WARNING! This story contains SPOILERS and YAOI!
This is a two-chapter one-shot. If that makes sense. o.o;; KuroFai loveliness with the first chapter in Kurogane's POV, the second in Fai's POV. I was inspired to write this based off the song Keeping Me Alive by The Afters. It fits this couple so perfectly. The lyrics to the song are interspersed throughout the story. First chapter is set in the Tokyo of the later chapters in the manga, or the first OVA in the anime: Tsubasa Tokyo Revelations.
Enjoy!
Rated: T [for language]
Bold: Used only in dreams or flashbacks to indicate the POV's lines.
Italics: Used to indicate dreams, flashbacks, and thoughts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but it would be pretty awesome if I did.
Keeping Me Alive: Part One
Kurogane:
"It's no use."
A weary voice said softly and breathed out. The sound of a soft clink came as the young woman's tweezers brushed the side of a bowl filled with blood-soaked cotton balls. Glasses adorned her very sober face. She released the pressure on the instrument to drop another ball in with the others. Each was just as saturated as the next. There was a higher pitched gasp.
"What do you mean?!"
It came from a small rabbit-like thing that sat on the nearby bed. Two long ears drooped as the white creature raised both paws to his mouth and waited fearfully for an answer. Light reflected off of the shiny red stone in his forehead, projecting into a hologram of a black-haired woman who looked on in silence.
"His eyeball has been gouged out. In a case like this, it's not uncommon to die just of shock...not to mention we don't have enough medicine here."
The young woman laid the tweezers down on the table near the bowl of cotton balls, sighing in resignation. One of the older men stepped forward and laid a work-hardened hand on her shoulder in sympathy, speaking to the others in the room.
"We have no doctor here. Satsuki-chan is a medical student, but as far as performing surgery...that's really difficult."
The rabbit thing, named Mokona, cut in.
"What will happen to Fai?!"
Deathly silence followed as an answer.
A group of seven cloaked people stood around the room. Two boys dressed in black were standing beside each other and a brunette was looking on in silence, his eyes focused on the sleeping girl lying on one of the two beds. A silhouette of a tall dark-haired man was framed by the doorway as he stood the furthest away, arms folded across his chest.
"Yuuko!! YUUKO!!"
Tears streamed down the white creature's face as he called pleadingly to the image of the woman projected from his forehead jewel. Yuuko's face remained emotionless and her eyes drifted to look at the blonde man lying on the other bed where Mokona was sitting.
"Please!! Fai's going to die!! YUUKO!!"
The manjuu begged desperately as more tears fell from his eyes. Yuuko appeared to be about to speak when a weak voice quietly broke in.
"...D-Don't...."
The dark ninja in the doorway instantly lifted his head, blood-red eyes sparking as he recognized the voice. The blonde on the bed had spoken. His left eye was covered with a tangle of bandages, all seeping with blood, several thin trails of it trickling out from underneath the failed attempt to stem the flow. Everyone in the room turned to listen as he went on, voice shaky from the effort of talking and breath coming in short gasps.
"If I continue to live...Syaoran-kun's magic will also live."
The brunette boy flinched a little. It had been his fault that Fai had lost an eye. His clone "self" had desired power to cross dimensions and knowing that the magician possessed such power in the blue color of his eyes, had torn out the man's left eyeball, stealing his magic.
"It's only half the magic but it's still too great..."
The voice trailed off into a coughing fit. The magician was the one who now lay on the bed, right eye closed, as he slowly succumbed to the temptation to fall asleep for good. The man in the doorway watched, his muscled body tensing.
Fai...you...
Fai had finished coughing and sucked in a few breaths, preparing himself to go on. His face was calm, but the creased lines spoke of suffering and pain that he was clearly not showing on the surface.
...idiot...
The ninja's right hand clenched itself into a fist. The blonde sighed lightly, finishing his statement.
"...He...won't be able to be stopped..."
Mokona choked a strangled sob and wailed.
"FAI!!"
That did it.
A sharp cracking noise was heard from the entrance. Several people gasped and all turned to stare at the dark figure in the doorway.
