Too Old For This

~Ash~

Charlotte: 3

Lifting the hamburger toward my mouth, I couldn't help but smile before taking my first bite. This was just what I needed-a stress free day and a pretty decent hamburger. Granted, it wasn't the best one I'd ever had, but it was worth the wait.

Setting her tray down on the table, Ruby let out a puff of air before sitting down. I could tell she was a bit worn out from fighting Charlotte to eat her lunch. In the end, though, she had just settled for a half eaten lunch.

"I never imagined having to fight your daughter to eat," Ruby teased me, of course, blaming Charlotte's behavior on me. I knew she was only kidding, but I couldn't help but notice that whenever Charlotte behaved, it was her daughter, but when she misbehaved, she was my daughter. Regardless, it was still weird even now to hear someone call this girl Charlotte my daughter. Two years ago, I didn't even know she existed.

"She just wants to play," I replied between bites of my hamburger. "She would have stopped when she was hungry anyway. After all, she is my daughter," I added, shooting her tiny smirk. " Unless we're in the middle of a Pokemon battle, we will stop to eat."

Ruby just shook her head in that way she always had as a kid. Even though she never said them, the words 'Oh, Ash' could always be matched with that headshake.

"I bet you wish you could play in there to," Ruby commented, a devilish grin on her face. "We didn't have any of these places in Pallet."

Gazing toward the giant indoor playground of the fast-food place we were eating, I let my eyes sweep across the various tunnels, slides and bridges. It was like a playground on steroids-minus the swings. "She doesn't know how lucky she is," I replied, some disdain in my voice. Despite my age, I couldn't help but be a bit jealous of my daughter. If they had one of these places in Pallet when I was her age, I would have begged my mom to take me there every day. No wonder Charlotte didn't want to eat right away. "It makes me wish I had lived in a bigger city."

"Pika pi!" I heard Pikachu call from somewhere beside me. Turning in the direction of his voice, I spotted him and Charlotte peering through the glass on one of the tunnels.

They both waved to Ruby and I, shooting us a big smile to show that they were both enjoying themselves. Just like it was odd for me to hear someone refer to Charlotte as my daughter, it was also odd to see her and Pikachu together. Thankfully-not that I thought it would be a problem-Pikachu had quickly warmed up to Charlotte, becoming her protector and best friend. He would even stay in her room until she fell asleep, and if she woke up, he'd always hear her before Ruby or I did.

"I know I've said this about a million times, but it still surprises me how good Pikachu is with her," Ruby remarked as she waved back at Pikachu and Charlotte.

"Yeah. He's had lots of practice," I replied.

Turning back toward me, Ruby gave me a funny look, narrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "Ash, is there something-" It was then I suddenly realized why she was giving me a funny look.

"With baby Pokemon!" I quickly corrected myself. "One of my traveling companions had a baby Togepi that Pikachu always looked out for."

"Oh okay," she nodded in understanding. Phew, glad I got that straightened out. "Togepis are really cute! Did it ever evolve?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't exactly a very happy evolution. I mean, my friend was happy Togepi evolved, but they were sad because after that they had to let it go. It needed to stay at the Mirage Kingdom and protect the other Togepi there from some evil guy."

"Oh," she quietly responded, frowning a bit. "That's always hard-letting a Pokemon go."

"I know, trust me," I sighed, remembering the Pokemon throughout my journey that I had to let go. "My friend was so attached to that Togepi, too. They were the first person Togepi saw when it hatched, so it thought my friend was its mother."

"Did they ever go back and visit it?"

"Not that I know of."

Had Misty ever gone back to see her Togetic? That I didn't know, and I had a feeling I would never find out either. In fact, I'd be lucky if Misty ever talked to me again after what I did to her and Brock. Speaking of Misty, I couldn't help but wonder what she's up to right now.

OOOO

While I threw away the trash from our lunch, Ruby went to gather Charlotte up so we could head back home. It was almost time for her nap, and with Ruby running things, Charlotte would be home for her nap as close to the planned time as possible. Then again, that's how Ruby was. She was very meticulous and she had to have a schedule for everything. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, considering I was never one who could follow a schedule very well, but she tended to get stressed out if she thought we weren't going to make the scheduled time.

