Hanging Back
By Falcon-Rider
I watch her now, as she cries. Cries because she misses him, because she doesn't know if her child is even hers. The evidence is there, there is no reason that it isn't her baby. She needs this to be hers, hers and his. It has to be his… why else would she be so desperate to find him?
When I look at her my eyes fill with longing. My heart pounds but I… I can't do anything to help her. I can't fill the empty space in her heart. No. Only one person can do that, and though I desperately wish I could be that one person, I know I will not be him.
Why? Because she already has someone in her heart, I know I can never fill that position. So, I guess I have taken it as my duty to help her find that person that fills her heart, no matter how long, no matter how much pain she or I have to go through.
She deserves to be happy, and I'm not the one who lights up her eyes. I'm not the one she cries for. Misses. I may want to be that man but I'm not. I will never be. So I'll watch her, help her, and protect her and her baby… until we find him.
Why? Because I know she will always hurt until he is found. Even if there were to be something… between us, I know she would never truly be happy with me, no, his memory would always loom over us, in a corner, in the child… everywhere.
That is why I can't become more than a friend, a close friend, a best friend. Anything more and we might both regret it. I know I would, if he were to return. So I hang back, and hope. Oh I hope he will return, and fill that emptiness in her eyes, in her soul.
Oh I wish I could be him, oh I wish.
And I hope.
© 2001 to me. I wrote this in less than 15 min. J I had inspiration, what can I say. I just say the new X-file episode and though I don't personally like this char. I thought this would make a nice fic, so I wrote it. Comments and suggestions are welcome.
I don't own X-files and unless you want 77 cents don't sue me, please. J