"How many wars will it take us to learn that only the dead return?" ― Andrea Gibson.
The end of a war means a beginning of something new, but Ron finds that hard to believe when the only ones left are as good as dead.
They might have won the war, but it definitely doesn't feel like a victory to him. Maybe it is because so many innocent people died. Maybe it is because there is a huge, Fred-shaped hole in his family. Maybe it is because the castle, his home for the past seven years, has been torn apart by evil forces.
The war might be over, but they're all still dying inside.
Every day, as they rebuild Hogwarts in silence, he wonders.
He thinks about the war and if things were different; if maybe he had made some better decisions and if Fred didn't die. His thoughts are a string of endless what-ifs and possibilities.
And he keeps thinking until he realizes that it's useless to think up could-have-beens when what's happened can never be changed.
It's a constant cycle of picking up bricks, of shedding tears, of remembering. Ron wonders if it will ever stop.
(Not everything can be fixed with a flick of a wand.)
One day he comes outside onto the grounds to find a walking cemetery.
Everyone's dead. The ghosts of people he used to know glide in front of him, and they're close enough to touch but his hand will just go right through them.
George is missing his other half; his mother is missing a son; Teddy's missing his parents; Harry's missing his godfather; and Hermione's missing her parents, who had both died while she was on the run.
It's a day of the living dead and Ron knows that wars don't leave behind those who didn't die, but rather those who had.
"Without a love my aim is untrue."
-Matthew Barber, Easily Bruised.
Ron continues to live, wondering if he's ever going to come back to life.
Every day is like dying all over again. It's another day without Fred, without Remus, without Tonks, without so many other people he doesn't want to name.
He is so fragile, just barely holding himself together. Every day is another stab to the heart, and Ron asks himself if there's a possibility of ever truly healing.
(They say time heals all wounds, but they don't know how deep the gash runs.)
Ron still feels just the same a month later - exhausted and upset and dead. (He thinks he's forgotten how to laugh now.)
If time's not working on him, he's not sure what will.
(So how is George managing to smile?)
Ron was never a fast learner, but the answer hits him remarkably quickly.
It's Angelina. She's sad about Fred, he's sad about Fred, and don't two negatives make a positive?
It's not so much about being sad together, but rather just being there for each other.
Everyone has to die one day, but if they're in love, they'll feel like they're immortal.
He finds Hermione sitting all alone at the Black Lake, in the shadows of the setting sun and her inner demons, as she has been for the past few months, and he feels silly for not trying sooner.
"Hermione," he says, dropping to the ground and sitting next to her.
"Ron?" she says, almost like a question, as if she can't understand why Ron is talking to her.
"Where have you been?" he asks.
She gives him an odd look. "Right here, Ron. I haven't gone anywhere."
"No, I don't mean that," he explains. "I mean you. Where are you, Hermione? Because you've changed, a lot."
"We all have, Ron." Hermione sighs, looking away.
"But the war is over now," Ron says, attempting to bring the old Hermione back. She doesn't seem to know that they need to help each other heal, rather than depend on time to close the cut.
"For someone so smart, you're being remarkably stupid right now." His words snap her back to reality. "We've all changed, but changing doesn't mean dying."
"I'm clearly alive now, Ronald-"
"No, you're not! Look at yourself!" he exclaims. "You walk around like a zombie with dark circles under your eyes. Everything is a forced action for you, you don't enjoy life anymore, and all you can think about is your dead parents."
The tears are coming and Ron hates it when Hermione cries but he can't stop now, not now.
"Tell me! Tell me, am I right?"
She nods.
A single
tear
falls
and Ron catches it on his finger, and lets her emotions swirl and wrap around his little finger.
"How come I'm so dead if I'm still alive?" she whispers, trembling quietly, and Ron thinks that this is probably the first time she's ever asked him for an answer.
"You need to let someone in," he finally answers. "You need to let someone else fill in the gap that your parents left behind."
"Who do you think will fit?" Suddenly she's close, so close, and Ron can't breathe. "Who can fill up the hole in my heart?"
"Me." Their lips meet and mold perfectly, and Ron knows that they are two broken, dead pieces, but together, they can make a whole.
A/N: This is a companion piece to my story Oblivion, so make sure to read that too if you liked this!
Done for:
Last Ship Standing Competition - Round 3
Camp Potter - First Aid
Easily Bruised Competition
Popular Song Competition - Frick Park Market
Greenhouses Competition - Mandrake
OTP Boot Camp - Prompt #20: Killing