(Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters and stuffs belong to her greatness JK Rowling.)
Fanfiction: The One That Got Away
Summary: Songfic, based on Katy Perry's 'The One That Got Away' (The song and the video. Oh, and the song belongs to Katy Perry, not me at all! ). In another life, Severus would have done things differently, but would it still end the same way?
Warnings: Implied Snarry. Kind of sad, I guess?
Listening to the pitter patter of raindrops at the window, you think back to the few moments you had with him. You slam your fist on the wall in an attempt to detach yourself from the familiar pain rising up in your chest.
Splashing each other with snow one Christmas at Hogwarts during his fledgling years teaching
You sink to your knees, looking out of the windows helplessly as you become trapped in your memories. Rocking yourself back and forth, you grip your sleeves under the onslaught of him.
Laughter. His laughter, bubbling around you, lighting up the whole room in a heartbeat.
"Severus!"
Why, you scream, demanding the answer to a thousand questions from no one in particular. You grip and tug at your hair, kick the furniture, scream a thousand obsceneties and then some, throw objects around before finally rushing out of your quarters. The students look disturbed and shocked by your behaviour, but you don't care. You have to get out, everywhere you look you can see him; laughing with friends, showing that fierce loyalty and inherent kindess, smiling, living…
"Marry me?"
Your head shoots up, scanning his eyes desperately hoping it was real. Satisfied when you find not a hint of mockery, you close your eyes briefly and take in a deep, rattling breath. You bow your head, a dozen replies shooting through your mouth and never making it past your lips.
"Severus?" he whispers gently. He places his hand gently on your cheek, and you turn your face, leaning into his touch, nuzzling his palm and accepting the comfort offered.
"I-" you choke out, instantly regretting your choice of wording. Now he's sure to think you said no, you think regretfully.
"I love you, Severus." Your heart stops and your breath catches in your throat. You meet his eyes, unable to mask the fear, insecurity and hope that glitters unmistakeably in your eyes. A shaky nod and-
"Y-yes. Yes! Yes! I want to marry you!"
He smiles gently, tucking your head under his chin. He is the picture of peace and calm, while you, normally the stoic, cold man have been reduced to a great sentimental piece of mush. He holds you without complaint, recognising the sacrifice you made, and you relish in his warmth.
Finally out of the castle, you run unseeingly to the place where the two of you always sat, where no one dared to disturb you. "The Happy Place" you called it.
With every step you take, the hysteria seems to dissipate. By the time you reach the rock placed conveniently in the shade of the huge tree overlooking the lake, you have been left with a sense of deep loneliness and longing. You plop down on the grass, leaning against the rock.
"Damn it!"
You swear out loud. How could you have let this happen? One moment of stupidity and you blow your chance at happiness. Again.
Clenching the note and reading it again, the sense of helplessness washes over you. You need to make this better somehow, you can't let it end this way.
You can remember his face flushed with anger, his mouth set into a tight frown, his fists trembling with supressed rage. His entire posture radiated frustration, and you would have been afraid had you not seen his eyes, which screamed out BETRAYAL! at you. He had ranted and raved and in your inebriated state, you had let out a few words that drove him away from you, perhaps forever.
Collapsing onto the couch, you let out a groan when a magnificent, proud white stag made of light comes bounding through the door. It stares at you for a moment, then opens its mouth to let out a message.
"Sev, I-" the voice cracks, then the message continues in a more even tone, "Sev. This, what, I… Damnit Sev! How could you do this to me! But no, before you ask, I'm not telling you where I am right now. Suffice to say I'm safe, but… I won't let it end this way Sev. We've been through too much to let it all end here. I-I'll meet you at the bar, the muggle one called Braken's tomorrow for lunch alright? We'll talk this out. See you."
The stag turns and trots out, nearly at the door before turning around one last time with a piercing stare and lets out a few last words. "I love you, Severus Tobias Snape. Do you still love me?"
And he was gone.
All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa,
'Cause now I pay the price
The tears stream down your face, reflecting the rays of the setting sun.
The fight has all but left your body. You feel tired, so tired. You want him back more than anything, for how could anyone survive in a world without the Sun?
He was the provider, the protector. He held you up when you could no longer do it yourself. He waited when the rest gave up hope. He saved you like you had once saved him.
You sit by his grave by yourself his friends have left. The letter that was in his pocket when Fate had so cruelly ripped him away is now in your lap, dotted with flecks of red and the ink is smudged where your tears had fallen.
