It's too late to apologize

by cardcaptor eternity

Why does it have to be this way' she cried silently. 'Why me? Why do I feel alone in this? I don't want to do this' Ino falls deeper and deeper into depression, while her friends stand by doing nothing. Are they really your friends?

Ino stared at her hands as she sat in front of her vanity mirror. She sighed depressedly, then slowly fell forward until her head rested on the desk in front of her. 'Why does it have to be this way?' she cried silently. 'Why me? Why do I feel alone in this?' For the past few hours, Ino had been planning this. She had letters written out, bills paid, room cleaned. 'But why' she wept bitterly. 'I don't want to do this!'

--------------------------------------6 months earlier--------------------------------

It was just any normal day for Ino, just like Hinata's or Sakura's. She went on a mission, filled out a report, and then went to dinner with her team. They were just eating, as usual. But this time, it felt a little different. Maybe it was because they were getting too comfortable. Maybe it was really Ino's fault. She didn't know.

"Geez, Ino, stop eating so much. You're just like you're namesake, the PIG".

"Shutup, Shikamaru!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just watch what you eat."

-I'm holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say
But I just can't make a sound-

-------------------------------------3 months later-----------------------------------

Ino hadn't really noticed, up until now. She hadn't really noticed the comments Shikamaru would make as she ate, or the glances Sakura would send her way when they got weighed.

"Geez, Ino, slow down!"

"Wow Ino, you really look like you're pregnant".

'Maybe I really am getting fat' Ino mused to herself. 'I'll run home after dinner to work it off''.

As she jogged to her house, comments from the past 3 months began to surface in her mind. 'Geez, Ino, you're so slow!' 'Maybe if you didn't eat so much…' 'Pig! Put down that cake!' Ino groaned to herself as she neared her house.

'They're all right'. She thought. 'I am a fat, lazy, disgusting, PIG!' Little did Ino know, that as she thought these words, she was condemning herself. Sticks and stones may break her bones, but words will be her ruin.

Over the next few weeks, Ino became just what she thought she was. She stopped washing her hair, then herself. At first she didn't think much of it. 'I'm just in a slump' she thought. 'I'll get over it, then be disgusted with myself for being so gross'. Soon everyone began noticing.

"Ino, I know you know better than that", said her mom. "Why must I tell you to wash your hair?"

"Gosh Ino, you smell funky! Go wash your feet!"

It wasn't until one day, several weeks later, when Ino finally realized she was in a rut. 'I hate my life', she thought sadly. 'I don't like this anymore'. Everything they say to me, they always put me down. I stink. Literally. My stomach bounces when I walk. Why doesn't anyone…why doesn't anyone HELP ME anyone help me anyone help me!?!?

-I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)-

Two weeks had passed, without any avail. Ino tried, she really did. But by continuously putting herself down, and no one to tell her otherwise, she couldn't. She wanted to shower, but it seemed more of an inconvenience now. And washing her hair was such a drag!! (Sorry Shikamaru)

Sadly, and eventually, Ino learned to live with this life. She thought she had it good. She thought she could pull out of her depression whenever she wanted to.

One day, Ino is sitting with Sakura. A girl she thought was her friend. 'Gosh Ino, you pig!' 'You should just like, be bulimic or anorexic now!'

'No, I hate puking.' Ino replies with a forced laugh.

'Well then, anorexic it is!'

'But can you even stay away from food?'

-I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,
But I'm afraid-

Ino thought she would just brush them off, they way she normally did. But today, the words stung extra. For some reason, she just couldn't get them out of her brain. 'Fat…go be anorexic! Bulimia! You look pregnant!'

Ino ran home and cried. She cried until her throat burned, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were bright red. 'What have I become?' she wailed. 'I used to be happy. I had friends, a supporting family, and a healthy body. Now I'm miserable. Depressed. I'd do anything to change! Anything to get out of this world!'

'out of this world…out of this world!' With a click in her brain Ino sat up straight. Suddenly, she knew what to do. With tears dried & nowhere left to run, Ino felt trapped. Trapped and bound in that deep rut, never to escape.

-----------------------------back to the present---------------------------------

'I don't want to do this'. Newly formed tears worked their way silently down Ino's face. 'But this is the only way…there is no other way out.' Bravely choking back a sob, Ino raised the kunai. The bright sun glinted off the steel tip, illuminating the room in a beautiful iridescent rainbow. The last thing she saw was her mother's frantic face as she plunged the knife deep into her neck.

-You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around and say…-

Yamanaka-san wept bitterly as she realized her daughter would never again open those stunning blue eyes of hers. –It's too late to apologize…-

------------------------------------------END----------------------------------------------------

Hello everyone! You must be wondering right now what brought this on. First, I am going to start by saying please don't critique my story based on structure. That means, how long or short it is, whether it drags in the middle, etc. Because that is not the point of this story.

I really needed an outlet to let go of my pain today. I know a girl who claimed to my friend. But lately, she's been calling me fat in front of everyone. Saying I look pregnant (yes I'm a girl), 'when's the baby due?', etc.

I normally try to brush it off. But today, we were watching a video on anorexic girls. She kept poking fun & laughing at them, saying they needed to 'get a life'. That is completely UNCOOL. I was steadily growing angry inside. Then she began telling me how I needed to be anorexic or bulimic, and lose weight.

It all weighed heavily on me until lunchtime, when I finally broke down. I wanted to die, not eat lunch, go home, shrivel up, anything. It was a horrible feeling that I just couldn't shake, and I couldn't stop crying.

My friends, NO ONE should make you feel like that! I've now come to realize who my TRUE friends are, the ones who say, "I like you because you are awesome!" Size shouldn't matter!

The end of my story doesn't portray my values. Any more. Suicide isn't the answer! Please, don't be like Ino and take the easy way out. And don't be like Sakura, teasing someone about something that seems so little at the time. Apologize to them NOW, and he/she will appreciate it, I guarantee.

I'm sorry for this whole page of my sob story! You probably didn't' want to read all of that. But if you can prove to me you actually read it, I'll dedicate a smile to you on my profile. Thanks a bunches!!

-cardcaptor eternity

"Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth."

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Matthew 5:5, 6,8 New American Standard Bible.