False Pretences
The winter sun was cool against the window, casting a silvery light through the Venetian blinds. The bright lines fell across Blaine's bed and shimmered on the walls. He had lost track of how long he had been lying in his room, comforter creased and sheets crinkled. Over two hours, at least. His mind was reeling. Everything was still fresh in his memory, tender and brilliant. Kurt's hands pressed against Blaine's chest, the bite marks in the pillow. The bruise on Kurt's lower back. The smell of Kurt was lingering in the room, light and soapy. His waistcoat was still cast across Blaine's reading chair by the window and Blaine caught himself smiling. It had been forgotten in the morning amongst the chaste kisses and hastened exit before Blaine's parents returned from Chicago at half eight. Blaine breathed a laugh and for the briefest moment felt Kurt's lips on his again-
Blaine's recollections were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. Blaine pushed himself off his back, sitting up on the crumpled form of his bedding. Regarding the door for a moment, Blaine called out; 'Come in.' The door opened to reveal Sebastian Smythe, all teeth and blue in a crisp shirt and jeans. Puzzled, Blaine rose from the bed and tugged at his loose hair self-consciously. He did not miss the way Sebastian closed the door behind him.
'Sebastian? Uh, how did you-?'
'You're father invited me in, told me you were up here,' Sebastian said fluidly, the words easy and warm. The way his blue eyes shifted in the pale light of the room made Blaine's stomach twist. He unfurled his pastel lips to reveal another brilliant smile, making Blaine's heart skip a beat. 'You do know it's gone noon, right? Would've thought the "great Blaine Anderson" would've been up and breaking hearts by now.'
Blaine laughed half-heartedly. The sudden presence of Sebastian Smythe is his bedroom was overwhelming, smothering. Blaine bent down to pick up his striped sweater from the night before and placed it slowly on the laundry basket. He was acutely aware of Sebastian's eyes on him and it was making his stomach flip nervously. He turned back and leant against the laundry basket, trying to keep the distance between them.
'Well, I had a long night. Slept in,' Blaine offered in a friendly tone, but he could tell Sebastian didn't believe him. For a moment, Blaine played with the thought of revealing that he had slept with Kurt the night before, but something held him back. He decided he'd prefer to keep that information private- despite a harsh, niggling voice in his head whispering that he should do otherwise. 'Anyway, what can I do for you? Need help with a solo for Monday or something?'
Sebastian laughed in a breathy way, his eyes flashing. 'No. Actually, I was wondering whether you'd care to join me for some lunch.' Sebastian must've seen the way Blaine's shoulder's sagged as he added; 'You know, just teach me some tricks. Warbler to Warbler.' The repetition of their first meeting did nothing to soothe the sudden weight in Blaine's chest.
'Uh, I don't think I can today,' Blaine replied slowly, all too aware that Sebastian was stepping across the bedroom towards him. The light of the new afternoon suddenly seemed too bright and warm on his back. 'Maybe tomorrow though? Myself and Kurt will be in Westerville anyway-'
At the mention of Kurt's name, Sebastian froze by Blaine's dresser. His smile twitched in a strange way, but in a second it was back. Looking away from Blaine, Sebastian seemed to be regarding himself in the mirror. Then Sebastian's deep eyes fell on the photo beside the black and white shot of Blaine's grandfather. A sunny day. Summer.Kurt. Blaine didn't miss the way the blue darkened. Raising a hand and skilfully running it over his styled hair, (in a way that reminded Blaine vividly of Kurt), Sebastian looked back at Blaine. Time seemed to speed up, because within moments, Sebastian was before Blaine, pinning him to the laundry basket and watching him with a strange emotion. Blaine could smell his cologne.
'You know, you should wear your hair like that more often,' Sebastian said smoothly, the words soft and suggestive. Blaine felt his heart quicken and his grip on the basket tighten. Sebastian twisted a loose curl between skilled fingers. 'Suits you.'
