The Grey Experience

Name: Jennifer Dillon

Age: 27

New years resolution: Find a man + Get rid of those cobwebs.

Current Weight: 169lbs

Occupation: Apprenticeship at Tyler Offices

Days without drinking: 1

Years without smoking: 5

Years without sex: 2 and counting (Thus the cobwebs)

Last Ben and Jerry's consumed: 1hr ago

Date: 01/01/2013

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a good wife"

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

What is not known about that passage is that such a "good wife" must be all of the following:

- Blonde
- Skinny
- Well spoken
- Good on the arm of such a man
- Boobs, lots and lots of boob.
- Under the age of 22.

All of this considered, I, Jennifer, am already out of the running for such a man in possession of a good fortune. Or a good anything.

My name is Jennifer Dillion, I'm 27, unemployed until today and desperately, indefinitely single.

You may wonder, and I wouldn't blame you for wondering, why a woman of 27 isn't engaged, or married, or even thinking of children, maybe even having children. But it is unfortunate in my current state of events to even consider that a possibility. With the economic climate as it is, my old job as the smiley secretary at a small publishing company was, As I was told by my employer "Simply a frivolous position the company can no longer indulge." Meaning; "Out of all the jobs we have, yours is the most pointless."
So, I was fired.

Despite my good grades and stellar references (Minus the above job which mentioned me being "Overly talkative for her position", seriously - who puts that on a reference for somebody they just fired?!) I was reduced to a Apprenticeship in the 'Lucrative' Tyler Offices - With three 18-21 year olds. Eek.
Reduced from a working woman to a lacky to people perhaps younger than myself. Kill me now.

Other than the disappointing life of work for me, I have a less than satisfying history for love or romance. Something I desperately crave. Who wouldn't?
Unfortunately for me, I was raised surrounded by romance, my mother bought me my first copy of Pride and Prejudice at the age of 9. I wasn't interested at first until I was 14. I picked up the boring dusty book and 20 minutes later I was caught, hook, line and sinker.

Ever since my view of love and relationships has been rather pitifully distorted, I wanted a Darcy, or My own Captain Wentworth, or even my own Colonel Brandon. Or, more appealing - My own Mr grey.
All of which have been cruelly unavailable to me. Perhaps the starting point of being more educated on love would be my first kiss.

Oh yes, just picture it - I was 15. I was excited beyond belief and I thought I had found "the one."
Well, not "the one, the one." but I thought he was a close second, he liked everything I did, he liked the same films, he enjoyed comedies - And I was drunk for the first time at my friends house which seemed to speed the 'bonding' period up.
It all started rather innocently, first mentioning a similar taste in music, then more things arose where it seemed like, with the blur of vodka that we liked precisely the same things. It was magical and we bonded, more alcohol later and we were inseparable.

Things were going well, until in my drunken stupor his friend (Or his 'wing man') encouraged me to go kiss him. In fact, more forced me into it by denying me entrance into the room I wanted to be in. So, in a drunken haze I approached. Brazen from the beer and ready to kiss him. He smiled down at me, my eyes glistening in the darkness of the hall in which were confined. So close together, ready for the kiss. I smiled, becoming rather bashful and telling him I was going to kiss him. He agreed. I leaned forward, as did he, and we met in the middle, our lips touched, my eyes closed and waited for the sparks, the fireworks, the connection.

It fell completely flat and there was nothing. At all.

I waited for the few awkward moments and our lips began to move. We were on two completely different wave lengths, he opened and closed his mouth awkwardly and I felt as if he were trying to eat my face off. I just stood there, I didn't know what to do. I was paralyzed in a state of awkward semi-embrace. This seemed to sober me up and I came to crashing realization I was snogging (Terribly snogging, might I add) a boy I barely knew who's breath smelt and was munching on my lips as if they were a kebab!

It ended after what felt like a life time for me to be confronted with 10 shocked and laughing teenagers in the other room who painfully tormented me about it for the next week. He got some credit for 'getting off' with a girl and I got squeals of horror from my female friends who exclaimed "I thought you had better taste" and called me a "dirty slag". To top it off also, after the alcohol wore off it seems he could no longer look at me, or speak to me for that matter.