Before I headed back toward Ruby, I happened to get a quick glance at her. She was speaking to Charlotte with one hand on her hip and the other in the air, counting down on her fingers. Whatever Ruby was saying to Charlotte, it was obvious she didn't agree, nor did she intend on listening to it. Instead, she gave Ruby a firm headshake before running away. Although I could tell Ruby was trying her best not to lose her cool, Charlotte's actions were only making it harder.

"Charlotte Elizabeth Hamilton," Ruby called out, using her firm, lecture sounding voice. Through being bossed around by her as a kid, I knew that in Ruby language, that tone of voice meant business and that you better listen up. "Come here right now young lady."

Keeping my distance, so I wouldn't be snapped at, I couldn't help but notice the other parents starting to stare at Ruby. I knew Ruby wasn't one to create a scene, so I could only feel bad for her when the other parents gave her dirty looks. Not only was it obvious Ruby was very young for a mom, but that fact that Charlotte wasn't listening to her only brought upon more looks. It wasn't her fault she was in this position-if anything it was mine-but if these parents knew Ruby the way I knew her, they wouldn't be thinking of ways to criticize her in their head.

"Adam," she hissed in my direction. For a second, I dumbly stared back at her before it dawned on me that she was calling me by the name I had asked her to use. Sighing, I ignored the eyes staring at me as I walked over to Ruby. "I told Charlotte it's time to leave, but she won't listen to me. I can't reach her either because she keeps running away."

"Pikachu," I called, sticking my fingers in my mouth to let out a small whistle. A short moment later, Pikachu appeared in front of me. "Can you got get Charlotte for us? It's time to leave."

Nodding his head, Pikachu scampered off to go search for Charlotte.

"I don't think this is going to work," Ruby muttered beside me. "If she doesn't follow him, there's no way Pikachu can physically pick her up and carry her out."

Huh. I hadn't thought of that. I had just assumed Charlotte would behave and follow Pikachu. Maybe I was giving her more credit than she deserved. Still, I had some faith that my daughter would behave. But sure enough, like Ruby had said, Pikachu showed up with a troubled look on his face and no Charlotte.

"Don't worry about it, buddy," I told him. If there was one thing Pikachu hated, it was disappointing people, so I had to often remind him that it wasn't his fault. Turning back to Ruby, I sighed. "No what?"

"Now what? We climb in there and get her." We both stared at each other, waiting for the other to volunteer to get Charlotte. "By we I mean you."

"But-" I tried to protest.

"I would go get her, but I have on a dress," she stated, gesturing to the sundress she was wearing. "Besides," she added, a tiny smirk on her face, "you did say you wanted to play in this."

That hadn't been what I meant, but oh well. I knew there was no fighting this one.

"Fine," I finally gave in. "Where did she go, Pikachu?"

"Your daughter went that way," Ruby told me, pointing to one of the tunnels above. Right. Like I said, Charlotte was my daughter when she misbehaved. Heaven forbid a bad behavior was inherited from Ruby.

Climbing into the play area, I got down on my hands and knees so I could crawl through the tunnel without hitting my head. Following Pikachu, I made my way through one of the plastic tunnels while the other customers watched After emerging through the tunnel, I was forced to follow Pikachu over a bridge that took us up even higher in the play thing. I know I'd probably done something similar to this at some point in my journey, but this was humiliating. I could just picture people like Misty and Gary laughing hysterically as they watched me climb through this maze of plastic tunnels and bridges.

"Charlotte!" I called out to my daughter when I spotted her. She was standing in one of the more open areas, staring down at Ruby to see if she would come get her. Hearing my voice, she whipped her head around, her face full of shock. "Charlotte, it's time to go now. We have to go home now so you can take your nap."

"No!" she shouted back, shaking her head. "Play!"

Before I could say anything else, she sprinted off again, climbing even higher in the play area. Knowing if I moved now, I could out run her and grab her before she got too far away, I quickly stood up to chase after her. But as I went to stand up, the sound of my head hitting the plastic tunnel reminded me of where I was and of how I was way too big for this place.

