i do not own anything.
This takes place in the episode The Uncertainty Priciple
How can Jane do this to me? I mean she did destroy my statue but at least she did seem to regret it. She apologized again and again. I know, maybe I shouldn't have taken so long to forgive her. Maybe she wouldn't have started dating his jerk. I thought we were on the right track again. We started talking, not much but it was a start. And if she had asked me to the dance I would have gladly accepted. God, why is everything so complicated?
I wanna forgive her for everything and just move on, I really do. It's just so hard. I can't understand why she would do something like that to me, we were friends. She seemed to like my art, my statue. But now, thinking about it, she wasn't really enthusiastic when I gave it to her. The last time I made her something she seemed much happier. What happened that day to make her react to my art that way? And once again my thoughts are there I can see her standing over the trash that once had been build into a meaningful something and it just so damn hurts.
And now I have to live with the fact that she seems to have given up on me. Why else would she take some jerk to the semi formal? The same jerk that she tried to protect me from when he beat me up. This doesn't make any sense. But Jane never makes sense, she is always a surprise. Many actions seem random and she herself seems surprised. But Ramsey? How can she do that? And I had hoped we could go together as part of our reconciliation.
Grace told me she is going to the semi formal with Jane's brother. I know I have to go I need to see the disaster of Jane and Ramsey. But it is hard to just stand by and not do anything, not seem interested. I'm sitting alone at a table and play with my drink, I can't look into the direction of Jane. It hurts. I'm not sure but it may even hurt more than seeing her smash my work of art. Her mom tells me someday the girls will realise I'm much better than a bad boy but I just want Jane to notice me.
When I see her run out after that stupid boy I just can't take it anymore. I know Jane, she will beat herself up about making a mistake once again. I intend to tell her that people can forgive each other and maybe we can make up. Maybe she will even dance with me before the night ends. I realised that I have forgiven her, for the broken art and also for hurting me with Ramsey. Then she climbs into his car and I know this ruined everything once again. She seems really interested in that jerk. But I have to help her anyway, the boy is a lunatic.
Oh god, it is so bad to see Jane standing there and having a gun pointed at her. I knew since a long time ago that Ramsey is bad but this tops everything. Part of me just wants to run over and hug the girl, bring her out of this situation. But an even bigger part is annoyed at her. The guy is pointing a gun at her and her dad and she still defends him. What did he do to deserve her? The only thing I'm sure of is that this evening is a step back. Jane does not know it and maybe she doesn't even care but I can't let this evening go. This is just too much. I had hoped that she would just ask Ramsey out to get a reaction from me, with this I could have lived. But her behaviour shows something different and this hurts me once again.
If our relationship can ever get better again is doubtful. I may have realised that I'm in love with her but she does not seem to feel the same way. She has hurt me in so many ways, some not even known to her, how can I overcome this? I think I just need to stay out of her life and maybe I will get over her and her hurtful ways. We'll see what the future brings.