After a hungover goodbye and an awkward laugh or two, we never spoke again. Ever.

Our relationship thereafter was strictly passing glances and cringes if we saw each-other on the corridor. The Height of romance.

So, this considered perhaps I should have realized that romance and love isn't what I imagined, no impassioned speeches and heated kisses.

But I remained ever vigilant in my outlook and continued to strive for my prince charming.

This path led me through 3 bad relationships, 1 drunken disaster and a mighty disappointing loss of virginity.

But, here I am. Ever hopeful that my future holds something more than ice cream and romcoms. Ever optimistic..

Which, in fairness is difficult to do when my only male company is my cat, Biggles, (Oh, the cliche) and the beloved Ben and Jerry.

Unfortunately, my other female friends are happily in relationships, married, or married and expecting. In that stage of "Just Married" loveliness which comes from the bells of a wedding fresh in ears and the wedding sex still radiating the couples bodies. Ah...The bliss. Which, I was completely unaware of.

My friends often met for coffee, trying to come the London equivalent of the 'Sex in the City' girls, which often failed miserably in their quiet corner of the local 100th Starbucks which they seemed to take a certain, unknown like to. The place which they often discussed their marriages and exchanged notes while occasionally casting the sad glance to myself, pitying for a moment and then with the clutch of a hand upon my knee saying the familiar words; "You'll find Mr Right!"

It was on one such occasion that the rather daunting fact of My unemployment became focus of their discussions. Eyes upon me and judgement beginning. "You're nearly 27, you shouldn't be unemployed. Didn't you work for Barry?" Ah..Barry.

The affectionately loved work friend of her friend Mary's husband, Peter. Mary and Peter Jenkins. Can you get a name that sounds more married?!

"Yes. I was cut as my position was deemed "Frivolous" In the firm as they made cut backs." I tried not to sound so down-stricken by the fact they essentially called my job the most pointless in the building although I had worked there from an apprenticeship, but it wasn't exactly an easy thing to achieve. So, I gave up and allowed my irritation to ring out. "I worked there for nearly eight years and they practically tell me I was worthless, not even worth my next to minimum wage." I huffed, taking a relishing bite in the pasty. The butter, straight to my thighs but deliciously making its way there.

The Stepford wives (HAH!) glared at the pastry in both jealousy and disgust. "Yes...Well filling yourself with calories isn't going to make it any better." Katherine, the woman with straight hair to my left (Who hadn't worked a day in her life, might I add) snatched the buttery deliciousness from My hand. Leaving me missing the pasty already as my hand felt at a loss without it. Incomplete...

Oh the agony.

"It wouldn't have been so much of a blow hadn't it been for a cutesy blonde on the top floor, She's been there for all of a few months and she got priority over me. She's so sucking Barry's dick." With the shock that came with such a profanity I was able to grab the pastry from Katherine's devilish clutches. I took a bite before I continued. "Don't look at me that way, she has office skank written all over her, it's not as if Sheila's giving Barry any at home anyway." And with that the wives exchanged gasps and glances. They worked so hard on being 'perfect' wives. It made me feel sick.

"Poor Sheila, she's apart of the book club." Mary whined as the third of the tiresome trio, Lily, looked mortified. I meanwhile rose one eyebrow to the words. "You have a book club now?" My voice fell flat, allowing the girls to hear the mockery of their established wife-hood.

"Yes. It's on Wednesday's when the boy's go out for a drink or two." Mary smiled as if proud of her desperate housewives-esque arrangement, leaving me staring it surprise. "You should read 50 shades of Grey. It's pretty hot." They all glared, hearing the tales of the book clearly didn't go down well with them. "It's filth and we're not reading it, our book club is dedicated to classics only." She tried acting as if she was sophisticated. It was around this time I grew tired of my previously 'friends' pompous bullshit and quickly took leave, pastry in tow as I left; turning to face the women, "Read it. Tell me after Chapter 8 you don't like it and I'll hook up with Peter's cousin for a double date, as you so often beg for." Mary grinned in delight at the idea, I meanwhile rolled my eyes at such idiocy. "Don't bother lying either. I'll see by the blushes on your faces if you got up to anything." The girls looked rather mortified, giving me a queue to leave and munch on the forbidden pastry. Butter is better than any man..

