Chapter 1
No parent ever wants to see their child fighting for life in an incubator in the confines of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, but that was the reality Jac and Jonny were faced with as they watched their tiny baby fight for survival. Hooked up to machines and tubes, tiny Emma Louise Naylor-Maconie was clinging onto dear life with the prowess that her mother possessed as a consultant cardiothoracic surgeon on Darwin Ward of Holby City hospital. With a few pictures hanging lifelessly on the walls of the NICU, the stench of antiseptic filling nostrils, this place was one where you'd spend as little time as possible.
Jonny approached Emma's incubator and pulled up a chair as close as possible so that he could tell her about what was happening. "Hello my wee darling! Daddy's just come by to hang with my wee star and look, Auntie Mo and Grandpa Elliott have given you some more toys to keep you company!" He whispered as he placed two newly sterilized soft toys in an already overflowing incubator.
"Mummy's still scared to come in, baby. She's so scared of repeating her own mummy's actions. But I know that with the time you've already spent with us, she doesn't have to be.
Watching from outside NICU, Jac peered through the glass panels and took a deep breath as her clammy fingers touched the cold metal rails as she pushed the heavy door and made her way over to where Jonny and Emma were. Stopping short, she gazed at the two of them, Jonny whispering to his daughter and smiled sadly to herself. She waited for a long time to become a mother and now that she had the chance, she realised she felt different. She feared she was repeating her mother's actions. She didn't feel an immediate bond with her daughter after a traumatic labour and delivery. But with the support of Jonny, Mo and Elliott, she knew she had their support every step of the way. She wanted to be the best mother she could be to Emma and in order to let that happen, Jac had to let her past go and embrace the fact that she had a supportive network as well as a little girl who was getting stronger by the day.
"Jonny, you've beaten me to it", spoke the fiery red head. Jonny turned his mop of curls around and saw the mother of his child pull up a seat next to him and place her hand through the hole of the incubator, while her other hand rested on Jonny's lap.
"Hello baby, mummy's here now, she's just performed a heart valve replacement but she's here now" cooed Jac while Jonny simply smiled at her taut facial features relaxing as she smiled with pleasure as Emma squeezed Jac's finger.