Chapter 1

Summary: Emily. Deep dark thoughts. Not a good combination. What makes her think about cutting? What makes her think about suicide?

Emily

I am like a broken mirror. Won't ever be perfect again. No matter what.

My finger is using its own ink. It's writing using its own ink. Do you know what that ink is? It's my blood.

I cut myself. Every night I use my sword, to leave a bigger cut, because I will never be beautiful so what's the point? I am hated. Hated!

I put my finger on the paper of my diary. I use my blood as its own pen ink.

"Ugly" I write.

Someone knocks at my door.

"Uhh….One minute!" I shout. I let my sword disappear. I close the diary and hide it under my bed. I grab my black sweater (Not Goth or anything. Just a long black sweater) and put it on. My blood won't be visible.

I go for the door. I feel weak.

I reach the door knob. I pry it open. I reveal to me, an Asian girl. My friend. My sister. Mia.

"Hi." I say almost as if a breath will break her. But instead I am the one breaking. Breaking on the inside. Someone, anyone, no one can help. Because I am a broken mirror. I make other people pretty. I show them their pretty.

"It's time for dinner." She says. My stomach is sick. It's thinking sick thoughts. I am thinking sick thoughts. No food.

"I'm not hungry. I ate a big lunch at my house." I said.

"Oh, okay." She says. She turns and leaves.

It's starting to become visible of how much weight I'm losing. Why do I even need his approval? Why do I really need his approval? He doesn't care about me. I desire it though. I just want him to love me like he loves her.

No matter how many times he says I'm ugly, or anything, I will always try and change to get his approval. Someone take him away. I'm a good girl, aren't I? I behave. I work hard. Why can't I be happy? Shouldn't he love me like he loves them?

He just doesn't love me. I am his punching bag. I am his knife holder. I am like cranberry juice to him, he absolutely hates it, I must be spilled. My blood in the cranberry juice. My body and bones are just the glass that contain it.

I am not a person to him.I am nothing to him. He doesn't care about me like his kind should.

I remember a time, when I was younger, where my father promised to protect me from harm. He didn't do a good job.

My dad isn't protecting me. He is dead. He died two years ago. He promised me to protect me but now he is gone.

Flashback

"Hey Millie." My dad said coming over to me. I was wearing a dark blue dress with white laced flowers all over. I was 4. He picked me up and tickled my belly. I giggled. He picked me up and started to push me on my swing. I let go, wanting to feel free. I fell with a thud.

My dad ran over to me. I had a scraped knee and I needed stitches on my head.

"Hurt!" I screamed in pain.

"It's okay honey. I'll fix you all up!" My dad said.

"Hurt!" I repeated.

"Does it hurt badly?" He was now carrying me to the car while running.

"Hurting badly!" I cried out.

"I'll make sure you're never in this much pain again. That's a promise!" He said.

He took care of me. He loved me. But I never got to say goodbye. I wish he was still here to protect me.

My phone started to ring. I answered.

"Hel…hello?" I asked, my voice quivering.

"Hello. You coming over this weekend?" He said.

"I-I thi-think so." I trembled.

"Good, good. I was thinking about you today. I got a new knife and I immediately thought of you. You will meet it this weekend." He said.

I immediately hung up. I regret that. I regret hanging up. I know I will pay for it later.

I opened my door and bolted.

Jayden

We heard a door open. Emily came out running.

(I am quoting a song because I love it. Search Am I Pretty Yet by Lexirosemusic. Amazing!)

(I heard Horror Tears but it's haunting so I am going with Horror)

She had horror tears streaming down her sweet face. She was running away from her room. Why?

I got up and ran after her. She ran outside and was now running into the woods.

"Em!" I screamed after her. She turned around, still running, and looked at me. She had tears.

She stopped when she saw my face.

"What's the matter? Why are you running?" I asked.

"I….They…these are tears of joy. My step father…he came back from the army. I was running home to see him. I love him. Besides, I need to visit my boyfriend." She said wiping the tears.

Emily

"I….They…these are tears of joy. My step father…he came back from the army. I was running home to see him. I love him. Besides, I need to visit my boyfriend." I said wiping the tears. It was partially true. Okay it was all a lie. I just needed to find my retreat spot. My step father is in the army but he's been home. My boyfriend however is coming home this weekend from Boston. The most dangerous town. No wonder why he has a gun and knife.

(Jemily later on!)

I have a boyfriend because I am tired of going after Jayden when he won't love someone like me. I ended up getting a boyfriend.

"I also want to see Serena and Elliot." I said, Elliot was my little half brother. He is 3. My step-father and mother have been married since I was 6. 8 years later, before I joined the Samurai, Elliot was born.

"Next time let us know. Okay?" He asked. I nodded and began to run to my retreat.

So who is using her as a punching bag. Her boyfriend or father? (I want to say the boyfriend because he has a knife and well who gives birth to a kid to abuse another? So yea…. This is only if I was reading. I know the answer and that may be it but It won't be reveals till later.)