Leaving me the awkward times of having to ponder upon my Apprenticeship.

A new chance begins as the "Apprentice" (Eugh, kill me) at the Tyler Offices. Bring it on?

Date: 02/01/2013

Okay..

The first hours of the Apprenticeship (Once again, Bleh.) started with perhaps the most awkward first viewings of the Tyler buildings. Firstly they were huge, flashy and had a chrome-addiction, I had never seen so much of the stuff in a building before, yet here I was; standing before it in awe and horror. The door man (Yes, it has a door man) watched me for at least 10 minutes as I stood like an idiot staring out at the building, asking me "Are you coming in, or what?" He was holding the door, his brow burrowed into his eyes and creating the illusion of hairy eyelids as he stared at me. "Oh, yes, I'm starting my Apprenticeship." I flashed him my signature grin and he just stared at me like I just gave his grandmother the finger. "You're a big old for that aren't you?" The question brought a blush to my cheeks. They guy was about 50 and he had the nerve to call ME old.

I put it behind me, lifted my head up high and walked into the building, it was even more flashy on the inside with marble everything and leather sofas. The receptionist glared at me with bored eyes as she held the phone lazily at her ear. I could tell it wasn't even on a call but she held one finger up at me and mumbled for me to wait regardless; When I was finally graced with her time she asked my name and searched for my ID card. Of course, when she read "Apprentice" she stared at me with the same look as the old door guy and repeated the unthinkable "A bit old aren't you?" But it was worse.

When another woman say's that it's just worse. It's woman code, no woman calls a fellow chick old, it's wrong. It's disrespectful; it breaks the sister code of "We're all 18 and we support the facade!" But no. She cut me down with her risen eyebrow and chapped lips and passed me the damn ID card. Big block letters "APPRENTICE" clipped on my blouse. The shame was indescribable.

It's like walking around with a dunce cap, people are instantly looking at the tag rather than the person. I became the tag; I was just a piece of plastic.

And honestly that's how the day planned out. I met with the other Apprentices who were just out of University and had an air of hope to them. The poor, sorry, unknowing bastards. They all had dreams, alive and ablaze in their eye. Ready to take on the world and get the dream job. I was practically laughing hysterically as they went on about their stories of their pre-planned lives, my scoffing over one of their stories about how they were going to be the next Angelina Jolie, that this was just a back up until they went on into acting brought attention.

The young blondes eyes molding into mine with a fiery irritation; "What's so funny?" She hissed like a little snake, daring to try and look sassy in front of her new friends. It was one of those situations you really wanted to have popcorn for, because it was always going to pan out with her being cut down to size with "Oohs" following her on her way out. "Oh, nothing. Ignore me." I took another sip from my coffee, only to have to hear the words (once again) appear from her lips; "Aren't you a bit old to be an apprentice?" Now, this was getting annoying. But, it didn't phase me - No longer was I blushing a deep red on the verge of claiming of faux youth. The other's looked horrified at me, waiting for my ultimate shame, or in their eyes; for me to beat them senseless with my cane or my walking stick whilst shouting at them and calling them whippersnappers.

My silence made her feel confident again, but not for long; "Older, yes, But aren't you a little vapid to be an actress?"

And with that simple line the girl shrunk back and walked off in a huff, saying she needed to go get coffee for one of the executives.

Tally

Jennifer: 1 Bitch: 0

But, that my dear reader was not the most wonderful moment of the day. No, for after hours of pointless coffee making and irritating filing away of stupid peices of paper which didn't seem to have use to anything; I was allowed freedom. Ah, the humble coffee break. I was allowed two in general, the first wasted upon the blonde rat and now my second. Lovely.

The pastries, the sweet sweet pastries. How they called to me.

So I made my way to the elevator to go and gather my preciouses, I'm unsure if "Preciouses" is a word, imagine 'My Precious' in plural as I honestly doubted my self strength to be able to leave the place with just one beautiful buttery slice of heaven. My diary, my english!

