"Please tell us again 'bout the bears" Tom begged as he inched forwards on his knees to where his granddad was sitting in his armchair.
"No, not the bears" Tom's older brother Matthew said, "Tell the one about the fight in the tower and how you lost your fingers, the one with the knife, that ones the best". He finished, doing karate chop actions with his hands.
"Matthew, be careful of the lamp" his mother warned him.
Matthew took no notice and continued to slice his arms through the air.
"Please granddad" Tom begged, bouncing up and down on his knees, "The one about the bears".
Will opened his mouth to speak, but his daughter cut him off.
"Okay guys, I think poor granddads had enough" their mother said getting to her feet, "You two turn the telly on now and watch quietly as your granddad and I clear the plates".
Matthew did one last flying kick and sent Kirjava running for the cover of the kitchen where Will gently picked her up and placed her on the counter.
"Matt" his mother chided, "Sit down now".
And Matthew did as he was told.
Jane, their mother was picking up the plates from the small table in the lounge. For a moment she glanced out the window. Outside in the warm June sunshine she could see other residents tending to the garden, watering their flowers and tomato plants. She gave a heavy sigh.
"You know dad-" she said as she entered the kitchen and placed the plates in the sink "-I was speaking to Mr Betteridge earlier, you know him?"
Will made a grunting sound as he picked up a dirty dish cloth to dry with.
"Well anyway," she continued, "he knows who you are, and he said he would be delighted if you could help him with the vegetables this summer. And it would be good for you too dad, to get outside more, to make some friends".
"I have enough friends" Will said frowning as he took another dish to dry.
"You have me and the boys" Jane said gently, "And we can't be here all the time".
"I have Kirjava"
"Yes, I know you do" she said glancing at the aging daemon. "You know dad, that cat's getting old now" she mused, "You've have had her for as long as I can remember, maybe its time to perhaps, let her rest".
If Will was outraged, and rightfully so, he didn't show it to his daughter. He remained silent and dried the dishes with a quiet determination.
"Anyway, so what do you say? About Mr Betteridge?" she asked eagerly.
"I'll speak with him" he told her, though he had anything but it mind.
"Oh, thank you dad" and she leant up on her toes to kiss his wrinkled cheek.
Will smiled, pushing her away with mock embarrassment.
"And, well, another thing" she said now turning back to the dishes.
"Hmm?"
"Your…stories" she said blushing slightly. "I love them dad you know I do, but the boys well-" she shot a glance towards the small living room "-they're getting older now, Matthew especially, and as entertaining as they are-"
"Jane" he said warningly, knowing what she was perhaps going to say.
"I just want a bit more structure in their lives"
"And my stories affect that?"
"Tom wants to grow up to be an explorer; he thinks that's what you are. Matthew is a bit older now, he knows they're not real, but Tom… Can't you just tell them about your time as a Teacher, or about when you did that science work with Dr what's-her-name, Dr Marone-"
"Dr Malone"
"Yes her. The boys love your stories, but they can't be explorers. The have to have proper jobs". She looked at him with what seemed to be pleading in her eyes. "I'm not asking a lot, just that, well, you stop telling them fairy tales."
Will looked down at his hands, so old, so wrinkled. Then up at his daughter's youthful face. Her eyes determined, just like his own. "If you want me to, then I will, of course, stop telling them" he sighed.
She smiled up at him and he forgot to be hurt.
"You know they used to drive mum insane" Jane said now confident on the subject.
"What did?" Will asked shocked
"Them stories of yours, you were always harping on about 'em. One world here, another there, Killing bears and fighting witches".
"I never killed a bear or fought a witch"
Jane smiled at him, "Of course you didn't dad" she winked.
Will rolled his dark eyes.
"So yeah, they near as drove mum insane" she confessed.
"I never knew that" he said solemnly.
"Yes, well she loved you. She didn't mind that you had a vivid imagination"
"I see".
With the dishes washed and dried they both turned back to the lounge where both boys were watching Spiderman on the TV.
"Come on then you two, we best be going" she turned to her father, "I have enjoyed breakfast dad, maybe if I get time we'll come over again next week."
"I look forward to it" Will smiled
"But if not-" she gave him a big hug and a tight squeeze and he knew that she wasn't planning on coming again next week. "-you chat to Mr Betteridge ok?"
"I'll try" he said.
"Good. Sorry we couldn't stay longer, but Matt's got karate practise and I'm taking Tom to scouts. He's going to learn how to sail a boat aren't you darling?"
"Yep" he said beaming up at Will, "Just like granddad did in the world of the dead".
Jane, for a moment looked awkward and laughed uneasily. Will, not being able to bear his daughters tenseness stepped in.
