This is terrible, but I had to do it. It was killing me not to write it. Just a bit of Merlin crack.

I Don't own Merlin. If I did Merlin and Morgana would have already woken up in a bed together after a night of drunken craziness and suddenly Dark!Morgana would be so much sadder. Just sayin'.

"I have you now, beast!" Arthur cried, charging towards the griffin with his blade. Merlin winced when he heard the telltale sound of metal scraping against metal, for the griffin could not be killed with mortal means. Arthur's knights lined up behind him, excluding Lancelot who was on a separate mission. Leon muttered something about needing Lancelot here, since it was he who last destroyed the griffin. Merlin sighed a little and fell back behind the knights, under the guise of cowardice.

With a gentle prayer in his mind he stared at Arthur's sword as Arthur went in for another strike.

"Bregdan anweald gafeluec!" the commanding whisper did its job as an ethereal blue light surrounded Arthur's Blade. The Crown Prince struck true and with a screech of pain the griffin shattered into dust.

"Did you see that!" Arthur shouted, dropping his sword in shock. Leon shook his head and Gawain walked over to the blade, nudging it with his foot.

"Yes, Sire. The blade glowed, I'm certain," Percival said coming up behind Arthur. Elyan looked behind him to where Merlin was standing but shook his head.

"What is it, Sir Elyan?" Arthur asked, following the knight's gaze.

"Nothing Sire, only…"

"Only what?"

"I thought I heard some sort of chanting behind us, like a spell, but the only one back there is Merlin," he shrugged.

"Strange things do seem to happen when Merlin is around," Gawain said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Like spears that fly out of nowhere," Leon muttered.

"Merlin… what is the meaning of this?" Arthur asked, his eyes narrowed in an angry glare.

"Uh… well, um…" Merlin was trapped like a rat, boxed into a corner. He sighed and looked around. Well, it wasn't the first time this happened, and it wouldn't be the last time either. He held out his hand quickly and his eyes flared gold. "Oatmealeo!"

For a moment all the knights stared blankly at him. "What were we talking about?" Arthur asked, scratching his golden head.

"I think you were talking about lunch, Sire, since you just killed the griffin and all," Merlin said with a shrug.

"And oatmeal. I'm sure we were talking about oatmeal," Percival said rubbing his chin.

"I do like oatmeal," Arthur said looking around.

"Yeah, oatmeal is good stuff," Gawain said with a stupid grin.

"I think we brought some already cooked at the castle, didn't we Merlin?" Leon asked.

And before the return home all the knights gathered round, munching on oatmeal prepared by Merlin, and if anyone wondered why Merlin kept muttering things like "moron's" and "bunch of fools," and "wouldn't see a snake if it bit them" it was ignored as they moved along on their journey home.

The next morning as Merlin left Arthur's rooms, Gwen stopped him with a gentle hand to his elbow.

"Hello Gwen!" Merlin said in a good mood.

"Morning Merlin. Sorry to stop you, but there is something I have to know," she said, almost conspiratorially.

"Yes?" Merlin asked, slightly nervous.

"How on earth do you manage to get Arthur to eat his oatmeal?"

~Fin~

Come on! HE IS SO OBVIOUS! "I'm gonna hide under a branch and no one will suspect me!" Seriously, those knights can't be that dim. He's always casting, pretty much right in front of their faces. He's casting a spell to make them dumb. That's all there is to it. Okay, I'm gonna hide now.