IDIL's Note: So, I've been sick on and off now, thus I apologize for my lack of updating. However, I'm becoming increasingly busy again, and my updates will most likely become increasingly sporadic. I apologize in advance and hope that my readers can still enjoy whatever I manage to put out. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
They were sitting at the table in her apartment, eating dinner, when all of a sudden he pops the question, "Have you ever wondered if what we're doing is wrong?"
She looks up at him, startled, and cocks her head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?"
He furrows his brow and repeats the question. "Do you ever get the feeling that maybe what we're doing isn't right?"
Now it's her turn to look frustrated. She's upset because she doesn't understand what he means, and what's bugging him; she's upset that she can sense something's wrong but he won't tell her what it is. A look of surprise dons her face as she realizes that she may have just figured out what he's talking about. She stands up, placing her hands on her hips, and looks down at him suspiciously. "What the heck are you talking about?" He's surprised now too, because he's never seen her this irritated. "Uchiha Shisui," she scolds, and he knows the situation must be bad if she's using his full name, "is this your way of breaking up with me?"
He nearly chokes on his ramen. "What? No! Are you crazy?" Using his teleportation technique, he appears suddenly and embraces her tightly from behind. "Why would I want to do that?"
She slumps backwards, leaning into him. "Then what?" She sighs. "What is it that's bothering you?"
"Nothing," he assures her, "I was just doing some thinking…"
She scowls. He still isn't telling her everything. "About…?"
He sets his chin on her shoulder, exhaling deeply. "About whether what we're doing is right…if what we're fighting for as shinobi is right…"
She takes his hand and leads him to a seat on the couch, where he promptly sits and she promptly snuggles against him again. She stretches out her hand and takes a grape from the fruit bowl on the coffee table, popping it casually in her mouth. "What's got you doubting it?"
"I was on a mission last week, with Kakashi actually," she looks up, clearly stunned. She had not been aware that they were ever mission partners. He continues, unfazed by her staring. "And he of course got me thinking of Obito," her eyes soften, "which of course got me thinking about the war and the point of all of it," her eyes harden, "and I realized that it really didn't have a point. What we're doing out there, killing those other shinobi from Earth Country, it's just like killing ourselves."
She sports the same confused look for him, one last time. "I don't understand."
He smiles and ruffles her hair affectionately before continuing, "Well, I mean, I realized that we're all the same. They're fighting us because our beliefs go against theirs, and we're fighting them because their beliefs go against ours. We're all just fighting for what we believe in…or at least, what our village believes in. It's just stupid to kill each other when we're the exact same. It's stupid because we'd prosper more with peace; I wonder if our villages know that."
She laughs at his last sentence, joking, "Been reading those conspiracy theory books again, have you?" The laughter dies down quickly enough when she realizes that he is completely serious. "Oh," she flushes, embarrassed, "you're serious…I'm sorry…"
He smiles slightly and pauses, furrowing his eyebrows thoughtfully. "Maybe that's their aim…maybe this war is just a way for villages to cleanse themselves of clans or shinobi who are posing a threat or who they don't like very much…maybe nothing is accidental."
There is no more trace of amusement on her face; she looks up at him, horrified. "Shisui, what are you saying? That the village is killing off its own purposely?"
"I don't know…maybe…maybe that's what missions and ANBU are for. Konoha can use them to get rid of the pesky weeds in its garden. Maybe missions aren't assigned just by skill level, and then nothing's random. The missions goers are selected based upon their usefulness and threat level to the government…maybe all our governments are in cahoots…maybe not even Obito's death was accidental…"
"Shut up! Shut up right now!" She screams, startling him out of his musings. "How can you say that Obito's death wasn't an accident? Do you think Konoha would just kill him? Do you think that I would just let him die? Do you?!" She's crying now, and he feels guilty, because perhaps he has taken his suggestions a little too far. He cautiously approaches her, and reaches out a hand to her shoulder but she swats it back to his side angrily, her head down, her face hidden by her hair. "Please don't talk about things like this anymore…"
His head is down now too, and she wonders if maybe she's being a little too harsh with him. Before she can apologize however, he reaches out a lean arm and pulls her against him, his hand atop her head. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, and then laughs, "I know how it sounds…I must be going crazy. I won't bring it up again, I promise…"
Rin brightens up considerably at his statement, though he still sees the hurt look in her eyes and spends his free time that night hating himself for it. They end up just lazing around her apartment; he watches her wash the dishes, she watches him pick out a movie from her TV cabinet, and then somehow night turns to morning because the movie was really bad and they were just so tired that they fell asleep, with Shisui curled up like a kitten in her lap. Come morning, he wakes up first and prepares breakfast, all the while unable to shake the uneasy feeling that maybe he's right with all he said last night, even if she doesn't like it. If that's the case, he's worried; the Uchiha clan has never much been in the Hokage's favour, and he's one of the strongest in his clan, no doubt a large threat.
Rin wakes up half an hour later to the sound of a sizzling pan and humming noises. She's pads over to the kitchen and giggles at the sight of Shisui dressed in her favourite purple flower apron, making scrambled eggs as he hums an upbeat tune. "Good morning," she mumbles, wrapping her arms around him, and he turns to her in surprise, nearly dropping the pan he's holding.
"Good morning," he smiles back, but she notices that the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. She falters; he must still be thinking back about last night.
"About last night…" she starts, forming her apology in her mind.
"No worries, you don't have to believe me…I know it sounds crazy," he smiles at her again, albeit nervously.
Rin gives a nod, feeling just as uneasy as he, and resolves to just let the whole thing pass and forget about it. After all, even he acknowledges that the idea is crazy. For now, she's content just to let the subject slide and continue being a non-believer.
After a couple of months pass however, she notices that he's growing increasingly tense, and he gets more and more affectionate every time before he leaves on a mission or leaves to go back to his clan's compound. Thinking that she's reading too much into things – after all, she knows of the pressure he has to settle down now, and that's probably all he's stressing about – she doesn't ask question him about what's wrong, and she doesn't even think much of it when he starts insisting that he no longer spend the night at her place because it wouldn't be safe for her. True to his word, he never does bring up the conspiracy conversation they had, although she senses that he is giving her small hints every time. She chooses to ignore them, still thinking them insane.
Six months earlier, he tells her his theory.
Six months later, she'll regret not having believed him sooner.