author's notes: the persons responsible for this mess of a fic know who they are.
tree pose
Les really should have known better than to accept the job, but she really needed the money because her friends had recommended Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda and she preferred to own books rather than check them out from the library. So on Halloween evening, while on her way to Maisie's house, she breathed deeply and told herself several times that she would not kill Alecto or even maim her.
That plan was almost ruined when, after Les rang the doorbell, Alecto answered it completely naked and dripping wet. She dragged Les inside, where she proceeded to cower behind and cling to the leg of a very confused Les while Maisie shouted for her from upstairs.
"What is going on?" Les asked, finally managing to pry Alecto's arms from her leg. "Put some clothes on, for the love of Merlin. I don't want to see that!"
Alecto pouted and sat on the floor, hair hanging limply down her back and dripping water on the wood. Maisie came down the stairs just then and shook her head apologetically as she crossed to them and scooped Alecto up like a baby.
"Sorry about that," she said. "Alecto doesn't like cleaning baths very much." She looked down at herself with a rueful grin: her clothes were soaked through — from Alecto splashing, Les assumed.
"Cleaning baths?" Les asked. "What other types of baths are there?"
"Oh," Maisie counted on her fingers, "there's rice baths, which Alecto loves, and there's tomato juice baths, and fruit baths, and shiny baths, and licking baths, and family baths and —"
"The fuck?" Les's eyebrows had disappeared into her hairline. "Hold up a sec — you all take baths together?"
Maisie nodded. "All the time. Family baths are Alecto's third favourite — next to rice and shiny baths, of course."
Les blinked, dazed with the new knowledge. "Uh-huh. Of course."
"Now," continued Maisie, as if she hadn't just dropped the idea of family baths onto poor Les's head, "Amycus and I can't thank you enough for doing this. We've wanted to have a night out for months, but there's never been a good time."
"Um. You're...welcome?"
"Alecto's costume is in her closet, the makeup she is allowed to wear is on her vanity…" Maisie began leading the way upstairs. "Dinner is in the fridge, the bowl of candy is right by the door, Alecto's plastic pumpkin candy-carrier thing is on her bed."
"Got it," said Les.
"If we aren't here when you get back, bedtime is at ten-thirty. Depending on how the night goes, she may need a bath before then. If she's dirty, make sure she actually washes before letting her out of the tub. She likes to have her pygmy puff, Fiona, with her when she goes to sleep, but I take it away during the night because she has a tendency to suffocate the poor thing."
Maisie kicked open a door and set her adopted daughter down on the bed in the center of the room. "I'll help Alecto get ready, and then Amycus and I will be on our way."
"I could help her, if you want," suggested Les.
Maisie shook her head. "Thanks, but Alecto kind of needs this time for preparing to be without us. I've got it."
•
Later, Les was very glad Maisie hadn't taken her up on the offer to dress Alecto. It took nearly two hours, making Les very bored but also glad she'd arrived early. First, Alecto wanted these shoes, then she wanted these ones that had heels, and then Maisie put her foot down and said absolutely no heels, and then Alecto had a tantrum worthy of Les's adopted son, Severus, who Les was very glad had not come tonight because he didn't need to get caught up in any more bad influence, and —
It was a bit of a disaster. More than a disaster, really. Anything that involved Alecto and dressing was bound to go wrong one way or another. Les knew that even before she agreed to take the job.
So why exactly had she taken it? She really couldn't answer that.
Anyway, Alecto was finally dressed and made-up — she'd decided to be a black cat this year, so Maisie had drawn whiskers on her cheeks and coloured a black dot on her nose. She wore a furry one-piece with a hood that had ears, her hands were covered with black and pink paws, and black feet went over the top of her sensible trainers.
Amycus and Maisie left with many backward waves, and Les turned to Alecto when the couple Disapparated from the front steps with a loud crack. "You ready?"
"Meow," replied Alecto. She picked up her plastic pumpkin and set her pygmy puff inside. "Meow!" she cried as she fell to all fours and crawled down the stairs.
Les just rolled her eyes and followed.
•
After they managed to get out of the house, trick-or-treating with Alecto really wasn't all that bad. That lasted, oh, about three house stops.
Alecto, being the adorable cat she was, collected at least fifteen pieces of candy from the first few houses. Les received one — and that was really only because the little girl handing out candy liked her Halloween tattoo.
It was at house number five that things started going downhill. Alecto decided her legs were tired and wanted Les to carry both her and her pumpkin. Les, already being burdened with her own (albeit nearly empty) candy bucket, refused. Alecto sat down on the pavement and started crying, and refused to budge. Finally, Les gave in, ate her single piece of candy, put her bucket on her head, and picked Alecto up like a baby.
This was how they were when Les walked up the stone path to the front door of an elaborately-decorated house. She set Alecto down and rang the doorbell. As soon as she pressed the button, lights started flashing and sirens began wailing. Les knew that it was just a speaker, but Alecto completely freaked out, and as soon as the door was opened, she bolted inside.
"Sorry, excuse me, pardon me," Les mumbled as she squeezed past a very confused woman. "I'll be right back." She rushed up the stairs — when Alecto got scared, she sought heights. "Alecto? Alecto Fiona Carrow, get back here right now!"
She searched every upstairs bedroom to no avail. It was only passing by a hall window that she spotted Alecto perched precariously in a large tree and looking scared to death.
"Oh boy." Les rubbed her forehead. She could feel the headache coming on.
Returning downstairs, she spotted the owner of the house. Who...she happened to know. "Dragon!" she exclaimed happily. "Thank goodness it's you; I don't know how I would explain this to someone else."
"Slow down," said Dragon. "What just happened?"
"That was Alecto. She climbed out a window and is stuck in a tree. I need to call the fire department or Maisie is going to vaporise me."
"I'll do it," Dragon soothed. "Why don't you go outside and try to keep Alecto calm?"
•
Easier said than done. To keep Alecto calm, Les taped candy to sticks and poked them up at Alecto so she could eat.
Also, Dragon called Maisie and told her to come pick Alecto up. Unfortunately, she did this before calling the fire department, so when Maisie arrived, Alecto was still stuck up a tree.
The fire department arrived after a while and rescued Alecto, then rushed off because Halloween was apparently a hot time for crimes. Maisie squeezed Alecto so tightly when she was brought down that the poor kitty nearly suffocated.
Les only ended up receiving half of her wages because of the tree incident, but she was fine with it because she'd managed to get a picture of Alecto clinging to the branch and she finally had enough money to buy Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda.