JUST BECAUSE
This short, early morning drabble is a gift to ATTHS_TWICE and Kyouryokusenshi, who have both been huge supporters of my work and also happen to be huge fans of Mulder/Scully family/baby fics. Ladies, this is your just because appreciation story. Set early January following the birth of baby girl Mulder. Enjoy.
When he hears the first whimper, Mulder rolls and reaches for the monitor, stilling himself on his side and breathing out a soft sigh of relief when the warm body nestled behind him remains unmoved.
Thankful that he had been able to reach the monitor in time, he gets out of bed as stealthy as possible, careful not disturb the sheets or comforter beyond what is necessary to exit. Experience has taught him that there is only a short window of time following the initial whimper. His daughter is a lot of things, but patience, thus far, has not been her virtue. Grabbing a pair of sweat pants from the floor, he tip-toes across their room and closes the door lightly behind him before making his way into the nursery.
Pulling on his sweatpants, he silently celebrates his impeccable timing when the beginnings of a soon-to-be cry face immediately shift into an opened-mouthed grin as he reaches the side of her crib.
"Good morning, beautiful," he whispers to her.
Returning her smile, he picks her up and cradles her onto his bare chest, placing kisses along the beginnings of her fine, strawberry blonde hair as he takes in her scent. The fresh smell of clean baby still clings to her skin from her bath the night before, but he also smells Scully, who had bathed and fed her before putting her down for the night.
Her happy coos and early morning babbles fill Mulder with a sense of happiness and contentment that he has never experienced before. Rocking her gently on his chest, he carries her over to the changing table and lays her down. Every time he looks at her, his heart threatens to burst. The fact that she's here and that she's theirs still shocks him in the best possible way.
Before Scully, there had always been layers of protection to ensure that a pregnancy was not possible. As traumatic as his own childhood had been, the prospect of having a child of his own had terrified him to no end. It wasn't until he fell in love with Scully that he came to understand the desire to procreate. His love for her had filled him with an unquenchable thirst that he had never experienced before. The desire to please her and fulfill her desires had negated all of his preconceived notions and fears regarding family. All these years later, Mulder has many regrets, but combining his DNA with Dana Scully's has never been one of them.
In the years that followed William's adoption, he and Scully had done little to prevent additional pregnancies. Though they had never spoken about it in the traditional sense, he was not naive to Scully's desires or intentions. The hormones he found in their medicine cabinet in combination with the subtle, almost indistinguishable dots and lines in her planner had required no translation.
She wanted to be a mother. She wanted to try again.
In his own way, Mulder had prayed for another miracle just as she had. The silence that followed had only served to solidify to him that there was nobody up there who was listening. Until, of course, the day that there was.
The little bundle in front of him had changed everything. Scully had taught him what love was, but even his love for her hadn't prepared him for the love he felt for his daughter. Katherine Margaret Mulder's entrance into their lives had been a shock. Being in their fifties, a baby had been the furthest thing from either of their minds, but now, neither of them can image their lives without her. She is Scully made over but with his goofy disposition and sense of wonder.
"Not too loud, Kit-Kat," he says softly, in an attempt to keep her coos quiet. "We don't want to wake Mommy — again."
She looks up at him with an expression of pure delight, smiling up at him as if he has told her the funniest the story she's ever heard as he seals her new diaper and puts her tiny little feet back into her footed pajamas.
"That's Daddy's girl," he says, lifting her to his lips and kissing her little nose and forehead before bringing her back to rest against his chest.
Taking extra care to avoid the creaky spots on the stairs, Mulder carries her downstairs and retrieves one of her pre-made bottles out of the refrigerator to warm. Keeping her cradled securely in against his chest, he turns on the burner beneath the tea kettle and begins to gather the ingredients he had hidden the night before. Warming the bottle just as Scully had shown him, he shakes it and then tests it on his forearm before offering it to her.
"Now, I know this isn't the same as Mommy. But Daddy needs Mommy to sleep a little while longer, so I'm going to need you to be a team player this morning and take this bottle like a champ, okay?"
When he brings the bottle up to her lips, she fusses a bit, but with some gentle rocking and soothing whispers, he's able to get to her settle enough to take it. The first time he tried this, she had outright refused, her Scully temper flaring at being denied the comfort of her mother's breast. But with Scully working again, she has gotten a lot better at taking a bottle in her mother's absence.
Breathing a sigh of relief, he lowers his head to kiss her little head, stilling his movement when her tiny hand comes into contact with the morning stubbles on his chin. When he looks down at her again, she stops suckling with an audible pop and smiles up at him. Tears threaten the edges of his eyes as he runs his thumb across her cheek and nestles her deeper into his embrace in a way that encourages her to continue to suckle.
"You know, there was a time in my life that I didn't believe in miracles," he whispers to her softly. "I've always wanted to believe, but deep down, I didn't. Not really. The power of belief … I didn't have that until I met your mother. I was broken, damaged, and flawed beyond measure, but she loved me anyway. Her love was my miracle. It's what gave me the courage to believe."
The room is silent as he continues to rock her and watch her feed.
"When I look at you, I see her … which is why daddy keeps buying guns."
"Ah, so that's why," a voice from behind says softly.
Her voice is raspy from sleep, but there's underlying emotion to it that brings a soft smile to his lips. He doesn't have to turn to know that he's made his wife cry.
"How long have you been standing there, Scully?"
"Long enough."
Having heard her voice, their daughter begins to squirm and turn her head away from the bottle.
"Well, now that you're here, this just won't do. Though I can't say that I blame her. Daddy prefers the real thing too."
He turns around to find Scully leaning against framing of the entryway to kitchen clad in a robe and fuzzy house slippers that help to explain her silent entry. He starts to rise from the chair, but the nod she gives him as she begins to move across the room, stills his movement.
When she reaches him, she bends forward and gives him a lingering kiss as she takes their daughter from him.
"Good morning," he says to her as their lips part.
"Good morning."
Bringing the squirming infant to her chest, Scully settles in the chair next to him.
"Patience, Katie …. patience," she says, chuckling at the impatience their daughter is displaying as she undoes the sash on her robe.
The sounds of her impatient fuss are quickly quieted and replaced with the sound of suckling as she latches on and settles in her mother's arms. Watching their daughter feed is something Mulder will never tire of, but his love for his daughter doesn't overshadow the fact that he is still very much a man.
It had taken several months for Scully's body to recover from Katie's delivery, but last week she had surprised him in the shower and announced her body was ready, coaxing him into pinning her up against the shower wall and having his way with her. He has had trouble keeping his hands off of her ever since then. Last night had been no exception.
Looking at her now as she feeds their daughter, it's quite apparent that she's wearing nothing aside from her robe, slippers, and a smile.
What's all of this?" she asks, nodding her head towards the various packages on the countertop.
The light in her eyes as she speaks only makes him want her more.
"Just a little something," he replies with meaning.
"Hmmm … just a little something?" she asks, raising her brow.
"The plan was breakfast in bed, but I guess me and Kit-Kat weren't quiet enough, huh little one?" he asks, standing and raising his hand to brush across his daughter's cheek as she continues to feed.
"It was actually the quiet that woke me. That and the cool sheets behind me," she says with a smile. "You should have woken me."
"You've been working long hours, and I kept you up late last night."
"That you did … but I didn't mind."
Chuckling, his mind drifts back to the night before. After putting Katie to bed, Scully had put in a movie and joined him on the couch. If he were to be asked at gunpoint what movie she put in, he wouldn't be able to answer to save his life.
"You could refrain from looking so pleased with yourself," she says, her eyes following him as walks over to the countertop and begins to organize the ingredients he has pulled out for breakfast.
"I could."
Her hearty laughter diverts his attention back to her. With her sash untied and their daughter cuddled up against her breasts, she is a vision. In the comfort of their own home, there is no need for modesty, but comfort isn't her only motivation. Scully knows damn well what she's doing. If she weren't feeding their daughter, he'd lay her out on the kitchen table and wipe that teasing smirk right off of her face, but there are certain things little eyes don't need to see, even if she is only two and half months old and unlikely to remember.
"What's the occasion?" she asks, eyeing the pancake mix and fresh fruit out on the countertop.
"Occasion?"
"Breakfast in bed?"
"Does there have to be an occasion?"
"No," she replies, her voice dropping an octave as she questions me with her eyes.
Before she can question him further, Katie becomes restless, wiggling in Scully's arms and demanding her attention as she unlatches and begins to fuss. Shifting her in her arms, Scully raises her onto her shoulder to burp, which only serves the intensify the level of fuss.
Knowing she will quiet when Scully repositions her, Mulder continues to gather ingredients without offering assistance, pulling out a few eggs, fresh strawberries, and a package of bacon from the refrigerator. Pans, utensils, measuring cups, and a mixing bowl follow. By the time he's gotten everything organized and the first few pieces of bacon in the skillet, Katie has quieted and is contently feeding.
"I could get used to this. You, shirtless … making me breakfast," she says.
To this, he can only smirk. He's frying bacon with no shirt. He fears nothing, and she has made him this way.
"You could, but then it wouldn't be a just because breakfast anymore. It would just be breakfast."
"So that's what this is? A just because breakfast?"
Yes, he thinks. That is precisely what this is.
Giving her knowing smile, he doesn't answer with words. Instead, he cracks eggs, flips bacon, cuts strawberries, and mixes pancake batter. Surprising her in bed would have been fun, but he is by no means disappointed in the view he has as he works. If the smile that adorns her face now is any indication, Scully is perfectly content to let him keep her guessing, which is good, because he has significant plans for the whipped cream hidden in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator.