This takes place shortly after Weathertop. It does not follow the original story!

Chapter 28592759834572098475234985*0+1- Many meetings (we only care about two)

The first meeting:

A fly flew by a frog. The frog ate it. The end.

The second meeting:

Sauron's point of view:

[insert your favorite dream here]

I was jarred out of my lovely dream by Khamûl, the (now) first in command (Witch-king had a minor incident involving a man and a torch, and needed a few hundred years to recuperate) slithering into my throne room wearing his epically epic black robes. I could tell he had some really bad news, as it was not typical of him to hide behind specks of dust.

"Khamûl, I can see you."

He gasped, and I distinctly heard the words "not" and "again" screeched out as his robes fell to the floor. He'd been having trouble keeping a physical form lately. Something to do with my wrath being directed at him instead of Witch-King.

The now formless Nazgûl began to speak.

"Master, do we have to have black robes? We could use a much more wholesome color like, pink, or-"

"Do you mean to say that you interrupted my torturous sleep for something as ridiculous as PINK ROBES!"

"I don't mean to say that! I just did it!"

"GET OUT! NOW!"

"M-m-master? We had a bit of a problem in the torture chamber. Apparently the Shire…Baggins we caught died, and that Gollum thing escaped again."

"WHY ARE YOU STANDING HERE! GO OUT AND GET ME A NEW SHIRE…BAGGINS AND FIND THAT GOLLUM THING AND BRING HIM BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

He left…useless idiot.

Khamûl POV:

I survived that incident without (literally)losing my head. I did leave my robes in there. I'll get new ones.

A blast of flame and Black Cursing is heard issuing from behind throne room door.

Definitely some new robes. And Master wants a new Shire…Baggins. How many times have a told him that they don't grow on trees? At least, we think they don't grow on trees. We've taken and tourtured every life-form that could possibly be a Baggins in the Shire, and now he wants us to look in Baggins for a Shire! Telling him that the orcs ate the Baggins was not fun, not fun at all. Especially that part where I came in and entrails were already on the floor.

I gave Master a rock to torture, that should keep him busy for a while, unless he can kill that too. Now I have to find that Gollum Creature. I'm told that he says his own name a lot, but nobody knows what he looks like because he killed all the orcs that tried to chase him (Meaning half the army; we still don't know how he managed that).

12.568 years later…

I can hear this Gollum thing. It's getting closer, and closer, and closer.

(loud gasp is heard as Gollum and Khamûl see each other)

"Awww! It's so tiny, and clammy, and cute! I could just eat it, if I had a mouth!"

Oops! Did I say that out loud?

It was talking, "Curses and beboundels them! We hates them! Yes, precious, we HATES them! Gollum! 'Ollum!"

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