A/N – Hey y'all, first of all, don't judge to harshly, this is my first fanfic. Second, don't hate me if my updating is sporadic, I'm in college and just doing this for fun. Fanfiction will always come after school! Please ignore the fact that, in the book, it clearly states that Watney leaves behind 41 potatoes!
I'm orbiting around Mars, acting as a satellite. I'm waiting for the rest of my crew to pick me up. I was supposed to have been on about 1/9 rations for the last six or seven months, and leave a potato or two buried in the Martian dirt to see if it would germinate, or just be preserved, but there had been a few minor problems. Perhaps I had just miscalculated, or some rations had been lost when the HAB's airlock had imploded. Whatever the case, I had caught it about three weeks ago, when I was bored and decided to take one last inventory check before I left. There had only been enough food to last for two more weeks. I didn't have the energy or body fat stored up to skip a full week of food, but I managed to work it out so I would have a total of about 330 calories a day, rather than the 400 as was originally planned. Even with these reductions, I still had to go the last few days without anything more than water. An hour before I launched, I had sat down and eaten the meal I had saved specifically so it could serve the purpose of being my last meal on mars before returning to the Hermes.
As I floated here, listening to the struggles of my crew mates, I could feel the effects of the sudden increase in gravitational forces. On mars, there is only 38% of the gravitational forces of earths. This means, that if I weighed 100 pounds on earth, I would only weigh 38 pounds on earth. Now, since I had been on mars for so long, my body was no longer accustomed to dealing with such strong gravity. Now, I was experiencing 12 times the force of earth's gravity, which equates to roughly thirty six times that which I was used to. This alone was torture, but combined with the fact that I hadn't been eating enough consistently, having literally been on starvation rations, the panic at possibly having to be left to die in this capsule floating alone through space, and the claustrophobia from being cramped in such small spaces for so long cause unpleasant feelings to rise through my body. My breath quickens, and I can hear the panic in my voice as I suggest that I tear a small hole through my suit to allow me to propel myself towards Commander Lewis. I don't know if the rest of the crew noticed my tension. The Commander said it was a bad idea.
I can hear her preparing to leave the Hermes over my comm. I know that my pod and the ship are still too far apart for it to matter if she exits the ship or not. I mentally prepare myself for what I know I will have to do. She exits the Hermes. I see her through the roof once, twice, as I spin out of control. My panic is rising, and my vision is beginning to darken. I know that I am not getting enough oxygen, and know that I don't have much longer. I say something through the comms, but looking back on it, I have no idea what I said, or even if it made sense. Someone says something, but my ears have been affected by the pressure, and I can no longer make anything out. I look around desperately, searching for something sharp enough to tear a hole in my suit. I see something, but I am not sure what it is. I know that this is my last chance, so I grab at it, blindly stabbing it into my hand. I feel the air leave my suit, and suddenly, I am spinning even faster, and even more out of control. I manage to get out of the MAV, and point myself in Commander Lewis's general direction. I can barely see, but her suit is bright against the dark expanse of space. I miss her, and, panicking, entangle myself in her tether. Somehow, she manages to get through to me the fact that I am safe, and unwraps me, all the while slowly reeling us back into the bay. I grip her arms, looking at her through my hazy vision. I cannot believe that I have lived long enough to actually see another human's face again. I space out for a minute, and suddenly, we are back on the Hermes.
There is a reunion, everyone crowding me, hugging me. On one hand, I am happy, for this means that I am no longer alone. However, I can't feel them. I wish I could, and immediately feel claustrophobic, tearing at my suit, trying to escape its confines. My fingers find no purchase, and simply slide off the helmet. Martinez grabs my wrists, moving my hands out of the way while Johannsen unlocks the airtight seal and removes my helmet. I feel as if I can breathe again, for a split second. As I gasp, there is a sharp pain in my side. Both of my sides. On the plus side, it is making my vision sharper, but I know that I won't be able to last much longer.
Beck notices my discomfort, and tells the others to give me some breathing room. I am grateful, and speak a little bit to my crew, saying how thankful I was to not be a pirate anymore, and how amazing it was to hear things again, without hallucinating, how I am forever in their debt for coming back for me. Martinez shoots a worried look over to the commander, but I think nothing of it. I am more concerned with not passing out. There is one more thing I have to do before I give in to the darkness. "Beth…. I touched the ChemCam. A lot." She looks confused. I'm pretty sure it came out as a jumbled mess of words, but I can clear that up later. For now however, I am going to give in and sleep restfully, something which I have not achieved in over a year and a half.