Blaine swallowed thickly. The fingers trailed down his face, across his cheeks and rested on his lips. Sebastian's hand felt blazing against his skin and Blaine felt his neck flush. He wanted Sebastian to stop. Wanted to push him away. But something stayed him. Burning and exhilarating, the feeling roared from within Blaine's chest. But Blaine's heart was pounding against it, hard and fast. Blaine raised his hands between them, brushing against the fabric of Sebastian's shirt.
'Sebastian, please,' Blaine breathed, humiliated by how small his voice sounded. Sebastian smiled, inclining his chin outwards, lips near. Blaine pushed suddenly; stepping away from Sebastian felt distinctly like diving into cold water. Turning around, Blaine tugged at his old Dalton t-shirt, unable to settle. But Sebastian followed, a hand snaking across Blaine's waist briefly. It was like fire, and Blaine jumped as though scalded. Sebastian laughed, walking away towards the dresser again. Blaine watched as his long fingers reached out, running along the frame of Kurt's photograph.
'It's sweet really,' Sebastian drawled, his back to Blaine. 'How devoted you are. But it doesn't last, Blaine. The romance of it all.' Blaine didn't miss the condescending tone and something cold settled in his stomach. 'Eventually, you grow up and look for something else. Someone else.'
'I have a boyfriend,' Blaine snapped suddenly, something deep in his chest spurring him on. Sebastian turned around and leant against the dresser, an eyebrow quirked.
'I told you,' he said in an amused tone. 'He doesn't need to kn-'
'Kurt is my boyfriend,' Blaine said, making the words as meaningful as possible. Sebastian's smile faltered. Something dark and cold hardened in his eyes and Blaine felt his bravado leave him. Sebastian pushed himself off the dresser in one sleek movement. He walked around, watching Blaine the whole time. He passed Blaine and brushed against his shoulder, leaving it burning.
'Why are you doing this, Blaine?' Sebastian asked, the question light but the words heavy. Blaine crossed him arms in a feeble attempt to hide the way his breathing had become drawn. Sebastian stepped behind Blaine, his words warm and slow against the back of Blaine's neck. 'You are never going to make Kurt happy. Not really, not properly. And when he goes to college, where does that leave you?'
Blaine shut his eyes, holding in the urge to cover his ears but feeling his heart splinter at the words. He tried to ignore it, but Sebastian's body was still searing against his own, whispering things against his skin. Kurt flashed bright and hurtfully in Blaine's mind. His heart clenched.
'You're the perfect teenage dream, Blaine,' Sebastian cooed, but Blaine shivered. 'But that's not what Kurt wants. That won't keep him happy. And it certainly won't keep him around. So why do this to yourself? Why wait for him to leave when you could just come with me now?'
Suddenly, Sebastian's lips were hot and electric on Blaine's neck. Blaine gasped as a heat coursed through him, igniting him. But it was familiar- known. Kurt's lips were on Blaine again, biting, wet. His china fingers were in Blaine's hair and his cool breath was on his cheek. The memory consumed him and Blaine shoved his arms behind him against Sebastian's weight. His felt his palms burn on the contact.
'Sebastian, stop!' Blaine half-shouted feverishly, bolting towards his reading chair and turning to face Sebastian. Sebastian looked almost statuesque, his arms folded behind his back and his eyes frozen. Blaine took a shaky breath. 'Kurt's my boyfriend. He's kind, and sweet. He's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He's beautiful and I can't- fuck.'
Blaine collapsed into the chair, burrowing his face into his hands. Kurt's waistcoat crumpled beside him. He was disgusting. Worse than that; he was cruel. Just the night before he had the boy of his dreams holding onto him like a lifeline. Blaine had whispered Kurt's name like it was a prayer, felt his heart pounding against a porcelain chest. He had mapped every inch of the boy's body and could recite it perfectly. But all of it- the rub of skin, the condensed "I love you"'s- was left forgotten next to Kurt's waistcoat. And for what? Sebastian's presence was all over him, washing Kurt off like paint.