The hell?! How could you do this to me?
Kurogane's body tensed, right arm outstretched and right fist sitting in the middle of a small crater he'd made when he punched the wall. His entire frame was almost visibly shaking with pent-up emotion.
This whole time...you never...cared about yourself at all?!
"What...kind of person..."
His deep voice reverberated the small room as he gritted out the words. Without warning, he lunged forward.
"...would just resign himself to that?!"
Kurogane's fist had moved position and now clutched the front of the blonde mage's bloody shirt, hauling Fai's small frame a bit off the bed. His scarlet eyes bore into Fai's half-opened blue one and he drew back his left fist, as if to launch it forward to grind into the magician's face. Mokona yelled suddenly.
"Stop!! Kurogane!!"
It's like I never lived
Before my life with you
The ninja's eyes and the magician's eye were locked. Crimson piercing sapphire.
Why the f*ck don't you care about yourself? Does it even occur to you that we care? That I care?!
Kurogane mentally screamed at Fai, body tensed with anger but eyes shaking with honest hurt. The fist meant for Fai's face trembled. The blonde's face moved weakly to curve into a signature smile. The smile that he always wore: fake, empty, superficial. Never sincere. His single blue eye glistened with sadness and longing.
"...I'm sorry."
The look on his face indicated that he almost expected the ninja to punch him and was accepting it. He whispered the words to Kurogane's ears only before he lost the strength to even hold his own head straight, letting it fall limply to the side. The sight was like a dagger piercing Kurogane's heart.
You can't...die...
The ninja's fist finally lowered, as did his head, and he moved the hand to cradle the soft blonde head. His voice was quiet, but firm.
"Witch, is there a way to save this guy?"
The woman in the hologram answered him.
"...there is."
Kurogane immediately jerked to look at her.
"However, if I were to do it, the price would be too heavy to bear."
...Price? Price doesn't matter. I'd give anything.
So much was missing here
I never even knew
He returned to gazing at Fai's face, lightly tuning out the sound of the vampire twins and one of the men as they discussed the problem of the water with Yuuko. The magician took slow and ragged breaths, chest heaving up and down with the effort. Red liquid was still seeping out from under the dirty bandages around his empty eye, siphoning the strength from his body.
Fai...
Kurogane felt a lump form in his throat. Ever since his parents were murdered, he'd lived his entire life for the sole purpose of avenging them. Strength was all that mattered. Get stronger and kill the man with the dark crest he'd seen on that sword. He hadn't known it, but he'd formed walls around himself blocking out everyone else. Becoming strong was his only goal besides his vow to protect his country and the ruler of it, Princess Tomoyo. He had shut out interaction from anyone else and had locked up emotions, labeling them as weak and useless. Friends were overrated. Relationships not necessary.
His way of life had come to a screeching halt that one fateful day when Tomoyo had sent him away. His desire for strength was blinding him. He didn't know what true strength was anymore. There were none left in the country of Nihon to fight. Tomoyo, knowing this, had sent him to the Dimensional Witch, otherwise known as Yuuko, in hopes that he would learn more about what it means to be strong.
The ninja sighed, releasing his hold on Fai's shirt to gently stroke the mage's bloodied cheek with the back of his fingers. Fai didn't seem to feel anything. If he did, he made no response.
The slender blonde man had changed Kurogane's life completely from the very moment he popped into Yuuko's realm beside him.
I still picture the place we were
When I fell into your world
"Are you the Witch of Dimensions?"
Your voice was soft and light, but I could clearly tell from the beginning that you were hiding something. Your smile was too damn big. Your face was too damn happy. You were much too damn light-hearted. I was annoyed instantly. Even when you introduced yourself...
"I'm a Celes country wizard. Fai D. Flourite."
It was as if you was not proud of your name. I knew from living in Nihon that there were a such thing as wizards. We only had seers, but wizards had gone in and out of the country before...and all had titles. D. is the highest rank. Yet...you seemed almost pained when you said it, like...you hated it.
Kurogane dropped his hand from Fai's face.
You...said when we fought that female magician in Koryo country...
