p class="MsoNoSpacing"Carole had just style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanMichael had thought it hurt when former General Manager, Ed Truck had passed away, but this was different, this was far style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanMichael had been dating Carole for a month and he had known within the first 24 minutes of the second day he met her that he had found true style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanWhile listening to the first ten seconds of James Blunt's "Goodbye my Lover" on repeat, he felt a profound style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe would give anything to feel the pain of his heart being dropped into a bucket of boiling tears as his crotch soul was hit with a frozen sledgehammer and third person punched him in the grief style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanMichael tried explaining his feelings to Dwight, that this pain was more profound, and told him "it feels like being locked in a room with Toby forever, and both of us are still alive."/p
p class="MsoNoSpacing"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDwight, a former volunteer sheriff deputy, felt style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAs Assistant (to the) Regional Manager, it was his duty to bring Michael unadulterated style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanDwight did not understand why Michael was so upset, Carole lacked a backbone and she was under 5'9," she could never harvest beets. Carole just lost the greatest thing she would ever have, but it was up to Dwight to protect Michael from pain, and his days abiding by Pennsylvania State law may have to end, if necessary, to abide by Dunder Mifflin style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThere was no creature on earth more fiercely loyal than Dwight, no dog could measure up, and that was due to his superior genes, strength gained from resorbing his twin that died in style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanDwight has been Michael's greatest protector consistently and would die for such an honorable cause. Protecting Michael is required of the Assistant (to the) Regional Manager and is the highest moral good. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanOften, that is from Jim's shenanigans that cost the branch productivity, but today, a female human hurt style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanThat woman served him no purpose, she did not provide him with children to tend to the farm, no, she was a succubus and it was obvious when she turned down his proposal at the Diwali party, dressed as a style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAs Michael continued to listen to the first few lines of "Goodbye My Lover" on repeat, Dwight exited his office as the psychological torture of Michael's pain gnawed at him./p
p class="MsoNoSpacing"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanDwight sat down to his desk, hoping the exhilaration of selling paper would distract him from Michael's pain, but his nemesis, Jim Halpert, had other plans. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanJim asked Dwight why he spent so much time in Michael's office, suggesting Dwight was style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAt that point, the Assistant (to the) Regional Manager buckled under pressure and had to correct his subordinate, so as not to look style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanDwight informed Jim that Michael had his broken, and it was up to him to comfort Michael per his job duties, and that's when Jim gave Dwight a brilliant style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanDwight never thought he would take a directive from a "moron" like Jim, but he made a suggestion that ensured Michael's worst fears could never come true. Dwight had to save Michael and the rest of the world from its most evil force; Toby from style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanIt is Toby, after all, who never did his job, he infringed on Michael's informative meetings, and deceived Dwight into thinking he had filed complaints against the dastardly Jim with corporate when he had actually stored them in a style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanAs Toby sat lifelessly in his cubicle, doing nothing as usual, Jim suggested Dwight slaughter him like a Christmas style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p
p class="MsoNoSpacing""Toby may be evil, but why would you suggest I break the law when you do not have his best interest in mind, like I do."span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p
p class="MsoNoSpacing"Jim replied "Dwight, while I do not have your best interests in mind, slaughtering Toby would your loyalty to Michael, and keep you from distracting style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe has a list of names in his cubicle, featuring you, Angela, and Michael, and I heard that he has plans to strangle those people."span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/p
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p
p class="MsoNoSpacing""That's ridiculous!span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanMICHAELLLLLLL!" Dwight exclaimed./p
p class="MsoNoSpacing" /p
p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .25in;"Dwight realized everything was making sense; Toby had sinister plans, and even archenemies must unite against a common evil style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanToby was that evil force, and he needed to be stopped before hurting his secret lover, Angela, or his more importantly, his General Manager, Michael Scott. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanDwight opened his bottom left drawer for a ninja star, threw it with perfect aim, and sliced Toby's throat before that evil creature could continue causing all the world's ills, was he the Scranton Strangler?span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanFor the first time in an hour, Dwight saw a light that could light the darkest sky; Michael's smile. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanEveryone felt a mix of emotions; relief that James Blunt was no longer playing, and horror as they stared at the disturbing scene. Pam dialed 911, Dwight Shrute would never be able to become a volunteer sheriff deputy again, but he healed Michael's pain, and fulfilled his duty./p