out the front doors of The Hub. Through the street and to the nearest train station. She doesn't pause at the base of the platform, she starts climbing as soon as she is close enough to grab onto one of the beams. She focuses on the top instead of the growing distance from the ground; just like she did when she climbed the trees in the apple orchard when she was younger. Her heart is pounding in her head again as she reaches the top and watches the train grow from a dot in the distance into a blur of cars rushing past her. She takes off running behind the Dauntless born and flings herself at the car, grabbing the handle so tight that her knuckles turn white and begin to hurt.
She hangs there for a moment, dangling over the gap between the train and platform, her heart pounding unnervingly fast like it always did when made the mistake of looking down from her perch in the tree branches. She snaps back to reality after a few seconds, swinging herself into the car.
It takes her a moment to catch her breath, but she quickly scurries out of the way so that the next person can get on. She finds a place in a back corner that is still relatively empty, giving the Candor girl already sitting there an awkward smile focusing on her feet.
It feels like only a minute or two have passed when someone calls for them to get ready to jump off, but it must have been longer. She makes her way to the group of transfers, watching as a Candor boy and an Erudite girl jump. There is a brief moment of silence before Willow steps up to jump next, if she doesn't go now she knows she won't do it. She can't think about it too much, she just needs to jump. She takes a couple of steps back before running forward and leaping with all of the force she can muster.
She hits the gravel roof with a thud and tumbles forward ungracefully. She looks down at her arms and legs as she stands, not a lot of cuts and scrapes but she is fairly certain she's going to have a couple of nasty bruises in the morning. She makes her way to the other end of the roof where a group has gathered. A middle-aged man hops up onto the ledge; he introduces himself as Max, one of the five leaders of the Dauntless.
"The member's entrance to our complex is several stories down, the only way to reach it is by jumping from this ledge," He informs the new initiates. "If you're really one of us, this won't be a problem. We'll offer this year's initiates the chance to jump before those of us who are already members. Who's going to go first?"
There is a moment of tense silence before a Dauntless-born breaks free from the crowd and climbs onto the ledge. She smiles excitedly back at her friends before turning to face the empty space before her. She lets out a whoop before disappearing over the side.
The rest of the initiates form a line and Willow finds herself only a few people back, between an Erudite boy who is still wearing his lens-less glasses and a Dauntless boy with pink hair. Her turn comes long before she is ready, but she refuses to let this test scare her off. She begins to seriously regret the fact that she is wearing a skirt as she approaches the ledge but there is nothing to be done about it now.
She climbs up onto the ledge, lines herself up with the hole, and jumps. She tries to scream but she is moving so fast that she can't quite get it to come out. Her eyes are shut so it is very startling when her body suddenly stops falling, hitting something fairly soft and being flopped back up into the air for a moment. She opens her eyes when she lands again, finding herself on a large net.
She takes a moment to catch her breath before rolling out of the way so that she won't be crushed by the guy with pink hair when he falls. A man with short brown hair and blue eyes helps her from the net, introducing himself as Four. He asks her name and then announces to the group of onlookers that she is the fifth jumper.
She moves to stand with the other initiates to wait until everyone has jumped. When they are all down, Four and a woman named Lauren approach them. They split the group up, those born here going with Lauren and the transfers with Four. He gives them a quick tour of some of the main common areas of the complex before walking them to their dorm. On the way he points out the training room, where they will need to meet him bright and early in the morning, and also the dining hall where they are supposed to go for dinner after they get changed.
The dorm is a large open room with several beds lining the walls. There is a bathroom at the back, it's very open with only a few spots that offer any privacy. Some of the others seem to be really worried about this, but Amity is big on resource conservation so the idea of public bathrooms isn't all that unusual to her
After a quick reminder that they will need to meet in the training room tomorrow at six, Four lets them go for the night and disappears. There is a large pile of assorted black clothing on one of the beds in the back, they each take enough to change now and clothes for tomorrow. Apparently they will each get an account with points to buy things with tomorrow, so after the finish training for the day they can go buy the other clothes they'll need.
