Hey there well this is my first story of Amy and Ben. I hope you enjoy.
While I wrote this story I was listening to Goodbye My Lover.
Summary: Amy breaks up with Ben before she leaves and claims she no longer loves him. She tries to make a life with Ricky. Five years past and she decided its time to come home. What will happen? Will she see Ben again? Does she fall in love with Ricky? Read to find out )
Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own any of these characters.
Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy
"Ben I need to tell you something" I said not sure if I could ever find the words and have the courage to even speak those words out loud.
We were sitting in my kitchen table. We were alone because my mom and sister knew what was planning on doing and they supported my decision by going to see a movie. We both sat down. He moved his chair so it could face me and placed both of his hands on mine in my lap. I looked down to see our hands intertwined. I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. As soon as I knew I could break down I slowly moved my hands away. I could see it now: Hurt and Confusion taking over of his face.
"Amy what is it?" he asked as his eyes searched for mine but I had to look away.
"I don't know how to say this" I was able to say this without breaking down.
"It's ok…I'm here….tell me" He waited patiently till I began to speck again.
"Umm well I wanted to tell…that um Rick-…Ricky wants to be a part of the baby's life" while still having control of tears I continued to explain. "And um I agreed to it" I locked my hands together and looked down at my lap. Why was I doing this? I knew why because it was what's best for the baby,
"Well uhhh yeah that's great but I don't think that's necessary I told you I could be-"
Before he could even finish I knew what he was going to say and I won't let him do that. I quickly looked at him and I was angry.
"NO! Ben you can't...I….I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE!" I was surprised that I was capable of yelling at the one person who loved me for me, who would do anything to protect me. But I didn't deserve him. I closed my eyes knowing his reaction.
He took a deep breath I knew this was killing him like it was killing me.
"I understand….ok Ricky can be the father…that's fine…that's not a problem Amy I love you and that's all that matters to me" He went closer to me and his hand on my cheek.
I placed one of my hands over it and gently moved it. I didn't look at him. I couldn't.
"You don't get it do you?" I looked up to meet his eyes. He was serious. I bit my lip and shook my heard.
"Get what?" he pleaded. "Amy what are you trying to say?" he looked at me like if my answer could save him for some reason. He loved I knew that but I couldn't ruin his life.
"Ben it's…its over" I said as I slowly shook my head and dropped my head to my hands.
I could see it now. I had crushed the heart that was given to me without a doubt that I would reject it.
"No…Amy you can't mean that" he said almost as if he wanted to cry.
I still had my head in my hands. I didn't want him to see me crying. My silence might have been too much. I felt his warm touch on my palms and one of his hands shaped my chin and placed it up to look me in the eye. I looked away from me.
"I know you Amy…you don't mean it….if you did then you wouldn't be crying" he said as he wiped away a tear coming down and looked straight in the eye. "Please tell me…why you would want this to end?" he pleaded
I stood up in front of him. I needed this to sound true. As much as it hurt me to say I knew I had to. I crossed my arms and took a very serious and firm tone.
"I don't love you…anymore" I was surprised on how calmly it sounded. When I finished saying it I know it took him a while to comprehend what I was saying but when he finally understood he stood up too and placed both hands on both sides of my face.
"You don't mean that"
"Yes I do" I immediately responded pulling back.
We stood there for a couple minutes just understanding what just had happened.
He looked up at me and nodded. "I love you and all I want is to make you happy and if this what you want then it's fine" his voice cracked and on the first three letters. I nodded. He walked over to me and placed a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and a single tear came out. I wanted to stop time at this moment, to make this moment last forever. I wanted him and me more than anything else in the world but in this lifetime it was impossible. I walked him to the door. He opened it slowly and turned around possibly the last time I would see his face.
"Goodbye Amy" He softly said.
I stood there like the coward I was. I was frozen I couldn't even say goodbye. I just avoided eye contact. I waited to hear the door close and it did. I looked up as soon as I heard a CLICK. All I saw was our white door. I've never felt so incomplete. I hugged myself and started sobbing. I knew it would hurt. To say goodbye to someone you love is unbearable.
I sobbed until I reached my bedroom I closed the door behind me and slowly sat down having my back toward the door. The tears were uncontrollable. How was I supposed to bear this? I crawled to me bed still crying and laid on my side and let the tears wet my pillow. My mind was a blur but I could still see his face. Questions covered my mind but there was a question that stood out from the rest:
Will I ever see him again?
I really enjoyed writing this. So I hope you guys liked reading it. I'm really excited about this story because I actually know where I want it to go ha-ha. Please review and tell me what you thought.