Ron
Food. Food. Hermione. Food. Quidditch.
Harry
Hot Asian Sex. Chocolate. Hmm. I wonder what colour boxes Ron's wearing.
Hermione
I wonder what Draco's shoe size is. giggle His hair looks like a wig. Hmm. I wonder if I can see my back. starts turning around, trying to see back
Voldemort
I like Porter Rican men, they're soo spicy!
Neville
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! claps aloud
Colin
Potatoes. Orange. Sauce. Mangos. I 24. Harry Potter. "BINGO!"
Dumbledore
Sings If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops, oh what a world that be!
McGonagoll
Is Dumbledore singing about lemon drops?
Draco
Looks up at hair I hope no one notices this is a wig.
Crabbe
Draco looks soo sexy in those spandex. I just looove watching him stir his cauldron with his loooong wand.
Goyle
Crabbe better not be thinking of that skank Draco, he's my bitch!
Hagrid
Slow voice Of Mice and Men George says I can tend to da rabbits!
Mrs. Norris
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Snape
Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily.
James
Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily. Lily.
Lily
Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt.
Sirius
Remus is so hot. No, wait, I didn't mean to say that! I just love his eyes. No! Stop! I'm not gay! Don't try to deny it. But I'm not gay! Oh, but you are. I, but, you, I mean, how…o-oh, all right.
Remus
I wonder what Sirius is thinking. On second thought, something perverse is always going on in his head, you know what, I-I don't even want to know anymore.
Bellatrix
Voldemort's baldness just turns me on! I just wanna rub my hands ALL over it! And that nose! Well, er, he doesn't really have one. But if he did, boy, it would be sexy! I just wanna model lingerie for him! Moans Oh shit, I'm having a fucking organism in my…in my head! What the hell?! Is that even possible?! Moans again Oh, but it fells soooooo good! Screams in pleasure
Yaxley
Sniggers Silly Bella, trix are for kids!
Mrs. Weasley
That Dr, Seuss is one sick man
I'll eat it in a house
And with a mouse
I'll eat it in a box
With a fox
I'll eat it here and there
Hell, I'll eat it anywhere
That son of bitch. He's never coming near my children.
The Giant Squid
These freakin' crabs won't go away! He he
Dementor
Damn, I wish I could get some pussy!
Luna
Shikykaka Pop! Goes my popcorn! Damn it Jon, that's my fake leg with seven toes! Ooo, a turtle; looky, he's on fire with icy skates. Swim little guy! Come on, you can do it! Oh, too bad, he died. The fire was too cold. Ooo, a rolly polly bug from Harry's hair! I shall cal you Donny. Freddy still needs a nanny to give a spanking! The bumblebees are gonna kill the sheep!
Seamus
They're after me lucky charms, case I'm magically delicious!
Fred
Oh bugga! My dumb pet monkey refuses to throw shit at George! I even practiced with a picture of him…or was that my mum? Uh-oh.
George
With this turtle I thee wedd…I mean, uh, I shall train this turtle to piss on Fred. I shall use the picture of my dad!