It's oddly comforting to sort through the pile of clothes, it reminds her of trips to the clothing exchange at Amity with her mother. They would donate the clothes that she and her siblings had outgrown and then pick through the clothes that other people had donated to find replacements in their new sizes.
She gets lost in the memory and when she finally finds what she wants the room is nearly empty. She changes as quickly as she can, pulling her long black hair into a bun as she gathers her old clothes. She catches sight of herself in a nearby mirror as she stands back up. She barely recognizes herself in dark clothing, she feels like she looks older all of a sudden.
She dumps her skirt and shirt into the bin with the other transfer's clothes before hurrying to catch up with the other initiates. She winds through the corridors toward the dining hall, thankful that she paid attention when they walked past it earlier. When she walk in she feels like everyone's eyes are on her, like they can tell that she isn't one of them despite her new black clothes.
The others already split up, some seem to have found people that they know and some of them sit together kin awkward clusters amongst the rowdy Dauntless. She's not sure where to go so she wanders around for a moment looking for an open seat. She is headed for a less crowded table in the back when she hears someone call her name.
"Willow?"
She turns around, scanning the packed tables until her eyes land on a man with spikey green hair and gaged ears. She smiles as it finally clicks who the man is and makes her way over, "West! I almost didn't recognize you."
The former Amity stands up and pulls her into a hug, "Yeah, it's been a long time since I saw you. You were like thirteen when I defected, right?
She nods and he glances down at his friends with a mischievous smirk, "Move over Carter, Willow is going to sit with us."
"Are you sure?" She asks as she moves closer to the now open seat next to his. He nods and she sits down, too excited that she has found a familiar face here to notice the look that the older man gives his friends.
"This is Carter," He tells her motioning to the man now sitting on the other side of her. "And Trever, Calvin, and Mel," He continues as he points to the two guys sitting across from them and a girl who looks like she is closer to Willow's age.
She smiles at them and starts to grab a dinner roll from the basket, "It's nice to meet you guys."
Trevor gives her a wide smile, "So, Willow, how do you know West?"
"He was a friend of my older brother," She explains as she starts to fill her plate.
"Cool," He responds, giving West a sideways glance before giving the new girl a wide smile, "You should come over to West and I's place tonight."
Mel gasps excitedly, "Yes, we're going to go hang out after dinner. Nothing too crazy, just sit around and talk, maybe play a game or something, but you should totally come."
The idea excites Willow, it sounded like fun and she needed to make friends here since she's all alone now, but she also knows that tomorrow is going to be brutal. "I don't know," She replies slowly, "Four sounded pretty serious about us needing to be ready for a rough day tomorrow."
"Come on, Amity," Carter moans, "This is Dauntless, we're all about doing what you want."
"Yeah, we'll make sure you get back in time," Mel adds with a conspiratorial smile in West's direction, "But you need to celebrate! Tonight is the first night of the rest of your life."
"Okay," Willow replies after a moment. What could it hurt to have a little fun before bed?
When they finish eating they sit and talked for a while before West hops up to go invite some of his other friends to the impromptu party they have decided to throw. A few of them disappear and the rest of the group walk through the complex to the stairs that lead up to the floors of member apartments above.
They all sit around and talk for a while before the pair of West's friends who hadn't come with them reappeared carrying a few bottles and a couple six-packs of beer. Alcohol wasn't foreign to Willow, she had had a drink or two with friends on nights back at Amity when they would sneak out into the fields to hang out; but the idea of drinking when she had a big day tomorrow wasn't all that appealing.
Carter grabbed a beer and held it out to her, she gave him a smile and shook her head no. "I'm not really in the mood to drink. Where are your cups, West, I'll just get some wa-"
"Come on, Willow," He replied with a laugh before she could finish. "Stop acting like a stiff, it's just a beer, it's not going to kill you."