"If the person sleeping underwater in my old world awakens, then I might get caught."
What did you mean? Who is after you? Is it that Ashura guy? You seemed really tense when that name was spoken of in Shara. And in Outo...you refused to use magic even when the demon broke your ankle. I just...don't understand you...but I want to. Please help me to understand.
The ninja grit his teeth. He had so many questions to ask the mage. Fai was the first person he'd ever come to be genuinely concerned about. He was an onion, with layer after layer of unsolved mysteries that Kurogane was sure would cause anyone to cry if they were unraveled. And it was all hidden so perfectly behind the fake smile that was meant to keep the rest of them from worrying over the blonde.
Baka...it may have fooled the others, but it only served to worry me more. I see through your bullshit mask...
Fai was a riddle that he wanted to crack. He wanted him to open up, to speak his mind for once. He couldn't stand to see the pain that shone behind smiling sapphire irises. The plastic smile drove him crazy. Out of everyone in the group, Fai was the one he cared the most about. His chest tightened as he realized something.
I-
"Kurogane."
Yuuko's voice filtered into his thoughts and interrupted them, bringing him abruptly back into the present. He glanced at her.
"Please ask me to fill the underground reservoir full of water."
It took him a minute to understand what she wanted of him. The conversation he'd tuned out prodded the back of his mind and he recalled something about the vampire named Subaru needing water for the reservoir.
"And then, as an exchange for you requesting Subaru's wish, ask of Subaru that he gives his blood to Fai."
Wh-What?!
Kurogane's head snapped over to stare at the twin boys in black, unconsciously tightening his grip around Fai's weak body. Both vampires looked calm and unstartled, and the slightly shorter one took a step forward.
That's Subaru I'm guessing...
"A vampire's ability to heal far surpasses that of a human's. Even more so, since those two are purebred. If he receives that blood, Fai will not die."
Yuuko continued quietly and the other vampire took hold of Subaru's arm, sharp golden eyes flickering with worry. His brother patted the hand on his arm reassuringly and the two exchanged a few whispered words. Mokona chirped, sniffling just a little.
"Will Fai turn into a vampire? Will he have to suck the blood of lots of people like in a book Yuuko showed Mokona once?"
The ninja felt his chest tighten further and he stared down the witch in the reflection, anxious to hear the answer. Somehow the idea of Fai becoming a vampire made him twist with worry. The magician cared so much about others that having to take life-giving fluid from them would break his heart. Not to mention all the trust he would lose from people he had formed relationships with. It would destroy him. The witch cut into his thoughts with the answer to Mokona's question.
"He will if he receives the vampire's blood and nothing else."
She focused her sharp eyes on Kurogane.
"Kurogane. That Fai does not die is your request. Fai does not wish for it. Therefore, the responsibility for making him live must also fall on you."
My heart is in you
Where you go you carry me
The dark-haired man narrowed his eyes.
"What do I do?"
I'll do anything...
"You will become his bait. When he drinks Subaru's blood, he will drink your blood with it. If that happens, it will make Fai only able to accept your blood. Rather, he will not drink anyone's blood but yours."
Mokona seemed distressed again.
"But!! That means if anything happens to Kurogane, Fai will...will..!!"
"He will die."
The witch finished for him, face breaking into a slight indication of sympathy as she gazed at the image of Kurogane holding Fai. The man grunted as the body he held tensed slowly.
So I'll become this guy's lifeline? So be it. It's not like I'm gonna die any time soon anyway.
His face was the picture of resolve and he no longer held his first wish of returning home to be the most important anymore. Holding Fai in his arms, he knew without a doubt that the most important thing in the world was keeping him alive. No matter what the cost. Straightening up, he pierced Yuuko's eyes with his own evenly.
"I get it. I'll pay the price for the water. So hand over the blood."
"Nn..."
Kurogane flinched as Fai shifted in his arms, trying in vain to sit up in protest.
"..S..Stop..."
"SHUT UP!!"
The loud sound of Kurogane's yell reverberated through the room, sending everyone on edge. The vampire twins stared at him and Syaoran swallowed nervously.
