The Monster That Hides in the Glass
He turned away; his mind and his heart couldn't bear it anymore. He was a failure, an unwanted disappointment.
A monster.
He still remembered when he was but a child. A time when he had been innocent and ignorant of the horrible truth that now hung over his head heavier than a death sentence. He could recall all the times he and his brother had frolicked in the extensive and lavish grounds of the palace, not a care in the world that could bring them down.
Fading.
But Time had different plans. They grew up and things slowly began to change between them. His beloved brother started drifting away, spending more and more time with his new friends, playing with them, talking to them, fighting with them, and going on exciting adventures with them. While he remained in the shadows, Thor spent all his time with them…
Always them. Never him.
Years passed and Thor's travels became grander and much more dangerous. His glorious battles quickly became the talk of the Aesir court. He became admired, even more than he already was; loved and practically worshiped. Odin's eye glowed with pride every time he looked at Thor.
Forgotten.
Slowly, ever so slowly, he began to drift away. He was no longer Thor's number one priority. Odin only ever spoke to him in order to dole out punishment for his numerous pranks and for things he wasn't even responsible for, not that they'd ever believe him.
Unwanted.
Unaware, descending into madness. He didn't want to; Loki didn't mean to become this power hungry creature full of hate and hell bent on destruction. He had only wanted to prove that he was worthy. Worthy of bearing the name Odinson, even his heritage deemed it Laufeyson. Worthy of being considered Thor's brother, even if their blood weren't the same. Worthy of ruling Asgard besides the blonde God of Thunder. But he was unsuccessful.
Failure.
He'd let go of the staff after Thor destroyed the Bifrost. He felt so full of self-hatred and the deeply disappointed look that danced upon his fa…no, in Odin's eye just made it that much more unbearable to his already cracked psyche. So he loosened his grip and fell into the unknown black sea of the cosmos. He hadn't meant to survive.
He had wanted to die.
Everything that happened after his fall was a blur in his usually sharp mind. A few things stood out, though. He remembered pain, inexplicable, excruciating pain. He remembered staring into Thor's cerulean eyes and stabbing him, the wicked metal piercing through his armor. He remembered spitting out the word "sentiment" as if it were the vilest venom and he remembered the devastating anguish that overwhelmed his whole being and the crystalline tear that escaped his mask.
Controlled.
There wasn't anything he could say in his defense. Actually, there was. But that wouldn't have made a difference; he was notorious for his lies, after all. He had faced the scorn and ire of the Aesir, he'd been humiliated and punished by them, completely powerless to protect himself from them and their loving attention.
Scorned.
And here he stood, in this room. Empty, except for him. The mirrors lining the walls serving as a reminder of what he was, the monster children feared hid under their beds, waiting for the right moment to kill them. No matter how much he tried to summon his magic in order to change back, he couldn't do so; not even a faint trickle, the draining runes that surrounded the structure made sure of that.
Powerless.
He couldn't breathe, the anguish and hatred that were clawing at his heart made it impossible. He was drowning, drowning in the sea of hate that threatened to consume him whole. It was too much! He couldn't stand to live like this anymore! This wasn't even living, it was a miserable existence. With a strangled scream, he ran at the mirrors, the glass breaking under his strength and the shards burrowing deep into his blue skin. Loki smiled as rivulets of blood ran down his tainted body, showing on the outside what a hideous creature he was. He continued to grin even as black spots began to appear in his vision, even as he fell to his knees, the blood loss making him weak. His lips were turned up in an earnest smile even as his last breath left his body. Finally, he was free.
Good bye.
A/N: Well, that was depressing. Loki was most like OOC, but it worked well in my mind. This is a bit of a character study, except for the part when he dies, there had to be something going on for me to be satisfied. One thing: THE SARCASM IN SOME PHRASES BETTER NOT BE LOST ON YOU. Also, this was inspired by another story whose name I can't remember
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