It felt like everyone's eyes were on her all of a sudden and Willow had no desire to seem like a stiff instead of a Dauntless, so she took the beer and quickly popped the cap off. She took a long drink and the warm, fuzzy feeling she associated with alcohol spread through her. She smiled at Carter again and he smiled back.
The conversation bounces around from topic to topic before settling on stories about everyone else's initiation. Trevor is talking about his older brother taking him with a group of people to play a Dauntless game called Dare toward the end of his initiation when West cuts him off.
"I have an idea," He announces from his perch on the arm of the couch, "How about we play a game of Dare? To show Willow what it's like."
Everyone sounds their agreement and Willow glances toward the clock hanging on the wall in the kitchen. "I don't know, it's getting late and I have to be up early for training.
Mel gives her a smirk, "No problem, I'm sure everyone here would agree to let you do your dare first. Then you can leave for bed whenever you need to."
"Absolutely," West agrees, "We wouldn't want anyone to think you were afraid to play and decided to leave before your turn."
Willow studies the faces staring at her for a moment before swallowing her apprehension and trying her best to adopt a mask of indifference. "Sounds good," She agrees, crossing her arms over her chest and waiting for her fate to be decided.
"Oh, I have one," Carter announces, jumping up from his seat to go whisper his idea into West's ear.
"Alright," West agrees, giving her a smile, "It's an easy one. I dare you to go into the pit, walk up to a random stranger, kiss them, and then walk away without saying a word."
"That's a good one," Trevor agrees, "But no pecs on the cheek, full on lip on lip contact, and for a reasonable amount of time." He pauses, enjoying the look of panic on the younger girl's face for a moment.
"I won't make you do it with all of us watching, though," West adds as if he is doing her a huge favor. "Mel can go with you and report back. Sound good?"
"Of course," She replies, failing miserably in her attempt to keep her voice even. She swallows hard before continuing, "No big deal."
West smirks at her again before glancing at Mel who quickly stands up and gently grabs Willow's arm, "Let's go!"
Willow tries to walk out of the apartment as confidently as possible, her head held high and her breathing as even as she could make it. The closer they get to The Pit, though, the harder it becomes to stay calm. She tries to tell herself that this is no big deal, but she knows that this is a test. If she fails to seem confident and brave now, these people will never see her as one of them. Just a timid Amity in Dauntless clothing.
When they reach The Pit it is crowded with people. There is a fight going on at one end, people are standing around to watch and it looks like someone is collecting bets. There are groups of people scattered around, most of them drinking. There are also a few people standing near the tattoo parlor, showing off new tattoos and piercings.
"If you're too scared, we can just go back to West's place," Mel says softly in a deceptively understanding tone.
Willow shakes her head no as quickly as she can, "I'm not afraid." It is at this moment that she realizes that she still has her beer clutched in her right hand. She shrugs at Mel and brings the bottle to her lips, tilting it back and chugging what is left. She turns and hands the bottle to the older girl before starting into the crowd.
She scans the crowd as she walks. She looks for someone who is attractive, she might as well enjoy this kiss if she's going to do this. She needs to find someone who isn't with a big group, but alternatively, someone who isn't standing completely alone and off away from people. She needs witnesses but she doesn't want to risk getting stopped when this is over and she goes to make her escape.
She is pretty deep into the crowd when she spots a guy who fits the bill. He's tall and built, his arms look like he could tear her in half if he wanted. His arms and neck are covered in black tattoos, he has several facial piercings, and he's got great hair. He's near people, definitely in a few group's line of sight but he is standing off by himself.
She takes a deep breath and makes her way over. Almost as if he can sense her presence in the crowded room he turns to look over his shoulder just as she reaches him. He gives her a curious look so she raises her hand slightly to give him a wave and hello, when she remembers that she can't talk to him. She lowers her hand slowly and tries to take another deep breath.
"Can I help you?" He asks in a tone that is far from friendly as he turns to face her.