'You need to leave,' Blaine said through his fingers. He heard Sebastian snort from above him. Blaine pushed against his face, trying to rid the sight of Sebastian's eyes, the feel of his skin. 'I mean it, you need to go. If Kurt ever-'
'You can't do anything that will make anything I said less true.'
'I said go,' Blaine rounded, standing up and facing Sebastian. With a delicate smile, Sebastian shook his head, taking the last few steps from Blaine like a tide coming in to shore. He flashed his teeth and Blaine felt the familiar jolt. Sebastian's hand found Blaines, his fingers smooth to touch. He moved downwards, taking Blaine with him. Blaine sank back into the red leather, watching turquoise oil shift on deep water. Sebastian knelt before him, his other hand resting hotly on Blaine's knee.
'As touching as your commitment to your ghostly friend is, you know you can't deny this,' Sebastian whispered against Blaine's lips. Blaine could taste the words and they were blistering hot on his tongue. Sebastian held Blaine's face again, leaving his cheek scorched. Blaine was distinctly aware of something brushing against his side, but he couldn't focus. Not with the way Sebastian was looking at him. 'I'm sure Kurt's a nice guy, but he doesn't excite you. He doesn't get under your skin, like I do.'
Blaine felt his heart crack. Sebastian was going to kiss him. Kurt's alabaster fingers were fading and the taste of his lips was gone. All Blaine could see, all Blaine could feel, was Sebastian's heat, blazing against him. Blaine wove his fingers into fabric. His heart crumbled from it's crack as the surety of what was about to happen consumed him. This was it. This was the moment where he would do it. This was when he was going to cheat on Kurt.
'No.'
Blaine had not realised he had spoken for a few moments. Sebastian's lips were hovering, waiting, but he pulled back to consider Blaine with an almost impatient curiosity. Blaine twisted his hand in Kurt's waistcoat, the cool, black cotton feeling like an anchor- saving Blaine from drowning. He let out a quivering breath, but when he spoke, the words were clear and razor sharp;
'I will not cheat on my boyfriend.'
Sebastian sighed heavily, a weight of emotion flooding from him and hitting Blaine in waves. His hand fell from Blaine's face and landed on his entwined fingers. Sebastian's cool eyes moved down, staring at Kurt's waistcoat that was gathered in Blaine's hand. Blaine tightened his grip, but Sebastian made no motion to take the garment away. Instead, his mouth curled in an almost cruel smirk. He shook his head again and Blaine watched his eyes close in some form of amusement.
'A long night, huh? Heh, nothing like the first time. Bet your little girlfriend isn't too happy about forgetting her favourite blouse though.' Sebastian's tone was mocking and a new, furious emotion burst into being within Blaine. It pulled his heart together and pumped it like an engine. He was fuming and suddenly Blaine wanted nothing more than to lash out. Sebastian seemed to sense he had struck a nerve. His smile widened, but Blaine spoke first;
'Kurt's my boyfriend,' Blaine repeated, desperately wishing the word to mean something to the boy before him. Sebastian tightened his hold on Blaine's wrist, the surging emotion of the contact conflicting heavily with Blaine's anger. He leaned in close to Blaine again.
'Maybe that's your problem. You need a man, Blaine-'
'Kurt is a man,' Blaine retorted waspishly. Sebastian pulled back. Judging by his knotted eyebrows, Blaine's tone had surprised him. A seething pleasure was dimmed by a strange sense of loss as Sebastian withdrew his touch from Blaine. Blaine ignored the unsettling notion, willing his mind to remember Kurt. Blaine rose from the chair, causing Sebastian to stumble back onto his feet. He held tight to the waistcoat. 'Kurt's the most wonderful man. And I promised I'd meet him at three, so that gives you about now to get out.'
