I'm Sorry

I'm sorry that I beat you black and blue,

I only did it to prove my love to you.

I'm sorry I broke your arm,

I really didn't mean any harm.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you we were a dud,

I figured you'd catch on when I poisoned your spud.

I'm sorry that I kicked you in the park,

It really was only a lark.

I'm sorry you think it was rude.

I'm used to being crude.

I'm sorry I threw you off the roof,

I was just trying to be aloof.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you that you'd been replaced,

I thought you understood when I tried to disfigured your face.

I'm sorry that live used to be so placid,

No I won't put down this acid.

I'm sorry that even though you like the way I snore,

I won't say that we're sweethearts once more.