She feels like Mel's eyes are burning a hole in her back. She can't chicken out, she has to do this. She takes a step forward and grabs his shirt to pull him closer, down to her level. Her lips crash into his and she tightens her grip on his shirt to keep him there and in an attempt to keep her arms from shaking. He stiffens up for a second, his surprisingly soft lips motionless against hers. She's beginning to panic now, her mind racing in a million different directions. God, what was she thinking when she decided to go through with this? Her only option now is to act as confident as possible and get away from here as fast as she possible can
She pulls away from him as soon as it feels like it has been long enough. There is only a small hint of confusion on his otherwise indifferent expression, but his eyes showed several layers of emotion. There was definitely some anger shining in them, but also some curiosity and a hint of smugness.
She has no desire to stay and find out which emotion wins out, so she quickly turns and marches away. She keeps her pace even and her head high as she weaves through the crowd; although she wants nothing more than to duck her head and run away.
There are an alarming amount of people watching her now. A few open mouths and wide eyes, a couple of people are laughing, and a few look like they're cheering her on. With all the daring things these people do, surely randomly kissing someone shouldn't warrant this much attention.
She finally breaks free from the crowd and spots Mel standing a few feet away, her eyes wide and her hand over her mouth in an attempt to hide the huge smirk that has taken over her face.
As Willow reaches her she finally breaks down and lets out a snort followed by an oddly evil laugh. "How was that?" Willow asks when she finally came to a stop.
Mel lets out another laugh, "Oh Honey, that was so much better than I could have possibly expected. West is going to be so sad he missed this."
Willow gives her a curious look but she doesn't elaborate, but merely turns to lead the way back through the compound. The journey back to the apartment is devoid of conversation and is almost completely silent, except for the occasional laugh or snort from Mel.
When they get back, Mel can barely wait until they are through the door to tell the others the story. Apparently the guy's name was Eric, and for some reason they all found the fact that she picked him hilariously entertaining.
Willow didn't understand at the time why it was so funny, all she had done was the guy, but they all seemed satisfied with her performance so she was happy. Somehow, she got talked into staying until the game ended, which wasn't until nearly 2 am. That, combined with the other couple of beers she was offered and didn't want to seem stupid for declining, made for a horrific first morning at Dauntless.
She felt like she had just barely laid down when the alarm clock tore her from a deep dreamless sleep. It took her a little while to wake up, so when she finally peeled her tired eyes the bright dorm light was on. She shut her eyes again quickly, the brief flash of light seeming to cut through her head like a knife through butter.
"Oh god," She mumbled to no one in particular.
She heard the other kids get up and drag themselves to the pit to get breakfast, but food was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment. She tried to stay as still as possible with her arm over her eyes until she was pretty sure that she couldn't stay in bed any longer without being late for training.
She didn't bother to change out of the black sweat pants and tank top she had worn to bed, at this point she honestly could not care less if she tried. She stuffed her feet into a pair of socks and the black sneakers she had found in the clothes pile yesterday and started for the training room.
She could hear Four's voice from down the hall, he sounded like he was already yelling at someone. She slipped in the door and took her place at the back of the group. She hoped that she could avoid notice for the day, she was in no condition to be singled out by her instructor. She was staring at her feet when she heard an oddly familiar voice.
"Now that everyone is finally here-
No. Please, for the love of god, no.
She looked up, her eyes wide and her heart seeming to stop for a moment. "For those of you haven't heard yet, my name is Eric. I'm one of the five leaders of Dauntless, and I'll be overseeing your training with Four."
No. No, this cannot be happening. This must be a horrible nightmare. Wake up, Willow!
Her hands balled into fists and she could feel her nails digging into the soft flesh of her palms. She blinked several times in rapid succession in the hope that maybe she was seeing things.
She had no such luck though. He was very much real, and all too aware of her presence. His grey eyes landed on her, shining with a mixture of curiosity and malicious excitement.
"I have a feeling this is going to be a very interesting year," He comment, his eyes boring through her as if he could see straight into her soul to every fear and every insecurity hiding there. He smirked and she could feel her cheeks heat up.
I've made a huge mistake