What's Done In the Dark
Author: Verita Parlata
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Derek/Izzie; mentions of Derek/Meredith, George/Izzie
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Grey's Anatomy. You don't want to know what I'd do if I did.
Premise: What's done in the dark… is a secret. A forbidden language written across time with the whispers of two unlikely lovers.
Notes: This is my first Grey's story. Likely to be told in three parts, the idea for this story came to me when I was trying to go to sleep. It stayed with me (keeping me awake until the wee hours of the morning) until I was forced to get up and write it. I really hate when stories do that. Anyway, despite the pairing, I'm not Meredith/MerDer bashing (though I can't stand either the character or the pairing), I'm just telling a story. (A story that not only kept me up half the night, but spawned a friggin' sequel in my dreams).
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Part I: Derek
Dr. Derek Shepherd smiled as he started to make his rounds. He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled for no reason, but found that he just couldn't stop himself. It was rare lately that a smile would grace his face at all, but today was different - it felt different. He felt different.
The ache in his heart was gone. Seemingly faded away like a cloud of smoke. His discontentment with life and love also edging away like the last remnants of night against the rising sun.
Derek couldn't remember a time when he felt this way. So free and alive, without feeling guilty and without feeling like part of himself was locked away.
The neurosurgeon turned a corner in the surgical wing and saw her standing at the nurse's station reading a patient's chart. Long blonde hair tied up into a sloppy ponytail sat upon her head; blue surgical scrubs contrasting with her ivory skin; a dour expression upon her beautiful face. She was a walking contradiction. Beautiful, blonde, intelligent, radiant, dark and seductive. Isobel Stevens. The reason behind his happy mood.
Despite the amount of time he's known and worked with her (not to mention dating her roommate), Derek couldn't remember a time when he saw Izzie. Not in the literal sense, he saw her all the time, but in the symbolic sense. He'd never really looked at Izzie before; seeing her for the overwhelming vibrant woman she was. He'd never taken the time to talk to her and get to know her. Not until last night… when they commiserated over broken hearts.
Joe's was packed as usual. The Friday night crowd of sports fans, college students (and doctors and interns) mingled loudly. Derek pushed further inside, hell-bent on receiving the drink he desperately needed after his horrid day, and found an empty barstool. Moving swiftly to stake his claim, he accidentally bumped into the woman sitting in the next barstool.
"Sorry," he muttered, and was stunned to see that it was Izzie.
He blinked, cautiously staring at her. He'd never seen her look as stunningly breathtaking as she did right now. No make-up on her face, her blonde hair falling in soft curls down her back, her bright pink shirt highlighting the pink undertones of her flawless complexion. Even the sad look in her eyes couldn't lessen her beauty. Derek immediately found himself wanting to know what was wrong… and how he could make her feel better.
Izzie smiled at him when he sat down next to her. He turned his head when Joe approached him, but kept watching Izzie out of the corner of his eye. She'd returned to looking down at her drink when he ordered his, only making eye contact with him again when Joe walked away (and he looked at her first). He'd only seen her look so sad once - when her fiancé Denny died; and it was then that Derek realized for all of his working with Izzie and dating Meredith, he didn't think they'd had an actual conversation.
"Are you alright?" he asked her awkwardly. The blonde looked over to him and nodded with a smile that didn't quite seem friendly. Derek chuckled, realizing she felt awkward too. "Liar," he said softly, prompting her to look in his eyes with flash of anger in her own. "Come on, if you can't tell your roommate's ex-boyfriend, who happens to be your boss, who can you tell?" He gave her a charming grin that brightened his entire face.
When Izzie responded with a laugh (a real genuine laugh), Derek smiled a bit brighter.
"What?" he asked when her laughter died away. He found himself still smiling at her, wanting to know what funny thing turned her face a bright bashful red.
"Nothing," Izzie replied with a shake of her head. She sipped her drink before continuing. Derek did the same. "I just think that may have been the first time you've ever asked me how I felt."
The verity in her statement touched something deep inside Derek. He prided himself on being a 'people person', wanting to know his interns (now residents) and other colleagues the way he knew his patients. The fact that he often slept in the house Izzie lived in only served to make him feel worse.
"So," he began, brushing away his residual disappointment. "I think you should give me an answer. This being a special occasion and all." The charming smile was back, but Izzie wasn't quite a responsive this time.
"No, offense, Dr. Shepherd," she made a point of using his title to maintain some distance. "but you and I… aren't exactly friends. I don't think we've ever had a real conversation that didn't include Meredith, and again, no offense, but I really don't want to have one right now."
Ouch. Derek sipped his drink, tending the wounds she inflicted on his ego. For all his talk and hopes, he wasn't the 'people person' he wanted to be. Someone he considered a friend… didn't consider him one at all.
"We should change that," he said softly into his drink. He saw Izzie look at him out the corner of his eye, and turned to her with serious determination showing on his face.
"Change what?" the blonde asked slowly.
"You not considering me a friend," he answered back just as slowly.
A slow smile, equal parts amusement and curiosity, crept across Izzie's face. She laughed a little. "Why?"
"Because I think we could be great friends," Derek answered honestly, letting her see the flash of hurt in his eyes.
Izzie's resolve softened when she saw how much it meant to him. He genuinely wanted to be her friend, that much she was sure of. What she didn't know… was why.
The memory of their chance encounter last night faded away from Derek just a quickly as it came. He was still standing in the middle of the surgical floor staring at Izzie. He found himself walking towards her before he could stop himself.
He sidled up to the side of the nurse's station opposite where she was standing so that he was directly in her line of sight, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he stood there; patiently waiting until she looked up and saw him (his true intention all along). When she did, the soft smile that crossed her pink lips nearly stopped his heart.
She remembered, too.