You never were a man of many emotions, for it was not expected of one such as yourself. He was your safe haven, the one you came home to in the end. He let you break down because he would put you back together at the end. Every time, without fail. Now the last thing you would remember was his face lighting up with joy at seeing you, right before the muggle car had sent his body flying.
Never again would he hold you with that tenderness reserved only for you. No more jokes, playful banter, passionate lovemaking, breakfast in the morning, sweet kisses filled with love…
You blew it.
You take out the crinkled, yellow paper from your robes and smoothen it out. Clearing your throat, you hesitate and feel your resolve begin to crumble.
You had never read it once, for fear of everything seeming final. Your hands are shaking badly, and you nearly give up when-
"Severus." Followed by a poke in the ribs.
It can't be real. You've finally lost your mind, Severus, the guilt was finally too much, you muse, and what little peace of mind you had has finally left it seems.
Poke. "Sev!" Poke. "Hello? Se-ve-rus." Poke. "Oh, dear. Must have finally gone deaf, the old bat." Poke. "SEV-RUS. MER-LIN-TO-SEV-RUS-"
Wincing at the volume, you turn to face your hallucination with a scathing retort that dies on your lips at the sight that is both heavenly and heartbreaking.
"Wow, insanity is wonderful indeed." Though you clearly do not deserve it, someone somewhere has decided to grant you a perfect image of Him. The hair, the eyes, the smile, perfect right down to the spark of mischief twinkling in his eyes.
He opens his arms, and you melt in the contact. You have missed this so much, it's so much more than you deserve but you'll take what you can get. He even smells the same. Dear God, the nightmare that awaits must surely be painful indeed. Oh well.
"Oh Merlin, Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. I'm so sor-"
The apologies are stopped by a single finger on your lips, replaced by a kiss. So soft, so perfect.
"Open it Severus." As you obey his word, you see him close his eyes, a relaxed and peaceful smile on his face as he tilts his head upwards. As you read the first line, he begins to speak out loud, as if reading the letter himself word for word.
"My Dearest Severus,
"We have been through so much, don't you agree? Those first seven years at Hogwarts where I hated you, then the next few years after saving you from Nagini's poison changed it into respect. When I started to work beside you, I fell for you deeply. Head over heels, like an idiot.
"That night when you cried in my arms, mourning the losses of your soul, I had resolved to become your caregiver. I wanted you not just to survive through the pain, but to push past and really live. That night changed the relationship between us, and the more time we spent together, the more I got to know you, and you to know me. How cliché.
"When we became lovers, I finally allowed myself to hope that you would want to spend the next chapter of your life with me. We grew closer, and I helped you to get rid of your insecurities and fears, I cared for you and you showed me how it was to be loved. Merlin knows there was no love lost between me and the Dursleys. Sorry, Dursleys and I.
"That day we married, you were so beautiful. I could not believe what I had done to deserve such a wonderful man in my life, to love me and cherish me, but you were there nonetheless. Your smile will stay in my heart forever.
"Severus, I know you made a mistake. I forgive you. Yes, I'm not crazy you git. I love you, and one moment of drunken idiocy isn't gonna chase me away forever. It's just-your words struck me deep. I was so stressed from my work that I wasn't thinking straight, so like the foolish Gryffindor I am, I made a rash decision and ran. I'm sorry.
"Severus, I would never be able to live without you. I forgive you, so forgive yourself. For me.
"Once again, I love you Severus Tobias Snape. I am yours forever.
"Love, Harry."
You face him again, and you reply firmly.
"Yes, my Harry. Anything for you."
He smiles that beaming bright smile again, and leans closer. You close your eyes, and when your lips touch, you open them to stare into those beautiful emeralds that held so much love and devotion.
"Always, Severus."
When you open them again, he is gone. But you can still feel his lips upon yours, and the warmth in your heart will never go away.
If only, if only...
In another life
I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away...
This is to celebrate the release of Katy Perry's music video fo 'The One That Got Away'. I've been in a sort of sad mood lately, reading all sorts of sad fics and listening to sad songs and stuff. Gah, I'm feeling masochistic. I even cried myself to sleep after reading a fic where Severus dies and Harry is almost unable to enjoy christmas anymore. Severus...
So, I was excited over the music video and watched it and whaddaya know, I cried. Again. But while watching it for the second time, I could picture Severus and Harry in the scenes...
But seriously, Katy Perry's song's are great. Don't miss her video! Yes, its sad but still awesome.
Okay, thanks for reading again! If you could, let me know what you think..?
Beersmoo