"If you want to die so bad, I will kill you. Until then, live."
Fai's eye widened at the ninja's words, and for once, there was no smile. His face showed an honest expression of surprise. A feeling of warmth washed over Kurogane as the magician slowly relaxed in his arms, the slightest hint of a real, true smile twitching as his mouth. The single blue eye closed and Kurogane's gaze softened.
Fai...is it clear now? Do you understand?
I bleed
If you bleed
The taller vampire twin, named Kamui, stepped in front of his brother.
"I will do it."
Subaru seemed about to protest, but Kamui looked at him evenly, eyes stern.
"I don't want anyone to mess with Subaru's blood anymore."
Kurogane watched as the boy used an elongated fingernail to slice a vein in his wrist, drawing a trickle of blood. Kamui walked over to the bedside and his eyes bore into Kurogane's.
"Hold out your arm."
Here it goes.
The dark-haired man kept one hand behind Fai's head and released the other one, holding it out to Kamui. There was a quick sharp burning sensation as the vampire's nail made a clean slice on his wrist, red liquid starting to bubble up out of the small wound. Kneeling on the bed, Kurogane leaned over the magician as Kamui held out his own wrist. Vampiric blood dripped down, mingling with his, and the crimson mixture slowly spilt over the side of his wrist. Fai's eye popped wide open as the blood fell into his partially open mouth.
An agonizing scream of pain tore from his throat, instantly stopping Kurogane's heart.
Your heart beats
Inside of me
Fai!!
The wizard's body jerked violently and his mouth hung open pathetically in a silent continuation of the scream. Spasms of pain vibrated through his slim frame and his arms desperately started flailing for something to grab onto.
"Hold him down."
Kamui ordered sharply and Kurogane caught hold of Fai, pinning him to the bed by his shoulders. A look of pain was clearly etched in his face as he watched the magician's attack of pain helplessly. Fai's eye flickered from blue to gold and back again multiple times and he stared at the ninja, begging wordlessly in a blind plea for help.
"The structure of his body is changing. Of course, it hurts."
The vampire's voice came calmly, unconcerned.
You don't give a damn, do you?!
Kamui didn't seem bothered by the scathing look Kurogane shot him. He turned to the others.
"Can you please leave for a little?"
The men and women exchanged looks. Fai twisted out of Kurogane's grip and onto his stomach, hands finding the bedsheets and clenching them furiously, eye shut tight trying to block out the pain. To no avail. Kurogane gripped his arm supportively and lay a hand on Fai's back, wishing there was something he could do to ease his suffering. The older man who had comforted the young doctor sighed and the lady beside him spoke softly.
"Let's leave. These people won't run away."
She was the first to exit the room, cloak fluttering out behind her. The rest of the group followed suit, and the young doctor looked over at Kurogane with a pained expression on her face before leaving as well.
"Sorry I couldn't do anything..."
The magician abandoned the sheets to grab desperately at Kurogane's arms, fingers twisting into the already-torn fabric of his sleeves as he held onto the ninja for dear life, throat constricting in another agonized yelp. The bandages were loosening around his ruined eye and several strips hung limply in a dirty tapestry from his face. Fai clenched his teeth and his head fell forward over Kurogane's lap as he sucked in air with rasping breaths.
Mokona blinked back more tears, hardly able to bear the sight, and whimpered.
"Fai...Fai..."
The ninja swallowed hard and tore his gaze away from the mage to lock eyes with the brunette boy.
"Carry the princess."
Syaoran nodded and walked over to the other bed, sliding his arms under the sleeping girl's frame and lifting her up. Kurogane looked at Kamui and his grip on the blonde tightened.
"What will happen to his left eye?"
"The wounds prior to becoming a vampire won't heal. Because it has been gouged out, it will remain empty."
Kurogane's expression darkened. Of course the twin vampire would say this also without feeling. His attention was caught by Yuuko.
"Vampires aren't eternally young and immortal. That is only a legend. They are not weakened by sun or holy water. Since Kamui and Subaru are of the 'pure breed', they possess extraordinary healing powers."
