Disclaimer: Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters and indica are property of SEGA. The Necronomicon is property of H.P. Lovecraft. Other characters are owned by ChibiYellowEmerald74.
Knuckles and the Amazing Fan Fiction Adventure: A Short Story in Three Short Acts
It was a calm day at the hedgehog household as Sonic was simply relaxing, not having much of anything to do for once. Suddenly a knock was heard at the front door. The hedgehog walked to the door to see his good buddy Knuckles standing before him. "Hey Knux, what's up?" Sonic inquired. The echidna sighed and scratched his head. "Hey, can I use your computer? I need to write a term paper." Sonic laughed at the Knuckles' request. "Why're you writing a term paper? You don't go to college."
"Yeah, your mom goes to college." Knuckles snapped back.
"Alright, relax. Come on, I'll go see if we can fire it up." Sonic responded as he lead Knuckles to his study. In the study sat a 14 year old girl, giggling madly and slamming her hands down on the keyboard in a manner which would most likely break the keys. "Uh, why are you in my house?" Sonic asked. The girl hastily waved them away. "Go away, can't you see I'm trying to perfect my masterpiece!? If I don't release this fanfic, I'll lose my popularity. I'm on over 700 people's favorite authors lists!"
Sonic was puzzled. "That still doesn't explain why you're in my house."
The girl turned around suddenly and appeared awestruck. A visible exitement built up in her, hitting it's climax as she leaped from the chair. "OHMYGAWDSONIKKUUUUUU! SUPAHSUPAHKAWAIIDESUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" was the amalgam of a fragment of communication that had fired itself from the bowels of the child's vocal chords. She latched onto Sonic, which sent the hedgehog into a panic. Screaming, he ran to the kitchen and grabbed some salt, hoping it would have the same effect on the girl as it would on a slug.
After calming down, apologizing, and cleaning up the mess left by the salt attack, Sonic and Knuckles resumed with the interrogation.
"Okay," Knuckles asked "Who are you and why did you break into Sonic's house?" The girl smiled at Knuckles and giggled. "I'm ChibiYellowEmerald74 and I was writing my masterpiece for Eff Eff Dot Net. It's called 'I Love-A You Sonikku!' and stars my fanchara, Charisma the Ocelot. She's moe!" Sonic and Knuckles attempted to understand half of the terms used by the fan girl but could only understand 74, masterpiece, and Ocelot. "Indulge me, just how do you write a fan fiction?" Knuckles inquired. Chibi grinned with an insanity that only those who've read the Necronomicon could know of and cheered out loud. "I'LL SHOW YOU!" She screamed as she opened up Word on the computer. "First you need to think of who you want in your story."
"OOH OOH! I want to be in it!" Sonic exclaimed, raising his hand like an exiteable second grader.
"Okay!" Chibi replied. "And I'll have Charisma in there too. The rest we'll make up as we go along!"
"Can I just write my term paper?" Knuckles asked.
"No!" The girl replied. "You wanted to know how to write a fanfic and now you'll learn. So anyway the story will take place in Station Square, where Sonikku will be taking Ocelot on a date to Twinkle Park!"
Knuckles could feel the vomit rising as the fail factor rose ever so slightly.
"So anyway, Ocelot and Sonic go on the Bumper Cars to have some wild fun when Sonic notices that some kids are harassing Charisma. He
rams his car into the kids' cars and saves Charisma. Charisma tells Sonic she loves him and they decide to get ice cream. They take their ice cream to a bench and sit down to eat it. Charisma drops her ice cream so Sonic lets her have some of his. They start to cuddle and then they-"
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Knuckles boomed. "I just wanted to write a term paper!"
"Come on Knux, let's just hear the rest of the story. I don't think she'll leave unless we do." Sonic explained. Knuckles sighed and let the mediocrity continue.
"Okay so Charisma and Sonikku almost kissed-SQUEE!-when Charisma's arch nemesis, Sheila the Fox, finds them and challenges them to a fight. Sonic doesn't fight because he doesn't hit girls so Charisma and Sheila battle. Sheila tries to punch Charisma in the stomach but Charisma has the power of all the Chaos Emeralds and she knows all of the Chaos Abilities so she uses Chaos Blast and beats Sheila. Everybody's really happy that Sheila was defeated and Sonic thanks Charisma by kissing her! IT'S THE HAPPIEST ENDING EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" And with that, the child stands up and runs out of the house.
"That wasn't half bad, right Knuckles?" Sonic asked.
"I'm not even going to say what I thought about that story. I'm going to the library, this paper isn't going to write itself."
"Okay. See ya Knux!"
The next day Knuckles handed in his term paper. That year he graduated Magna Cum Laude and became a famous author. He wrote a series of novels about a man-child trapped in a fantasy world of his own creation that was later turned into a feature film by Warner Bros. He even wrote the screenplay. After winning not only the Pulitzer Prize but an Oscar Award for best writer, he retired to Vermont where he then worked on his memoirs. Knuckles' success was hailed throughout time as one of the greatest things to happen to man since the invention of fire, and it was all due to one term paper. What was the term paper about, you ask? The effect of animation and video games on children and how mediocre the outcome of said children's fan work is. Straaaaaange, isn't it