Sebastian studied Blaine for what felt like eternity. Blaine was twisted and bubbling inside. His heart was racing and a terrible guilt had wrapped itself around his lungs with tight tendrils, robbing him of breath. Sebastian gave a soft chuckle and made a quick movement forward. Blaine didn't quite see when, but the electricity that sparked from his cheek where Sebastian had just kissed him was surging the moment his lips made contact. Sebastian grazed his hand across Blaine's cheek where he had kissed him and Blaine felt like his heart would almost stop with the sheer shock. His breath caught and he shut his eyes tightly, refusing to look a Sebastian.
'I won't say it again,' Blaine whimpered, wishing with all his might that he had left with Kurt that morning. If Kurt ever found out, ever knew that Sebastian was here, just hours after- a familiar feeling of nausea swelled in Blaine's stomach. He opened his eyes and forced himself to look directly into Sebastian's. 'Go, now.'
'Alright, I'm leaving,' Sebastian said quietly with an air of someone humouring a child. He walked over to the door, the light from the window crossing over his back in bars. Halfway through the door, Sebastian stopped. He looked over his shoulder, his eyes meeting Blaine's. 'But don't think for one minute that this isn't what you want. You can sit here and cling to his shirt all day if you want, but it won't make anything between us any less real. Kurt's great, I'm sure. And you're relationship, it's fine. But it's not enough. It's nothing like what we could have. And in the end, you're just going to break his heart.'
Blaine could barely hear him over the pounding in his hears, but when the words hit, he felt his entire core shake. Sebastian left the room, his presence lingering in cologne and a quivering breath. Blaine stared at the door for a long time, Kurt's waistcoat warm in his hands. Shaking, he pulled it to his chest and pressed it close, hugging it tightly. He breathed Kurt in, the scent too pale against the overwhelming impression Sebastian had left in the room. Blaine sank backwards into the chair once more, the leather cool to touch. Burying his face into his clothed-hands, Blaine took a deep breath.
It wasn't true. He wasn't going to break Kurt's heart. Sebastian was just trying to scare him. Setting traps, waiting for Blaine to fall. Blaine loved Kurt. He did, he really did. But something unwanted and unfamiliar was sparking in the back of Blaine's mind. A reminder of how it felt to be touched by Sebastian, to taste his breath and feel his lips. Blaine's stomach dropped in a swooping way. Was this really the kind of person he was? The kind of man he was going to be? Mere hours after making love with the boy he loved, Blaine would have someone else in his room. Someone else holding his face and teasing him? Guilt and disgust mingled with the strange emotion Blaine had come to associate with Sebastian. It had to stop. This had to be the last time. It would be the last time.
Stretching across the bed, Blaine took his phone from the bedside-table. Holding down the number two key for speed dial, Blaine counted the seconds ticking past as the tone chimed. His phone held to his ear, Blaine smelled Kurt's magnolia moisturiser on his skin and couldn't stop his eyes beginning to water. Sebastian could still have had his hands on Blaine for the amount of guilt he was feeling.
'Hey,' Kurt answered, the delicacy of his voice familiar and filling Blaine like water in a tank. Blaine sighed shakily down the phone. Blaine could hear the smile of Kurt's lips through the phone, and his heart contorted painfully in his chest. 'How're you feeling?'
'I'm fine,' Blaine replied, his voice sounding surprisingly calm. 'Tired,' he added honestly.
'Well, at least that's all you're dealing with. I'm still stiff and sore,' Kurt responded, laughter in his voice and a soft emotion. Blaine was lost for words for a moment, memories of Kurt's movements and sounds from last night almost suffocating him. Sebastian flared guiltily in his mind. 'Anyway, to what do I owe the treat of being called? You okay?'
'Kurt, there's something I have to tell you.' The words were quiet and determined. Blaine heard Kurt's hesitation as he stammered, but Blaine continued before he could interrupt. 'Kurt, this morning, after you left...'
'Blaine, what is it? Are you alright?'
Are you alright?