Kurogane noticed that Kamui's sliced wrist was already almost healed as the witch continued.
"Those who acquire vampirism are a bit stronger than humans, and they age slower. Since Fai's life is already longer because of his strong magic powers, this won't really change it. Kurogane, your lifespan increases too. And unlike before, the blood of a prey is needed to live."
Kamui cut in, voice holding a surprised tone.
"You agreed to becoming 'prey' without even being aware of this? Without knowing that you would profit from the witch's transaction as well?"
The dark-haired man glanced down at Fai.
Of course I did. Whatever the price and whatever the consequence of keeping Fai alive, I will pay it. I don't need to benefit from it. Because I...I...
"If I had hesitated even a bit, this guy would have died. Besides, the mage trusted that witch many times in the past, and I trust his opinion. I asked her for help, believing in that."
Mokona looked at him in awe, a soft smile coming to his tear-stained face.
"Kurogane..."
Yuuko spoke again.
"One more thing. If you get back his stolen left eye, Fai's magic power will return too. With that, the need for the vampire's blood will be negated. If Fai's left eye is returned, you won't have to act as 'prey' anymore either."
The manjuu blinked in surprise and Kurogane loosened his grip on the wizard as Fai let go of his arms.
Even so...knowing that we're linked together like this...
Kurogane narrowed his crimson eyes evenly at the witch's hologram.
"You tested me, didn't you?"
The witch gave no answer. A soft intake of breath caused the ninja to gaze again at Fai, watching silently as the blonde magician panted wearily, slowly lifting his head. His heart rate increased and he restrained his urge to grab hold of Fai's shoulders right then and tell the man exactly how he felt. The magician's single eye finally came into view, now a bright glowing gold. It locked with Kurogane's scarlet ones.
The two looked at each other silently. Ninja and wizard. Unspoken feelings shot back and forth in that one gaze, and the others in the room were quiet, allowing them that precious moment. The mage's eyes burned into the other man's asking a desperate question. Kurogane's lips parted slightly and he mouthed something to Fai. The movement was unnoticed by all but the blonde. His single eye widened slightly and the golden color bled into blue as his eye changed back to normal. Then it slid closed.
You're keeping me alive
Fai's body collapsed, falling into Kurogane's arms as he was taken over by unconsciousness.
"FAI!!"
Mokona screamed in panic, but Subaru soon calmed him with a soft smile.
"It's alright now. Let him rest a bit."
The white creature bounced over to hug Kamui and thank him while the vampire blinked in surprise. Syaoran caught Kurogane's eyes and handed him a black strip of fabric. Understanding immediately, Kurogane took it and began unwrapping the bandages from Fai's left eye, replacing it with the makeshift eyepatch. Yuuko's voice reached him as he worked.
"Remember, even if you don't return his left eye, Fai can choose not to drink your blood. No matter what methods you use. Even if he smiles from now on, that doesn't mean he has accepted it."
...because his smiles were so sincere before...
Kurogane thought bitterly, but nodded.
"I understand."
Kamui and Subaru both had left and Syaoran lingered with Sakura in his arms. Mokona blinked and bounced over to Syaoran's shoulder.
"Let's go fill the reservoir with water."
The boy nodded and began to leave, glancing at Kurogane once he reached the doorway.
"I'll be there in a moment."
Syaoran nodded again at Kurogane's words and offered a small smile before slipping out the door, leaving the ninja alone with the mage. Kurogane pulled the sleeping blonde to his chest gently and lowered his head to rest softly on the top of Fai's own. They were bound together by a bond that could not be broken. Fleetingly, he repeated in his mind the silent exchange that had happened just before Fai passed out.
'Why?! Why did you do this?! I never asked to be saved! I didn't want this! Why, Kurogane??'
Isn't it obvious by now? I don't care if you didn't want this. I can't let you die. You can't...because...
Then the mouthed words that had rendered Fai mentally speechless.
...I love you.
Please review! Let me know what you thought! I'd also absolutely love to receive any type of KuroFai fan art~! I'm currently on an art-whore spree, so if you want to give me some, I will gladly take it and probably spaz happily. xD