Anyway, rambling gone I walked to the elevator, heels pinching my feet and skirt squeezing my hips. It was anti-woman to squeeze so harshly against my hips and ass. God made them, why must every piece of clothing feel the need to punish me for going through puberty? So, in the seconds of waiting for the elevator to arrive, I began to yank on the damn thing to stop strangling my hips, trying to get some moment of comfort, which was so close until the elevator rang without my knowledge and I was interrupted by a husky voice from the center of the metal box; "Perhaps I should cut that off for you." With those worlds my eyes were drawn, hook like and hell of a sinker to perhaps the most gorgeous man I had ever seen.

The flood gates were opened.

I must have been drooling, for he looked at me with a confused expression until I became animated again and walked to his side. I felt a static from my skin being to tantalizingly close to his. Maybe I was the only one who felt it, but it felt good. "So you're an apprentice?" He looked down at the branding plastic tag with a risen eyebrow. I waited to hear it, those words which had damned me all day and made me feel as if I looked around 80. But they never came.

In their place was something more surprising. "You look far too intelligent to be in such a low position." He smirked as I openly clenched my hands into fists to resist having my wicked way with him there and then. Calling a woman hot was one thing, but to be called intelligent was like setting my hoo hoo on fire. Odd how turns on can be. "The boss missed out huh'?" I lost it for a moment looking at his face again, But I gathered it together with a smile. "I should have attached a picture to the resume."

"Quite." He mumbled. Leaving me rather confused for a moment. "Nothing dirty..." I began squeeking, having the thought that he was thinking that I was thinking of some kind of porno picture involving a riding crop. Where this thought went into my head I don't know, but it did, the unspoken smirk making me just think it was really in his mind.

It wasn't. He just rose an eyebrow down at me and I laughed. Which, he looked confused at, making me look away with a Scarlet blush. "I'm sure the boss would find you quite something." He watched me and those eyes were wonderful to have on my neglected body. It was like being watched on a stage in front of an adoring crowd. That buzz. But in her mind she wanted to do a strip tease, hit the emergency lift button and let him play sexy fireman. But, it was her first day. Professional..Professional!

"Oh I've heard quite a lot about the boss." I couldn't stop grinning. It wasn't exactly secret some of the bosses sexual activities. But no pictures? Odd how stories are written without any picture of the man in the stories. It was odd, but I heard them none the less. "I heard he was secretive." The man with no name mumbled but I couldn't stop grinning. "WELL, yes. He is, no pictures no matter how much you google. Google never fails me either. But yeah, I've heard quite a bit actually. They say he's into some dirty stuff." I felt myself grinning wildly as he man laughed beside me. "Oh?" He sounded surprised, so I relished in the lovely sound and continued my mindless gossip. "You know how it is, gossip and what not in magazines. It's a woman thing, really, men like sports, women like reading about the men. It's all innocent, well, not on this anyway. They say he likes taking control of his women. Some of his ex's came out with it, the secret boss of a giant company getting domineering. How interesting." I wouldn't say it unless asked, but it sounded pretty good to me. Unfortunately, I already knew the next question.

"What do you find of that?" The man looked at me, devilishly seductive eyes and all. Making me feel positively weak at the knee's. Yum. "Oh, well I'm all for a bit of manly domination. Who wouldn't want an Alpha on her. Going all Mr Grey on her. Ooh.." I felt myself pause, going off on a 50 shades day dream. "Isn't that the sex book?" He noted with confusion and I grinned. It was a really long elevator ride, it was then I noticed the elevator had actually stopped moving.

The man beside me was so beautiful I dared not mention it. So, I continued. "Yes it is." isn't it odd how an elevator with a strange, sexy man, can make a woman so brazen? Well, I was relishing in it as he asked more questions.

"And what were you reading that filth for?" He looked down at me with those killer eyes, genuinely confused.

It was one of those moments when it was an ovious answer which simply didn't come to mind. It made me laugh if anything, so I looked at him with a "What do you think?" Kinda look. But I got nothing and was left to voice my reasoning with a gentle blush. "Oh well, women have needs to. Sometimes, those needs involve alone time with a good steamy novel." I couldn't help but grin as the man began to understand.