"Shit!" I cursed, as I watched Charlotte put even more distance between us. It was also then that I heard the sound of someone gasping in shock from behind me. When I turned around, there was a little boy who had stopped just before the exit of the tunnel.

"You said a bad word, Mister!" he yelled at me. His eyes were about the size of Pokeballs, and he looked like I had just told him Santa Clause wasn't real. "I'm going to tell my mommy! She says you're not supposed to say those words."

What? Great, just great. "Look, I'm sorry. Your mom's right. Don't say bad words. It was an accident, don't tell her, okay?" I practically begged the kid, a sense of panic in my voice. The last thing I needed was this kid's mom coming after me for letting the s-word slip. Before he could yell at me some more, though, I took off after Charlotte.

As I rounded the corner, I spotted her once again. This time, though, she was trapped between me and the wall, the slide her only escape. And if she tried to go back the way she came, I would be ready to snatch her and carry her out of there.

"You have till the count of three to get over here, Charlotte," I told her, trying my best to sound authoritative like a parent should. Unlike Ruby, I sucked when it came to disciplining Charlotte. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get my voice to sound serious enough for her to listen. What made it worse was that, even at the age of three, Charlotte was well aware of her daddy's lack of ability to successfully discipline her. She just couldn't take me seriously. "1…2…3…" I counted, using my fingers just like I always saw Ruby do.

Regardless of my efforts, though, once I reached three, Charlotte had yet to move an inch toward me. It was times like this that made me wish that, like, a Pokemon, I could just recall them into a Pokeball. Sighing, I stood up-this time making sure to be more aware of my surroundings-and headed toward her. I hated having to be the bad guy, but if I had to drag her out of there, I would. Before I could reach her, though, she opted for her only escape down the slide.

Racing to the edge of the play area, I frantically searched for where the exit of the slide was. "The slide!" I shouted down to Ruby once I figured out which one it was, pointing wildly to the big blue slide a few feet away from her.

Understanding my gestures, she rushed over to the slide just in time to catch a very surprised Charlotte as she emerged out of the slide. Relieved that we had finally caught her, I turned around to scan my surroundings for a way out. There was no way I was going to climb back the way I had came, so the only option I had left was the slide Charlotte had just gone down.

"Well, looks like we're going down the slide, buddy," I told Pikachu. I hadn't been down a slide since I was…well, a really long time ago.

Sitting at the entrance to the slide, I tried to figure out how I could get down the slide fastest. I knew sitting down wouldn't work, considering I was way too big already. That left me with either going down on my back or my stomach. Since I knew it would probably hurt more to go down on my back, I opted for my stomach. Before going down, I set Pikachu down and gave him a little push, sending him down the slide.

Lying on my stomach, I pushed off on the slide. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, though, as I started going down the slide, it quickly became clear that I was not generating the proper momentum to propel my self down the slide. Inch by inch, I basically Caterpie crawled my way through the slide, praying the end was in sight. Just as I was rounding the small twist in the slide, though, I felt something hit my feet. Now what?

"Hey Mister!" I heard an all too familiar voice yell in my ear. It was that same kid who had yelled at me for cussing earlier. "You're supposed to sit down when you go down the slide. My mommy says it's really dangerous if you go down on your tummy."

"Thanks for the tip, kid. I'm working on it," I replied.

Inching my way down the slide even more, I finally saw the light that indicated the end of the slide was close. Finally reaching the end, I squeezed my way through and crawled my way out.

"Um…" Ruby muttered as she stared down at me, unsure of how to react to what she was seeing. "Do I want to know?"

"Don't ask, " I shot back as I stood up and picked up Charlotte, who was standing next to Ruby, equally confused. After that, I led the way out of the fast food place, never daring to look back. I'd already had enough trouble for one day.

"Mommy! Mommy!" I heard that little kid yell as he came out of the slide. His voice was loud of obnoxious, ensuring everyone in the place could hear him, including Ruby and I who were already through the first set of doors. "That man was cussing and he went down the slide the wrong way!"

Grabbing Ruby's arm, I yanked her along as I quickened my pace. The faster we got away from there, the better.