What REALLY happened as our favorite heroes traipsed across the Realm? Were their adventures as the cartoon presented them, or was that just a sugar-coating of the sordid and shocking truth? Find out in The Very Secret Diaries of Dungeons and Dragons!

(For the sake of continuity, read them in the order they're listed. No jumping around to your favorite characters first!)

The following foray into complete insanity is a collaborative effort. The Secret Diaries of Venger, Bobby, Eric and Diana are by Zakiyah. The Secret Diaries of Sheila, Hank, Presto, Rahmoud, Uni and Orc #341 are by Kryschenn. The Secret Diary of Dungeon Master by Bubbles Hentai.

Your journey begins with...

The Secret Diary of Dungeon Master

Day 1: Day 1: ALRIGHT!!! I am finally DA MAN!! Who's number one?! Who's number one?!!! About time that old geezer kicked off. Unfortnately however, I've had to assume the same form as all previous Dungeon Masters so as to keep up the fiction that there's been only one DM from the dawn of time. And I'm so buff too!This is really gonna put a kink in my sex life. Dammit.

ྭ

Day 5: Good lord, it's absolutely amazing the stuff people will put up with just because I'm "Dungeon Master". They'll believe any lame piece of crap I pull out of my ass and call a riddle! This is great! I haven't had so much fun since I convinced Zandora that fooling around cures zits.

ྭ

Day 70: I've discovered that the Realm does not, in fact, fall apart if I assume a disguise and sneak off for a few hours to have a little tryst now and then. It's amazing where a good disguise'll get you. *wink wink nudge nudge*

ྭ

Day 1,069: Aww shit!! Here I am, minding my own business DM-ing and having fun and out of the blue here comes this chick with a little bundle of joy, claiming he's MINE!!! Geez, you brag just once about who you really are and every girl under the suns think they can stick you with paternity. Am consulting my lawyer.

ྭ

Day 1,173: Dammit!! After an extensive court battle the skirt won the right to child support and stuck me with visitation every other weekend. This is really gonna put a kink in my love life, again. Maybe I can win full custody and ditch the child support and stick the kid in day-care.

ྭ

Day 1,697: Whoops. Must remember not to snap my fingers while telling people to hurry up. Too bad about that one village but they do have a certain charm as bog beasts. I'll stick em underground so word doesn't get around and give them some stupid prophecy or other so they won't feel quite so bad about it.

ྭ

Day 2,041: Finally won full custody and termination of mother's rights. Amazing what you can get when you threaten to expose the Judge's Dragons Bane habit. However, he did stick me with training the kid up in a craft. On other hand, ready-made apprentice here so no need to dig through all those applications. Sweet.

ྭ

Day 2,245: Venger coming along nicely with his magical studies. He's really quite the diligent pupil, always studying and and asking questions and digging up new stuff all on his own and never complains. I can't imagine what's wrong with him.

ྭ

Day 2,601: Venger told me to mind my own damn business today when I asked him what was with the shadowy creature I found in his room. Hallelujah Praise the Lord!! Maybe he's my kid after all! About time he showed some bal… Er, backbone.

ྭ

Day 2,968: Am doubting Venger's paternity again. Today I left a nice little surprise in his room for his birthday. And what does he do? He shoved the poor girl, still naked like I left her, out into the hallway and slams the door in her face! I heard him muttering something about disturbing his concentration. Gonna have to have me a talk with that boy. On the upside, I consoled the dear girl quite nicely.

ྭ

Day 3,318: Dammit. Stuck with another paternity suit.

ྭ

Day 4,144: Have started placing my all my 'mistakes' with unsuspecting sucke… eh, nice people who desperately want kids. Parents killed in tragic accident, blah blah blah… Have tried to lock down potential powers but occasionally one or two is 'special'. Good thing those villages are so easy to rebuild.

ྭ

Day 4,468: Have started an orphanage for all the kids I seem to be fathering. Don't any of these twits know how to use birth control?!?!?!

ྭ

Day 4,942: Not sure Venger is really my son. He seems to have the libido of a rock. Not a single unplanned pregnancy yet that I'm aware of.

ྭ

Day 5,191: Dammit, am I gonna have to draw the boy a diagram? And why does he hang around with that shadow demon all the time? I think there's something going on there. Not good.

ྭ

ྭ