Like whenever I would tease you about putting your hair up in pigtails and painting your nails red while you were sleeping and then receiving that look from you. The one that made me feel as though you were looking past my eyes and into my soul. Then you'd shake your head and call me an idiot, a small smile on your face, that I knew you tried to hide, that let me know you didn't mean it.
I loved to listen to you talk, simply because I dreamed of your voice at night. I loved to see you smile, mainly because I hardly ever saw a genuine smile form on that beautiful face of yours. I loved how you felt no one was better for me than yourself, only because it was true. But most of all… I loved you. I loved you with every fiber of my heart, and being of my soul.
You were my everything.
My world.
I still remember that day, almost as though it were a video replaying itself in my mind. A video that never ceased to remind me of my last moments with you, and no matter how hard I tried to keep that video from replaying over and over again, I could never do it, because I knew that I'd never be able to forget you, and that I didn't want to forget you.
I had gotten a call that day while I was in the kitchen, cooking dinner. It was our anniversary. We had been dating for nearly three years. Do you remember? I kept on asking you what you had gotten me, and all you would do was smile and say, 'You'll get what you get and like it.' I was satisfied with that, because I knew that, no matter what it was that you could have possibly given to me, nothing was better than the gift of knowing you cared.
I answered the phone to the sound of a doctor at the nearby hospital.
"Is this Miss Hikaru?"
"It is. May I ask who's calling?"
"My apologies. This is Doctor Shikari at the Domino Medical Center."
"Yes?"
"It's about Mr. Kaiba, ma'am. He's been in an accident."
I didn't bother to let the man finish, nor to hang up the phone, for that matter. As soon as I heard your name, I dropped the phone and ran out the door, arriving at the hospital barely five minutes later. I was then directed to the door of a hospital room, where the doctor who had called was waiting, a solemn, serious expression on his face.
"Where is he? Please, is he alright?" I wanted to ask so many more questions. However, I was so worried, that after the first two, my voice seemed to fail me. The doctor simply sighed in response to my questions and shook his head.
"He's not doing well, Miss. He has many head injuries, and…" He paused, his gaze falling to the floor, and when he looked back up at me, I raised both of my eyebrows, eyes brimming with tears. "And," He continued. "…A few rather large pieces of glass from the windshield punctured his chest. We've removed them, but… I'm afraid we didn't get there soon enough. His heart rate is slowing, and he's bleeding internally, with no way for us to stop it…. I'm very sorry." I'm sure those last three words were words that he repeated to multiple people daily, but at the moment I didn't care.
"Is he..?" I found myself unable to say anything else, but the doctor understood. He shook his head and opened the door to the room that we stood outside of.
"He's still alive… But there's nothing more that we can do for him. He was asking for you, though…" A tear rolled down my cheek as he said this, and I walked slowly into the room, hearing the doctor close the door behind me.
The curtains were drawn around your bed, and I was afraid to look. Afraid to discover that this all wasn't just a nightmare. That it was all real. However, I heard you mumble my name, and I stepped forward silently, reaching out with a nervous hand and pulling back the curtains.
The sight that met me still brings tears to my eyes. I remember the cuts and dried blood that covered your bare chest, which moved heavily with your labored breathing. I remember the bruises that covered your handsome face. But, worst of all, I remember your eyes. The blue eyes that always made me smile broke my heart that day.
I bit my lip, trying to keep from crying, and you held out a battered hand, inviting me to come sit beside you. I did so eagerly, yet nervously, knowing that with every one of my movements, I was confirming a harsh reality that I didn't want to face.
I took your hand in mind, kissing it gently as I seated myself beside you on the bed. I tried my best to offer you a confident smile, even though I realize that I failed miserably.
"You were speeding again, weren't you?"
You chuckled, as though the fact that you were dying were no big deal. "Yeah…"
"I always tell you…" I had to pause to look away, directing my gaze to the window. If I had continued I would have broken down. "I always tell you… That you can't do that… Because then…" I bit my lip. "Then something like this would happen." I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and I reached up quickly, brushing it away. I didn't want you to see me cry.
"I suppose I should probably listen to what you say a little more often, then…." I felt my heart sink as you spoke those words, knowing that I'd probably never get the chance to lecture you about your horrible driving habits ever again. I closed my eyes and you gripped my hand tighter. "Look at me…"
At first, I refused. I didn't want to look into those beautiful eyes of yours again. And I didn't want you to know how much pain you had caused me. How your reckless behavior had broken my heart. However, I felt your hand on my face and I opened my eyes, turning to look at you.
You stared at me for a moment, those eyes searching my own from some sort of hint. A hint, I suppose that was to inform you on what to say next. That's when I broke down. The tears began to fall freely and I reached up with both of my hands, wiping them from my cheeks. You pulled me to you and I cried into your chest, your arms making me feel secure as you whispered quiet condolences in my ear, running a hand through my hair.
I cried. And cried. And cried.
And after I had dried myself out of tears, I lay on your bed with you, your hand in mine as I listened to your heartbeat. The rhythm of your heart did not match mine, like it usually did, and had it not been for the fact that I had no tears left to cry, I would have began again. Your heartbeat was too slow. So slow that I could count the seconds between each thump, and the seconds would steadily grow longer.
The silence in the room was agonizing, but peaceful. It seemed to last forever.
"I wanted to give you something….."
I sat up slowly at the sound of your voice and watched as you reached for a small velvet box on the nightstand next to the bed. I felt a lump gathering in my throat as you opened the lid, revealing a ring. A small, but beautiful diamond placed atop the white gold.
"I wanted to know if you would marry me… And.." I could tell that you were having trouble speaking. "If that answer is yes… I think we should get married here.. Right now."
I smiled and nodded my head. "Yes… The answer's yes… A hundred times yes…."
It was amazing to me how easily a priest was found within the large hospital, and how Doctor Shikari automatically volunteered to be the witness, and how another ring, nearly matching my own, had been found for you. It was almost as though you had planned the entire thing.
You sat in your bed, and I stood beside you, holding your hand.
"Repeat after me… I, Leiko Hikaru,"
"I, Leiko Hikaru,"
"Take thee, Seto Kaiba,"
"Take thee, Seto Kaiba,"
"To be my lawfully wedded husband."
I smiled down at you, my eyes beginning to sting once more.
"To be my lawfully wedded husband."
I watched happily as the ring was slipped onto my finger by your gentle hands, and listened carefully as you said the same vows as I had, not wanting to forget a single moment as I slid your own ring onto your finger.
You kissed me gently as the priest announced us 'man and wife', introducing us to the few doctors and nurses in the room as 'Mr. and Mrs. Seto Kaiba.'.
Only a few hours later, I sat beside your bed, holding your hand, watching as your eyes grew heavy.
"Seto… Stay with me.." Was all I said, and after awhile, you responded.
"I'm just going to take a rest… I'm not going anywhere…" You looked over at me and squeezed my hand gently. "I promise."
I forced myself to believe you, even though I knew that it was pointless in trying to keep you around. I watched as you drifted off to sleep, and watched the rise and fall of your chest, even slower now than it had been when I first arrived. I began to believe that you were truly just taking a rest, and would be back soon, to greet me good morning, so we could live our lives happily together.
But…
You never woke up.
I loved you, Seto Kaiba.
I always did.
I always have.
I always will.
sorry if it's kind of depressing. i've just been in that kind of mood lately.