Disclaimer: It would be pretty cool to own CSI, but I unfortunately do not.
a/n: I'm actually a huge GSR shipper, but I thought it would be interesting to write something different. The part in italics is a flashback.
Shift was almost over. I was faced with the realisation that I wasn't going to see her a single woman again. Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom were getting married. I was never sure what she saw in him. But I was probably just bias because I wanted her to be mine.
"Sara?" I asked breathlessly, almost hoping that she wouldn't hear me because once I'd said it there was no going back. Both of us would have to live with this…thing above our heads, affecting our job, our lives forever.
"Hmm?" she responded, her mind on something else, probably Grissom.
"Do you…do you ever think about that night?"
I was half expecting her to turn around with a smile on her face and ask "What night, Nicky?" then I could pretend I meant something totally different and she would maybe laugh and go off to be with Grissom, thinking nothing of what I said.
But from the way her expression changed dramatically I knew she was under no illusion of what I was talking about. She appeared shocked, perhaps even angry. I guess both of us had agreed never to mention that awful night. But I'd never told her that for me, it wasn't awful at all…
"Well done Sara", I congratulated her. Our case had gone well. She was sitting still in the locker room, apparently distracted by something the way she always was.
"We worked together on this one", she answered modestly. It was probably just me but I thought I sensed a flirtatious hint in her voice, like she was asking me to respond with more than just sweet talk.
I stepped into the room to get changed, watching her as I removed my shirt to see if she stared back but she barely looked at me. I think even then she was in love with our supervisor. Yet she didn't move away when I sat down on the bench beside her. I remember I had wanted to tell her how I felt that night. I never did have that much courage. If it had come to it, she would have picked Grissom over me anyway. At least he eventually had the guts to admit his feelings to her.
But that night…just me and her, it felt special and different from any normal day at work. I don't know what came over me; at least that's what I told her afterwards. Maybe she didn't see it coming when I leaned in and kissed her. And maybe I was imagining it, I probably was, but I'm sure she kissed me back like she meant it, like she could really love me the way she loved Grissom. But of course, she didn't.
Sara stayed silent for a long time. I regretted saying anything in the first place because she really did love Grissom, and I had known that almost as long as she had.
At last she mumbled something about how she was engaged and got up to leave, still not looking at me as she left the room. I thought about following her, but realised that it would be pointless. I knew she was going to Grissom's office. The situation was worst than I had expected. But what had I really expected, for her to just drop everything and run off with me? Perhaps I had made a huge mistake. But at least tomorrow, when she married Grissom and I looked on like I was real happy for them the way you're supposed to be, she would know the truth: that I never stopped thinking about that one night…