Loves Final Dance
Category: Firefly, 2008 ficlet
Title: Loves Final Dance
Chapter: Complete
Word count: 1171
Genre: Romance, Angst, Death, Survival
Rating: PG - 13
Summary: Completing, Memories of a Broken Dancer & Dancing into the Light. Rayne Implied.
Disclaimer: Characters are Joss's. I only borrow them to tell my story.
Loves Final Dance
The big man looked into the mirror and thought how old the face was that looked back at him. Tired and drawn the lines heavier than he remembered. And more than a few gray hairs in his goatee. He wondered how much of his hair would be gray now if he let it grow as he shaved his head, still in honor of her memory.
He remembered the day when her hair started to come out in clumps and the look of despair she had from it. She feared that with her loss of beauty the big man might not love her anymore even though she knew better in her heart. The look in her eyes when he came out of the bathroom that morning freshly shaved and smooth was one of relief as he told her why he did it.
At her request he sat her on a chair and ran his clippers gently over her head removing the last parts of her long dark hair. Making warm foam out of soap and brush he carefully ran the razor over the stubble until it was as smooth as his own. They drew looks in public but neither cared as the act was just another proclamation of their love for each other.
He walked into the room she had used to dance in, his treasures proudly placed on a shelf there in her memory. And he wiped the waist high bar dusty from disuse with a cloth. Taking the new blue bottle of her favorite scent 'Le soir à Paris' that he had finally identified, he sprayed it into the air and she filled the room again. He could make himself believe she had only just stepped out. He touched a finger tip to the bottle. Smelled it then delicately touching his tongue, could imagine tasting it on her skin once again. He breathed her into him once more.
The home once again was alive with her. He closed his eyes and slowly moved around the room to music no one could hear. Holding a woman no one could see. And he felt content. He touched the satin of her slippers, warmed by the late sun and remembered how they felt smooth and soft like her skin had. He moved through the house remembering the mementos of their life together. The old clock that didn't work on the mantel she had to have at the antique store and the pleading look she gave him. And the joy as he talked down the price and got it for her. All the little figures of ballerinas that collected the dust he removed so religiously.
Framed posters on the walls of places she wanted to go that he would have taken her too but for time running out. All the things she had chosen to fill their home with, old oriental rugs and cobalt glass on shelves he had mounted in the windows to catch the light for her. His leather winged back chair the lone concession to the woman's touch that was evident everywhere else. To the closet full of her clothing neatly organized like it waited her return and that smelled like her once again.
He went to the kitchen of the old house and prepared his evening meal. He still set the small table for two out of habit and could picture her there. He washed the dishes and reset his side of the table after dining. Then put on some music she had loved and pouring himself a small drink went to sit in his chair. And thus the evening passed quietly as he remembered her.
She still would dance in his dreams but always just out on his reach and never could he hear her speak. Try as he might to close the distance he never could, much to his unhappiness. He thought if he could reach her she would stay with him forever if only he could touch her again. But she eluded his grasp every time.
They had told the big man they could help, that they could give him more years. When he refused they did not understand but did what they could to control his pain. These he used sparingly as the dulled his memories of her. He understood what she had felt at the end and how much she had paid to be brave for him. And he hurt at the thought of that cost.
Weary and tired to the bone he went and prepared for bed. And soon was in the bed they had shared, Morpheus wrapping him in slumber and letting him dream as his breathing slowed and he was at peace. Soon she appeared a vision of herself from a better time before sickness overcame her. And as she danced around him he heard her say, "You weren't made to be a stone. You were made to be my shelter." As she wrapped herself into his arms he felt younger and more alive than in a very long time.
His kiss had been held for her so long, he paid it to her with interest. And he felt that her passion for him was still as strong. And they danced gracefully together for the first time in so very long. He prayed in his heart they would never part from each other and that he could hold her like this forever. And in sleep his body took its last breath.
And God showed the man how much he loved him.
This is the final part of the Dancer trilogy. It was supposed to be a one shot but words spoken to me changed that and a second was added. Again words were spoken and yet again it changed and the third was added.
This is for my beloved Kassie. Keep dancing sweetheart, I'm on my way and I'll be there soon. I Love You.