Does that make you love me?
"We are made for loving. If we don't love, we will be like plants without water." - Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize winner
I had grown very comfortable in my dark cave. I knew where I was. I was in my mothers stomach. Her name was Bella. She had the beautiful voice and I knew she loved me very much. She told me that everyday. Her heartbeat was almost as comforting as her voice. It some how made things better knowing she was still breathing. Like things were the way they were supposed to be.
Other peoples voices were comfting to like my aunt rose. Or at least that's what my mother had told me when she introduced me to my family. I didn't know why but I already loved them all. But my aunt rose always talked directly to me in a loving voice. No one but her and my mother did that.
Jacobs voice was almost as sweet as my mommy's. He never really spoke lovingly though. He always sounded in pain or mad. It didn't want him to be in pain. He was already my Jacob and I adored him. I always felt whole when he was near and he took half of me away when he left.
Then there was Edward. My father. I loved him as much as my mother. His voice was the best lullaby. He like my Jacob never coed to me like my mommy. He never sound happy. I wondered why. I wanted what ever was making him unhappy just to go away and never come back. He also unlike my mommy never told me he loved me. From what I knew he was supposed to. I wondered why he never told me that. I kind of always hoped he did but part of me said that he didn't and I was the thing that was keeping him unhappy. I never wanted to listen to that side. But sometimes he said things that backed that theory up. Like when he said he wanted to abort me. I didn't know what that meant but it didn't sound fun, though I could be wrong.
My hearing had gotten better sine I had got here. Everyday I could hear more conversations. Which was started to become a bad thing. I was the main center of conversations and they never said nice things about me. But I knew somewhere in their hearts they loved me too. Maybe they just didn't know it yet.
I was focused on a conversation my mother and father were having. I didn't think such a beautiful sound could ever be copied. My mother was telling him not to worry and to cheer up. She was right he need to. My mother heart was always a little faster when my daddy was around. I knew why. She loved him so much. I could always feel love coming from both of them every time they were near each other. That love always made me very happy.
Anyways, he told her he couldn't be happy with her like this. Then again he said he thought it was best to abort me. I really needed to figure out what that word meant. She said she wouldn't here of such thing and then it went silent.
My daddy was the first to break the silence saying he was sorry. But this time when he talked it sounded weird like he was saying two different things at once. When my mommy talked back it sounded normal. But my daddy contuigned talking but I didn't think he was speaking. The sound was more hushed. Barley audible, but still there. What was happening. I had never heard this before. Then he replied to her and it happened again. He was saying two different things. I didn't think that was possible. No one else was doing it.
Then my advanced mind gave me the answer. He was thinking these things. The hushed voices were his thoughts. I was reading my daddy's thought. What a revelation. This was one of the happiest moment of my short life. I once heard my Jacob say that my daddy could read peoples thoughts so maybe I got that trait from him. Why couldn't I hear anyone else? Could I just hear daddy. That was fine with me. I loved him more than anyone so I just wanted to hear his thoughts.
So I focused really hard on the velvet, as I had heard my mother describe it, voice. I heard my mothers name first. It sent warmth through me to hear it from him. So much love behind the thought it hurt my fragile body. But some how made me fell all warm and fuzzy. I wanted to hear more so I listened while he laid next to my mother.
"Demon child. Not even a child. that's all that thing is. How could Bella let such a monster grow inside her. Does she know that- that thing is killing her. All it wants to do is hurt my precious Bella. The demon shall pay. Why wont Bella just let me kill it. that's what it deserves. A hard, painful, tortouse death. Just like it is doing to Bella. And she excepts me to love the demon. I could never. I will always hate it. No matter what. What if it lives and she doesn't. I would never let that happen. If the thing makes it to birth I will have no choice but to kill it. Maybe I could lie to Bella and say it died with birth complications. Then I would take the monster and take care of it once and for all."
I knew immediately who he was talking about. Me. No he couldn't be thinking this. I must have it wrong. I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. How could he think I wanted to hurt mommy. I didn't even know I was doing that. My heart was in so much pain I thought I was going to die from heart ache. Maybe that would make him happy. He did want me dead after all. I wanted him to be happy and for mommy to live and I was reason neither was happening. I was a demon. I was killing the one I loved most.
If I stayed in mommy's stomach the she would remain in pain. But if I was born then my daddy was going to kill me. I didn't want to be killed. I was stuck. Maybe if I convened my father that I was not the monster he thought I was I could be born and take my mother out of pain. And not be killed. Maybe I could convince him to love me or at the least not hate me. I mean he could read minds so maybe if I think really hard he would hear me out. It was worth a try. So I thought with everything my little brain could.
"Daddy?" nothing just his ranting about how he wanted me dead. Maybe he didn't know to answer to that name. Maybe I should tell him. "Edward, maybe you might not know this but you are my daddy so when I say that I am referring to you. Is that ok?" I heard the ranting stop. His mind sounded confused. Maybe he was hearing me? I continued louder this time "daddy. You have it all wrong. I am not a demon. I promise. I adore you and mommy. I would never hurt either of you on purpose. You must know that. Please don't kill me. I love you so much. I know you don't love me but I am going to try to convince you to. So here it goes. I have brown eyes like mommy. I heard you say you love those. Does that make you love me? I also heard you have bronze hair. So do I! Does that make you love me? Me and you have the same special talent. We can both read minds, though I can only read yours, but that's fine. I love hearing your voice either way. Does that make you love me? I have a hear for music. I heard you do to. Does that make you love me? I am a girl. I guess im pretty. Does that make you love me? And finally I love and adore you and mommy so much. I know no one else in the world has ever loved anyone more. Does that make you love me?"
I waited for his mind to respond. It was silent. I knew he had heard me. The waiting was painful. What if he didn't listen to me? I heard his mind whirling. Than it was on me. But not the way he saw me before. There was no hate there. It was like sunshine. Had I convinced him to love me? I wondered if he could still hear me.
"Daddy if you can hear me please say something. I Love you. Did I convince you to love me?"
I waited again for what seemed a hour. Then the angelic voice came again with no hate in them at all. "Of course I love you. I am very sorry about thinking those things. I didn't know. But now I do. And I will love you forever. Not that makes up for anything but, I will make sure nothing ever hurts you. Including me. I had no idea you loved Bella. Well I cant see how someone couldn't. Can you forgive me for those things?"
I couldn't believe it. I had done it. I answered him immediately "I forgive you completely. I love you forever too."
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