Harry's POV
Harry wanted to visit the Ministry of Magic to ask if he could borrow Ron's Dad's car. He was going to use it to fly to Japan coz he had heard that Godzilla was waking up in the sea and was terrorising Yokohama. This would be great for his magical creature studies, thought Harry. Harry got into the toilet that would take him to the Ministry of Magic and put on his protective helmet. This is what the helmet looks like:
* Helmet is red and violet with a bit of blue on it
* Helmet is connected to Harry's skull with a mental link so it cannot be removed and will be his friend. Ron got mad at Harry so he's not friends anymore and that's why Harry can't ask Ron if he can borrow his dad's car.
*Helmet has four identical meter long spikes on it in case Godzilla attacks Harry on his way to Japan.
The toilet is flushed and Harry starts to disappear. But oh no! There is a poop in the toilet and it starts to get nearer and nearer to Harry! Harry is annoyed and pissed coz he should've flushed the toilet after last using it. As he goes down the smell hits him and he realised that there was no air in the u-bend! He was going to die?! He thought, "Oh no! I'm going to die in the toilet!" He did a spell, "UNCORKIO!" Then everything went dark.
Voldemort's POV
Voldemort was sitting on his toilet reading the newspaper and laughing at the article about Lucius Malfoy. He had been caught in a bar dressed in drag because his family business was secretly going down the pan and he been earning cash on the side in a transvestite club. Voldemort was laughing but he had to sit down to pee because his dong fell off years ago and he made it into a Horcrux so it could never be found, resurrected or attached ever again. Suddenly Voldemort felt a sharp pain in his rectum as Harry sky rocketed out of the toilet and got wedged in Voldemort's ass. The spikes pierced Voldemort's anal walls and he fell onto the floor bleeding and honking, coz he does honk in the film.
Harry struggled as he suffocated to get out of Voldemort's rear but the Godzilla spikes were stuck in Voldemort's kidneys and so escape was more impossible than escaping Azkaban. Voldemort cast a spell to find out what the hell was happening, "IGNORAMUSIO!"and suddenly he remembered he had ordered the wrong bog from ToiletWorld®! This toilet was meant to be delivered to the Ministry of Magic, and that is why it was in stupid Gryffindor colors! The Ministry of Magic must've had Voldemort's custom death eater toilet. Voldemort started to implode because of blood loss from Harry's Godzilla-repellant helmet and Harry was already dead and covered in Voldemort's shit because he was lodged in Voldemort's bowel cavity after inadvertantly discovering the evil honker's toilet.
Harry died of anal suffocation.
Voldemort exploded in a shower of sharts, diarrhea and Harry's head. He lived on through his Horcruxed dong.
The end.