Honk, if you Honky-tonk!
By
The X-Filer
--
Honk!
"Mulder?"
Honk!
"Agent Mulder?"
Honk! Honk! Honk!
"Agent Mulder WAKE UP!!"
HONK!!
"What?! I'm awake! Where are we?" Mulder looked around as his vision returned to see Agent Myers staring at him wide eyes "Myers?..." Mulder tried to stand up when something stopped him. He looked at his hands and his eyes flew open, fully awake. "What the?!..."
"Don't ask me how we got here cause all I can remember is... nothing" Mulder continued to look at his hands, well their hands as they were handcuffed to each other around a street lamp with a set of pink fluffy handcuffs connected to each arm, and to make matters worse they were semi naked with only their undies on. Mulder looked down and got more nervous.
"We're naked!" Mulder pulled on the cuffs sharply making Myers bonk his head on the pole.
"Ouch! WATCH IT! And I don't know why you're worried about being semi naked, you have the better body" Mulder looked across at him
"Myers why are we here?" Myers shrugged
"I don't know but all I can think of is that this has the girls written all over it" Mulder coughed
"Agent Myers this has you written all over it!" Myers looked at him offended
"Me? What makes you think I want to be handcuffed with you to a street lamp? If I wanted to do that I would have replaced you with Agent Scully for starters and..."
Honk!
"What in God's name are they honking at?" Mulder was getting annoyed the last thing he wanted was to be cuffed to a lamp post, let alone Agent Myers.
"I don't know, they have been doing that since I woke up, I think that's a sign over there" Mulder craned his neck to see a card board thing standing facing the road. Mulder pulled suddenly on the cuffs causing Myers to bonk his head again.
"OUCH!" In a split second Myers jerked the cuffs this time causing Mulder to smack his head
"OUCH!"
"Yeah I know! It hurts!" Mulder pulled on the cuffs once more on an unexpecting Myers and again bonked his head. "Spooky! Stop it or I'll get brain damage and how would you like to be here next week with a dead body attached and you wishing you hadn't killed me" Mulder rolled his eyes
"If you don't shut up and let me look at the sign then I will kill you and make you the new star attraction on 54th street"
"Ah but if you kill me then you will be stuck to this for a very long time" Myers smiled at him. Mulder glared back
"Not really, when you decay and become bones then I can break your arms off and then I'll be free" Myers snickered
"But I'll swell up first and become a blimp and if I don't explode from the sun then I will surely stink you out"
"Who says you're not a blimp now?" Myers looked at his stomach
"Hey at least I ate this morn... last night" Mulder rolled his eyes
"Just shut up and let me look at the sign." After a few minutes of debating they managed to agree on looking at the sign but Mulder's arms weren't long enough to see around it.
"Oh here let me have a go, I have longer arms" Mulder stared at him but let Myers have a go
"Can you see it?" Mulder said through clenched teeth as his heads was squished against the pole
"Nearly, wait yeah it says... knotyknoh uoy fi knoh" Mulder stared at him
"What? It doesn't make any sense" Myers stared back at him
"Well that's what it says"
"Are you sure you're not reading it upside down?" Myers rolled his eyes a snickered
"Agent Mulder if there's one thing I know, I know when I'm reading something back... oh it is backwards, it says... Honk if you Honky-tonk"
"WHAT?!" In split second Mulder pulled back sharply causing Myers to smack his head and fall to the ground with Mulder along with it.
Honk!
Myers groaned
"I have a headache" Mulder looked at his watch the only thing that was left apart from his undies. Mulder looked at the traffic that was going by.
"This is so embarrassing" He muttered under his breath. Myers looked up the pole
"Well we could go primitive and be like monkeys and climb up the pole. Mulder rolled his eyes.
"Should have bonked you harder" Mulder grumbled as he slumped down beside Myers, they watched the cars go by
Honk! Honk!
"So do you think the girls will come?" Myers asked concerned glancing across at him. Mulder sighed
HONK!!
"They'll come, they'll come"
--
4 hours later
"I spy with my little eyes something beginning with..."
"Road"
"Hey how did you know what I was going to say?"
"Because you've said it for the past 3 go's" Myers coughed
"Well if that's all you've seen for the past hour..."
"4..."
"That's what I said 4 hours then you would..." suddenly a car pulled up and two familiar faces got out. Mulder and Myers both jumped up
"Scully! Harp! Finally! We thought you'd never come!" Scully looked across at Harp who nodded at her.
"Hello Boys, so have we learnt our lesson from last night?" Harp said in an annoyed tone as they both walked over to them. Myers nudged Mulder
"See I told you this had them written all over it" Mulder looked at Scully
"Scully? What lesson? We can't remember what happened this morning let alone last night!" Scully looked across at Harp
"Well that's a shame, looks like we won't be letting you go after all" Scully pulled the keys out from her shirt and dangled it in front of them. The boys gulped.
"We are sorry and we have learnt our lesson" Myers muttered as convincingly as possible. Scully looked across at Harp who shook her head. Scully turned back to them
"Sorry boys, looks like you'll be getting out of this one on your own" She replied as she threw the keys onto the ground near them. Mulder and Myers both stared at it the watched as the girls left.
"Wait! Scully, Harp! We don't remember last night! Scully!" but it was too late they sped off down the road leaving the two men still attached to the pole. Mulder looked at Myers. "Ok Mr. Long arms now see if you can get the keys with your mouth" Myers looked at him
"Me?"
"Just do it already! Do you have to talk back at a time like this, can't you see I'm desperate?"
HONK!
Myers groaned. Then after some feeble attempts they still didn't manage to get the key. Sitting back on the ground in a huff they stared at the road again. Myers looked at Mulder
"So if I die and decay, can you bring me back when we are free?"
HONK!
--
A/N
Hey guys
I have no idea where this one came from but I do hope you enjoyed it
I don't expect anything from this one but I did think of doing another chapter of what they did to deserve this and how they get off the pole lol
But I'm not sure
Anyways I still hope you liked it
Thanks for reading everyone!