He went silent before continuing. "Why would you need such a thing when there's men available?" He looked towards me, eyes ablaze with question and leaving me feeling gooey and flooded with thoughts of indecency and the tearing of his suit. "For single women, or at least me as a single woman, sometimes we need to escape from it all and just relish in a dirty fantasy where a man takes complete and utter control. Sounds pretty nifty if you ask me." Although we were stood for a long time, elevator unmoving, I felt rather at ease to be in the presence of the tingle-awakening man.

Besides, the way he was dressed; in a smart suit and such, I suspected he worked in partnership here, or a client. Someone rich with money to burn who was associated with the company. So, it didn't harm for me to get a bit flirty and suggestive with a handsome man in an unmoving elevator, did it?

Exactly. Unleash the wildside!

"So you'd allow a man to 'Take complete and utter control' of you?" He cast a look my way that simply sent shivers down my spine and made me weak at the knees. It was primal and almost stereotypical of any mills and boon men. That look that said "I'm gonna' bend you over" which, in this incident, as trashy and uncouth as it was (I felt so 18th century 'Uncouth') Maybe it was time for me to relish in being a independent single woman?

"Yes, depending on the man" I found myself twitching into a grin as the man beside me did the same. Grinning devilishly. "Oh? you'd allow him to own you. Treat you like his property. Dominate and control you?" He watched me carefully, but I played up to his little flirting game with a wide, confident grin. "Yes I would." the words surprised him. He expected a cop out, a woman who was all talk. In fact, I still was, as I didn't really think what I was saying. I just agreed with anything to have him look at me in that sexy way again. Which he did. Ooh. Flood gates were definitely open.

"What else did you hear about Mr Tyler then?" He watched me as I pondered, to be fair I had heard enough about the mysterious man of the business. So why not share? it was public knowledge. "He has an insatiable sexual appetite, a wonderful philanthropist and gives to many good causes, he's incredibly hidden considering his position and I have no idea where I heard this one but it's rumored he's got a pretty big.." I gestured below the belt with a clicking noise from my mouth, making the man beside me laugh openly. "I see."

"Mhm, but maybe it's just rumors. Rich men do like to pump up their ego." I shrugged and the man laughed again. "Ah..What is your name?" He looked down towards me, those eyes making me want to rip my blouse of and scream "TAKE ME!", "Jennifer, Jennifer Dillon." I couldn't stop myself from grinning. It was as he held his hand out she noticed the elevator began to go to the final, bottom floor of the offices. Odd..

"Ah, Ms Dillon, May I call you Jennifer?" Oh in those eyes how the hell could I refuse. "Of course." I was babbling like an idiot as I grinned, but he smiled and made me melt again. "Ah, well Jennifer, It's sure been a pleasure to meet you, enlightening also." He grinned, having a knowing look in his eyes which I couldn't understand until I asked; "Who are you anyway, Mr Mysterious?" I found myself grinning until he answered.

"Mr Mysterious fits the bill, but those closest to me know me as Owen, but as we shall be working so close together I believe in this circumstance it shall be more appropriate for you to call me Mr Tyler." He flashed a wide, white toothy grin and made me gasp. "Oh fuck." The words slipped out. Talk about being uncouth again. But he simply grinned more at me. "Quite."

He stood back at my side, making me blush intensely. "As for the rumors, I can confirm they are indeed true." Now my cheeks were burning and my eyes began dipping lower to the area in question. He seemed to notice and simply relished in the fact my eyes were now glued to his crotch. He walked to the doors of the elevator as they expectantly pinged open. He turned, looking me dead in the eyes. "Also, I'll take you up on your little offer. To take complete and utter control? Well...I'm sure I can do that." He winked at me before turning and left me like jelly on the floor.

Oh my lord. Oh my lord.

I had spoke about my bosses dick - TO my boss, made a bullshit claim about being a submissive like I was some kind-of real life Ana and then just got my offer taken up by a walking Adonis. A sex god. Oh god.

Is it fear or excitement that runs through my body in knowing that a book I had fawned over may become reality?

Perhaps it was excitement? Maybe a bit of fear too...He did say the rumors were true.

Yum. Eek. Yikes. Lovely..

So conflicted are the words that ran through my head at that moment, but all that was left to do as I went in search of those lovely pastries which brought me to that man in the elevator was wait for my own, potential 'Grey Experience'

Definitely bring that on.

First Fanfic. Go crazy x