Title: "A Nippy Situation"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R due to adult reference
Summary: He had needs that only she could fulfill!
Warnings: Implied Het
Disclaimer: Salem Saberhagen; Zelda, Hilda, and Sabrina Spellman; Drell; and Sabrina the Teenage Witch are © & TM their respective owners, not the author, and are used without permission. Everything else is © & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

He whispered in her ear, his raven-tressed hair tickling the delicate curve of her fragile neck. He pressed down on her breasts as he positioned himself above her and called to her in a voice, ever increasing in demand. He rubbed his face against hers, then followed that maneuver up with running the length of his body against hers.

Her continued refusal to budge caused him to call out. Finally, he dug his nails into her tender flesh. He yowled for her, and still she slept on. His emerald eyes flashed. She had to wake up: he had needs that only she could fulfill! In desperation, he lowered his head and nipped her.

Hilda sat up so fast that Salem fell off of her. He rolled off of the bed and only kept himself from falling to the floor by digging his claws into her bedsheets. Hilda glared at him accusingly from where she sat, clutching her camisole together to her chest as though he had tried to ravish her. As if he'd ever want a piece of that again! "You told me you'd never nip me again!"

He pulled himself back onto the bed and washed a single, ebony paw before deigning to answer her. Even then, he looked at her as though she was a smudge on his life which indeed she was. "I have needs, Hilda, needs that you are required to meet."

"I haven't cared about your needs in over two hundred years! Why should I start now?"

"Zelda and Sabrina are off on that school trip," he reminded her as though he were speaking to an especially dim-witted child. "I can not zap breakfast in for myself, and the Council -- insufferable fools that they are! -- charged you with my care-taking. Therefore, you must prepare a feast of the culinary arts of bacon and sausage to meet my needs. Come along." He hopped down from the bed and stalked over to the door.

Hilda rose with fury fanning her face and her finger twitching and already raised. Salem paused to look back at her over one slender shoulder. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Give me one good reason why not, cat."

"I shall give you two. I still have connections in this grand world of ours, Hilda, not that I should have to remind you, given our unfortunate past together. At this very moment in time, I have two letters waiting to be sent off; the only thing that will stop them from being mailed in the next half hour is a complimentary note of my satisfaction with the breakfast you prepare for me."

"I'm quaking -- "

"You should be. The first is a note to the Council, alerting them, with video proof, of how you and your family have been failing miserably in my care-taking."

"And I should believe you because . . . ?"

His eyes solemnly met hers. "The second is a love note from you to Drell . . . " Her mouth fell open, and steam poured out of her ears. " . . . inviting him to come nip you."

Hilda glared at him, every inch of her flesh turning a furious red. Her mouth opened and closed several times with no sound coming out. Finally, she slowly blinked, and then she found her voice at last. "Do you want eggs with that?"

Salem licked his furry lips, and satisfaction gleamed in his emerald eyes. "Yes. Two. Sunny side up." He bolted for the kitchen, his head and tail held high and proud. It was going to be a beautiful day!

The End