Inspired by this post on tumblr: post/53783997786/camuizuuki-castiels-wormstache
This is really shitty but as I am currently pms-ing, I don't care.
"Dean, I don't want any pizza." Castiel was being incredibly stubborn, even for him.
"Well, why not," Dean snapped. This particular argument had been going on for longer than he'd initially thought it would.
"Because of the pizza man!"
Sam, who had been discreetly watching from behind his laptop screen, snickered at this. His brother turned and glared at him before peevishly asking what was so funny.
"Nothing," he said. He met Cas's questioning gaze and looked away while trying to smother the laugh that was trying to fight its way out of his throat.
Dean glared at Sam for another beat before turning back to the matter at hand. "What about the pizza man, Cas?" He was trying (and failing) to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"I don't want the pizza man to slap my rear."
Sam lost it. He gave up the pretense of being busy and laughed breathlessly.
Dean, taken aback, looked to Sam for some guidance on how to handle the situation. When it became clear that Sam couldn't help him out, he faced Cas again, spluttering.
"I don't understand. How is this humorous?"
Sam laughed even harder.
"The pizza man won't do that," Dean finally said.
"How do you know?"
"Because only I'm allowed to slap your ass." And with that, Dean winked and headed over to the phone.
"But–"
"We're ordering pizza!"
When the doorbell rang, Cas hid in the kitchen and refused to come out until the door was locked.
"For Christ's sake," Dean muttered under his breath.
"Rough day?" The delivery man asked sympathetically.
"Nah, it's just that a certain someone won't get over stupid movie," he said loudly. He failed to get a retort out of Cas. He shook his head and paid the pizza man.
"Have a good night," he called.
"Yeah, you too," the hunter said distractedly. He was so distracted that he didn't notice the other man's eyes flash yellow and his smile turn malicious before he shut the door.
Dean dumped the pizza box on the dining table and went to stand in front of his boyfriend. "I told you," he muttered as he slid his arms around the angel's waist.
"There was something strange about him."
"You didn't even see him."
"I felt it."
"Now you're just being paranoid."
"Dean, I–"
He was interrupted by Dean peppering him with kisses. "I love you, but please shut up about the pizza man." Whenever Castiel tried to argue, he just kissed him until he eventually gave in.
"Where's the– Seriously?"
Dean went through a mental string of expletives before looking at his brother. Sam stood in the kitchen entrance, looking mildly amused. "My house, Sammy."
"It's Sam," he said for the umpteenth time.
"Yeah, whatever. Bitch."
"Jerk." He grabbed the pizza and made his exit.
"You go ahead. I'll just grab the beer."
Cas nodded and went to go join Sam. Dean was closing the fridge when he saw something move outside the window. He set the beer down, grabbed the gun that he kept stashed in one of the cabinets, and opened the back door.
"The game's starting!"
"I'm coming," he called, giving the yard one last, hard look before stepping back inside.
"Dude, what took you so long?"
"I thought I saw something. So who's playing tonight?"
"Steelers and Giants."
"The Giants are gonna get their asses kicked," Dean speculated.
"That'd be true... if the Steelers didn't suck."
"I thought the proper term was thieves," Cas interjected.
The brothers simultaneously sighed and said, "Just watch."
"Fucking psychic sasquatch," Dean griped around his toothbrush.
Cas said nothing. He'd long since given up on interrupting Dean during his long-winded, usually Sam oriented rants. Recently, he would just tilt his head and pretend to be listening full heartedly.
Tonight, however, he didn't even bother. He sat cross legged on their bed and stared blankly at the ceiling.
"Are you even paying attention?"
"Not really, no." Castiel knew that he simply could've lied but he was too busy puzzling over the delivery guy. He heard Dean rinse out his mouth before he moved to stand in the bathroom doorway.
"Are you still freaked over earlier?"
"Yes."
"Why are you so obsessed?"
"Because there was something odd about him. I believe he's a demon."
"If he were a demon, he wouldn't have been able to walk past the driveway," Dean argued as he crossed the room and sank down onto the bed. Cas just frowned. "Maybe it was just a bad feeling."
"I assumed that bad feelings were usually correct."
He smothered his smile before saying, "You know what I meant. Look, let's just get some sleep, kay?"
Cas reluctantly agreed and laid down but Dean could tell that he was still perturbed. "Can do some research tomorrow?"
Dean slid under the covers and wrapped his arm around Cas's waist. "Will it make you feel better?" The angel awkwardly turned his head so Dean could see him nod. "Then sure." He gave Cas a chaste kiss. "Love you."
"I love you too." He turned back around and listened as Dean's breathing gradually became slower. He absentmindedly twisted the ring that Dean had given him. To the most of his knowledge, they called it an engagement ring. Why humans didn't skip the engagement process and simply get married used to confuse him but he now appreciated the custom. Castiel fell asleep pondering other human rituals.
Dean came to in an empty bed to the sensation of something dripping on his face. He pawed at his face a few times before he realized that it wasn't just a weird feeling. Slowly, he opened his eyes.
He wished that he hadn't.
Cas was splayed across the ceiling with blood dripping from his stomach and his mouth open in a silent scream. Then, just when Dean thought things couldn't get worse, he burst into flames.
He clawed the bed sheets as he screamed Cas's name. Sam ran in and surveyed the room, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. Dean didn't notice his brother bust in until he was trying to drag him out of the room. He tried to get away from Sam, he really did. He threw wild punches, kicked backwards at Sam's shins and just fought like hell to get away. But Sam managed to avoid the brunt of Dean's attacks.
"Dean, come on," Sam gasped.
Dean kept screaming and thrashing as if he didn't hear Sam.
"Cas," he half screamed, half sobbed as Sam dragged him out of the house. Suddenly, the fire stopped. Then, just as suddenly, fire belched out of what was the master bedroom.
Dean's legs gave out from under him as he stared blankly at his house. He heard sirens coming down the streets but they sounded muffled, as if he was underwater.
The medics checked Dean out first after Sam refused to cooperate. Dean neither accepted or declined. He just let them do whatever they wanted. They poked and prodded him freely until they asked him to unclench his fist.
"No," he said hollowly.
"Sir, we need to see if you have any burns on your palms," one paramedic said quietly.
"I don't."
"We just need to make sure."
"I. Don't."
The younger Winchester interjected before anyone could get hurt. "Dean, what're you holding?"
"Cas's ring."
Sam flinched at how dead Dean sounded.
"You should've listened to your pretty little angel, boy," a foreign voice hissed.
Both brother's heads snapped up as the voice came closer. Dean squinted and bit down on his lip roughly when he saw the pizza man.
"He was right, y'know," the man continued. "Maybe if you'd listened, he'd be here." Azazel dropped all pretenses and let the Winchester's see his yellow irises. He then proceeded to bark out a harsh laugh as Dean lunged at him.
"You're supposed to be dead," Sam growled as he struggled to keep his brother from attacking the demon's vessel.
"You think that you boys are the only ones who can come back from the dead?"
"You son of a bitch."
Azazel smiled before turning to Dean. "This time he won't come back."
Dean froze. "The hell are you talking about," he croaked.
"No one's going to resurrect him. Not God, not that Naomi bitch. He's really dead this time."
Sam heard him laugh as Dean started praying to Cas. He also heard Dean's breathing hitch when Cas didn't appear.
"Nonononono," Dean whispered.
Azazel laughed. "Have a nice life," he called as he walked away.
Dean screamed wordlessly into the night.