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You feel really damn good right now.
And thirty seconds ago.
And thirty minutes ago.
You think that graduation sex is totally up there in the top five of best sex you've ever had. Maybe top three. You just don't think you can beat the first time with her or those two times you two did it in the bathroom during Nationals last year.
What you don't think about is the plethora of attached strings as to why. You don't think about how there's a sense of urgency in Brittany's kisses, of roughness with her touches, of inevitability to the separation after you come back down from your high.
You remind yourself that this is a happy occasion; so you keep the smile in your eyes when you look up at her and she's smiling back.
She clasps her hands around you and pulls you on top of her, one of her thumbs gently gliding up and down your back. You don't hesitate to bring yourself closer as you randomly kiss from the top of her breast, past her clavicle, up to the spot behind her ear.
"You look really good in red, Santana," she says to you. "Did I ever tell you that?"
"Maybe," you say back distractedly, your attention solely connecting your lips to her smooth skin. "I'm not sure. You usually just tell me I look good naked."
"Well, yeah. Because you do."
You finally bring yourself to look at her before your kisses make their way up to the corner of her lips as thanks. As you pull away, you notice that she's staring at the curtain of red draped over your computer chair. You bite your lip, unsure of what to say. Even though you know Brittany better than anyone, there are just some things that you don't know how to completely handle, however much you fake it.
"Hey," you say, placing a finger on her chin and pulling her to face you. She offers a sad grin and doesn't meet your gaze. "Britt."
"How did it feel?" she asks, bringing her eyes to finally, finally meet your gaze.
There are a few things you planned for after realizing Brittany's not graduating with you. You planned out what to tell her that you – the two of you – are going to do: that she's going to take classes in the summer and you'll be there tutoring her in all of her classes; that you will stay in Lima and wait for her; that you will take community classes to save up on some money and get college credit for those general education courses. You've even gone so far as to prepare a crayon-drawn chart of the plans that you have together.
But you didn't expect that.
You scrunch your confusion and are about to ask for some clarification when she points her head at your graduation robe.
"How did wearing that feel? Walking across that stage and accepting that diploma, shaking Mrs. Schuester's hand, just standing with the rest of our friends."
"Brittany-"
"I bet it was awesome."
You sigh because she's so brave and you love her so much and this is all so hard. So you kiss her again before you open your mouth.
"Yeah, it was really, really awesome. It felt like," you say, trying to come up with a good answer. As you contemplate your response, you can see the goose bumps that appear when you slowly, softly, slide your hand up and down her arm. "It's almost like that feeling when you get off that one roller coaster you were so afraid of riding in the first place."
"That sounds awesome," she says, her voice suddenly sounding hoarse.
"But you're going to experience it sooner than you think! I promise, Britt. We're going to do this together, and you will graduate and feel the way I felt."
Brittany's silent, just biting her lip. You wait and watch to see what she does. Finally, she raises a fist before slowly extending her pinky out for you to take.
With a giant smile, you quickly take it and your pinkies link. She leans down and you meet her halfway, your lips meeting just above your intertwined fingers. Your kiss deepens and it's only when the two of you break for air that the idea comes to you.
You excitedly jump out of bed and pull your duvet just to wrap around you, tucking it together as a makeshift dress.
"Where are you going?" she asks, but you simply wave your hand and tell her to wait and see. So as she patiently waits and sees, you gather several things from around your room and pile them on your chair. When you think you have everything, you ask her to get up. She cocks her head, confused and curious, but she trusts you so she raises from the bed and softly pads her naked self to you.
"Okay, Britt. Even though graduation is only a year away," you say as you gently pull your graduation robe from the pile on your chair and hold it open for her, "it doesn't hurt to try and see what you get to look forward to."
She hesitates for a moment so you shake the robe, urging her to put it on. When she does, she smiles at you – grateful and lovely – that you promise to yourself, more than to her, that you will do everything that in your power to give her the world. You pass your cap for her to put on. When she asks you if it looks okay, you nod up at her telling her she looks good in red. She playfully punches you in the arm.
"Hang on," you say, moving the tassel to her right side. Her brows furrow, but you wave her off. "You'll see."
You back away as she stands in the middle of your room, dressed in your graduation robes, offering you the biggest smile possible. You pick up the school paper reporting on the Glee club's Nationals win and roll it like a diploma.
"Back up, babe. So you have room to walk," you say and she laughs, listening to your orders.
You clear your throat. "And now we're going to read the names of our graduates-oh wait!"
"What's wrong?"
"Wait, something's missing."
You head to your closet and rummage through your things until you find what you're looking for. When you do, you take the few steps in front of her and drape a yellow scarf around her neck.
"What is this?"
"It's the golden sash, for when you're valedictorian." Before your hands let go of the yellow scarf, she holds them in place and pulls you close and leaving a soft kiss on your lips. When you two part, you speak up. "Okay, let's do this right." You return back to your spot on the other side of the room and hold the rolled up newspaper, her diploma, and start over.
"Ahem! And now, we're going to read the names of our graduates." The two of you are staring at each other before you mouth to her, "ready?"
She nods and you can see her stand taller.
"Brittany Susan Pierce!"
You're completely mesmerized as you watch her take each step closer to you and waving to imaginary audiences on either side of her. When she stops in front of you, you hold out your right hand for her to take. Without dropping her gaze from you, she shakes your hand and feels for the paper in the other hand.
She's smiling at you, tears at the corner of her eyes. You tip toe so you can kiss her. "Congratulations, Britt."
"Thank you," she whispers back. "I never could have done it without you."
You take that as your personal vow to be there for her for the next chapter of your lives.
And then you kiss her again.