The question brought last night to the front of Blaine's mind with a violent ferocity. Sebastian was wiped from his minds eye and suddenly all he could think about was the Kurt. The way Kurt knew him, the way Kurt touched him. It was intoxicating, in a way only Kurt could be. Sebastian was wrong. He wasn't going to break Kurt's heart, and Kurt did want him. Blaine felt his heart swell, pressing uncomfortably against his deep guilt.
'Just- after you left, I realised that I didn't want to be with anyone else. Ever. I missed you the second you were gone,' Blaine said, the words completely honest but Blaine still felt slightly at loss with them. 'And, I can't believe how lucky I am to have you. Last night was the most perfect night, and- and thank you.'
Coward.
'For what?' Kurt's voice, tantalising and sweet.
'For being with me, loving me.'
'You never have to thank me for that, and you know that,' Kurt whispered down the phone. Blaine felt his eyes water again, moisture weighing his eyelashes. Blaine tried to picture Kurt's glasz eyes; shifting like sunlight between green and grey. But a deep blue was mixing with the colours and Blaine found himself at loss of what to say once again. Blaine became distantly aware that Kurt was speaking again. 'I love you, Blaine. Very much.'
'I love you, too, Kurt,' Blaine let out in a breath, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt. Hands shaking, he whispered a goodbye to Kurt and a promise to see him later and soon he was alone again in his room.
Blaine watched the greens shift in shadows on the walls, trying to forget the memory of Sebastian standing before him. If Kurt ever found out, it would crush him. He'd never trust Blaine again. And Blaine- he couldn't lose that. He couldn't lost that from Kurt. Determined, Blaine opened a new message on his phone and quickly typed. If he didn't do this now, then he never would.
Your message: 95/160 [01]
What happened today can't happen again. Don't come here anymore.
To:
Sebastian Smythe+
Blaine didn't dare pause before sending it. A weird sense of relief washed over him, but Blaine knew he'd have to tell Kurt eventually. Just not now. Not when everything between them was going so well, was coming together so perfectly. And definitely not on the phone. When Sebastian didn't reply, Blaine wasn't sure if he was relieved or not by this. But no matter how hard he tried to think of Kurt, and how beautiful he would look when he saw him, Sebastian's cologne still lingered on his shirt and his touch still burned on his cheek.
Slowly, Blaine started getting ready to meet Kurt in the Lima Bean. After a quick shower and combing his hair back with gel, Blaine regarded himself in the mirror. He had small lines under his eyes, and his brown iris' were still tinted red from crying, but that would fade by the time he made it to Lima. Blaine glanced down at the photo of Kurt and the feeling of guilty nausea returned. He would tell Kurt, he promised himself. But the more he thought of doing so, the less he wanted to do so today. Blaine had done nothing wrong, he had pushed Sebastian away, told him to leave. But the tingling skin that Sebastian had touched betrayed this wondrous thought and brought the shame back.
Deciding finally that it was best not to tell Kurt, Blaine grabbed his favourite red cardigan and headed for the door. But something stalled him. Pausing, Blaine turned around and took off his cardigan, casting to the bed. Picking up Kurt's waistcoat, Blaine wrapped it around himself and buttoned it up over his black t-shirt. It was a little too long for him, and the tiniest bit too narrow, but it was known and smelled of Kurt. Blaine stood for a few moments, feeling Kurt's clothes against him. His heart pounded steadily, and his stomach churned guiltily.
'I love you, Kurt,' Blaine whispered to the room. He tucked the words carefully into his pocket before turning to go once more. Sebastian's voice still echoed in Blaine's head, but Blaine felt his confession beat beside his heart and he felt somewhat stronger.
But however hard he tried to ignore it, he knew that once had had kissed Kurt goodbye and arrived home once more, Sebastian's warning would be sitting on the bed, waiting for him;
You are never going to make Kurt happy... And in the end, you're just going to break his heart.
I've never tried to write 'reluctant seduction' before, so I hope it wasn't too terrible. I would love to hear your constructive criticism and your opinions of my portrayal of Sebastian. I like to think I caught his patient, manipulative nature- but I only had one episode to go on so it may not be great. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it regardless!