"I didn't sail a boat in the world of the dead" he told Tom. "You know that don't you".
Tom reached up for his granddad and Will happily lifted him up into a tight embrace, "I know granddad" Tom whispered too quiet for his mother to hear, "That other old geezer did, but he rowed it, not sailed it. I know that too".
"You're a very clever young lad tom" Will said, and after placing him back on the floor ruffled his hair with affection.
"And you Matthew are perhaps the strongest boy your age I have ever known"
Matthew also gave his granddad a hug and did another karate chop as he walked out of the door and into the hallway.
"I'll see you soon dad" Jane said kissing him on the cheek again.
"Not too long this time though eh?" Will asked, almost begged.
"No, of course not" she smiled and closed the door behind her.
Will sighed and walked over to the window. With his small flat now quiet Kirjava paced over to him. He bent down to pick her up and they both watched as his last remaining family walked away. Jane stopped at the gardens and to his horror began talking to Mr Betteridge. He knew at once it was regarding him, and not two seconds later they both turned around and waved at him in the window. Will forced a smile onto his face and reluctantly waved back.
"You know" Kirjava said watching their family, "I never knew that the stories affected Carol".
"Nor me" agreed Will, "I suppose I don't know that I'm telling them sometimes".
"No, and because they are such dear memories to us-" Kirjava began
"-We don't realise we are telling them all the time" Will finished.
"We didn't tell her all our tales though" his daemon said jumping from his arms and settling on the armchair.
"No we didn't"
"We never told her about Lyra"
"I promised Lyra that I wouldn't, we promised each other that if we got married…" he didn't finish, Kirjava knew the promise he had made as well as he did.
Instead she jumped off the chair and bound over to him, rubbing he soft back against his legs, "You remember what day it is don't you?" she asked.
"Of course" Will said, still gazing out of the window but seemingly not at anything in particular. After a moment or two he walked over to his old bookshelf and pulled out a thick grey volume. It was so old and worn that no one even looked at it anymore, it was subtle. The perfect place, he thought.
As he set the book on the table he carefully opened it, inside were not pages, but a space occupied by something wrapped in a black velvet cloth. He took it out gently and laid it on the table.
He had chosen the black velvet because that was what Lyra had used for her alethiometer. Slowly and carefully he unwrapped the cloth until he could see all the pieces of his once treasured Subtle Knife.
"It is still very beautiful" Kirjava said quietly.
"I know" he replied running his finger over the handle, he placed all the pieces in their rightful place until the shards or metal resembled something that once looked like a knife. Wondering if the tip was still sharp he picked it up and touched it, only gently, ever so slightly. It was. and it pricked his old finger making it bleed.
"You shouldn't have done that" Kirjava said, you know wounds from that knife take longer to heal. You know that better than anyone".
"I was just curious" Will said stubbornly, "I needed to know it was real. What with Jane and the boys, oh Kirjava they don't believe me. The greatest thing I ever did is reduced to a fairy tale, Lyra, a mere made-up story"
"You know that's not true"
"I know, I just wanted to see the knife though, feel it. Know that it was all real".
Kirjava nodded her dark head.
"Anyway, look at the time, we'd better be going".
"Yes" Kirjava agreed as she jumped into Wills bag, they had a very important appointment to keep.
On their way out of the residential home Will politely waved and nodded to Mr Betteridge who nodded back. Once they seemed to be out of earshot however, Will heard them talk.-
"-Who him?" someone said disdainfully.
"Ey"
"Isn't he the one that makes up all those tall-tales?"
"I thought he was an author or something"
"No, just mad I guess".
Will ignored them. The knife -he knew by the constant bleeding of his finger- was real enough, he knew he wasn't lying, he didn't lie. So he continued on his path. Determination set in the lines of his face that had not faded for sixty years.
IIIII
It was almost noon and the heat in the Botanic Gardens was stiffening, yet Will just undid the top button of his shirt and continued waiting. Kirjava sat impatiently on the bench next to him, her dark bushy tail swaying slightly from side to side.
One or two people looked baffled to see a cat sitting happily on a bench in the gardens, but Will found it helped. One year, when Kirjava had been younger and still had the energy to run about, he let her roam the gardens. That left the seat next to him vacant, which resulted in some young woman sitting there in her space. But she wasn't to know, and Will was not rude, so he let her sit there. Her name was Carol, and two weeks later he saw her again outside the Cinema, inside they sat together and later that year they got married.
But Will didn't want anyone taking the seat there now. So Kirjava sat tall and proud and her big yellow eyes glared at the passers by who dared to laugh.
Will checked his watch, two minutes to go. He wondered if Lyra was already here. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and thought of her; the scent of her body, her dark blonde hair her eyes so full of fierce happiness that they could melt even the toughest of hearts. He missed her every day, but he had done as she said. He had got himself a wife and a family of his own and he loved them dearly. Thought it was hard, and at times he wept for Lyra. And only the soft fur of his daemon Kirjava could comfort him. Though he knew she was sad too, for she missed Pan dearly.
Outside, not too far away, he heard the bells from the church chime twelve. For a brief moment he closed his eyes and thought of nothing but Lyra. He imagined her too, in her word sitting on this very bench. Her small delicate hand resting next to his, perhaps where his was. Perhaps if you could see both worlds at the same time, you could see them holding hands almost. His atop hers.
He could almost imagine the feel of her warm skin beneath his palm as it lay flat on the bench, her subtle pulse telling him she was alive and there too.
He opened his eyes and looked down to where his hand lay and realised with a surge of sadness that it was his own pulse he felt. Still he sat there, alone and undisturbed except for his memories, for the hour. When their time was up Kirjava gently nudged his arm with her nose and he smiled at her stroking her soft fur.
"It's time to go" she said so quietly that only he would hear.
He nodded and opened his bag for her to step into, and she did so graciously.
IIIII
Back at his flat, alone that night, Will sat up and watched as the clouds swam past his window. He knew with a feeling of huge relief that his time in this world was slowly drawing to an end. He had seen death, and he was not afraid. With Kirjava purring softly on his lap he closed his old and heavy eyes and drew what would be his last breath.
IIIII
It wasn't long before he awoke again; his old flat was still dark and very much how he had left it. But he wasn't really there anymore and he knew. His mortal body lay in what looked like restful sleep on that old armchair that his wife, Carol had hated so much.
Kirjava had gone and he felt alone and cold. He looked into the night sky outside and knew that his daemon was not far away. She had been with him a long time, and now she was at peace, at last.
He felt the urges that he knew would come. Slowly glancing once more around what had been his home for the past ten years Will made his way outside. There the night air was cool, though he could not feel it. He could no longer feel that ferocious chill as it filled his lungs with each breath. At the gate to the retirement home Will headed off down the empty silent road knowing where it would lead him.
After countless minutes had passed and time became nothing more than a distant memory Will found himself in a familiar place. He wondered if his death was here, or had he already come and Will hadn't even noticed. He made his way slowly down the old grey streets that he remembered. The people who lived there, in limbo between the worlds of the living and the dead paid him little attention. At long last he found the boat and the man he had first seen sixty years ago.
The old man smiled at him, and for Will, he suddenly didn't seem that old anymore. "Welcome back old friend" the man said greeting him. "I don't suppose you are going to kick up too much of a fuss this time" he joked.
"No" will said shaking his head, "I won't, but I can't go across yet, there is someone I have to wait for-"
"She's already here" the man on the boat told him, "she hasn't been waiting too long, you both came at about the same time I'd say".
Will could almost swear he felt his heart beating again. Lyra was here. If he had any breath left it would have left him by now due to sheer shock, "w-where is, I mean, she really is here?"
The old man nodded and pointed to a spot just behind Will's shoulder. Shakily, and aware of the fact will turned and looked. There standing before him was Lyra, in all the innocent beauty that he remembered. She smiled at him shyly and took a step forward.
"Hello Will" she smiled
"Hello Lyra…You haven't been waiting-"
"No, not long" she said
He couldn't draw his eyes away from hers, she had aged so much yet she was still so beautiful and warm. He felt alive again just looking at her.
"It's been so long since…" he said finally not finding anything else to say.
She nodded and slowly she reached out her hand for him to take. And he did, and unlike in the past where ghosts would have just passed through him, her delicate little hand fit perfectly in his. He smiled down at her and she smiled back.
"I'm ready now" Lyra said to the boatman who nodded in understanding.
Carefully both Will and Lyra made their way into the boat and sat side by side, his hand resting on hers just as he imagined it would have on the bench in the Botanic Garden earlier that day.
"Our last adventure Will" Lyra said facing him, her bright eyes glistening.
Will smiled and squeezed her hand tightly, "I see it as the first of many, who knows what new things we'll see".
"Yes" she said smiling and looking forward now with that sparkle of adventure in her eyes Will loved so dearly. "Yes, and you know what Will?"
"What?" he asked looking at her and smiling as if they were teenager again.
"I can't wait for it to begin"
A/N; After reading the books I had to write this, if not for anyone else, then just for myself. They needed a happy ending... Ok, well I needed one! I was pining away for them so much and this is my closure!
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