The first morning -
He doesn't know why he opens his eyes in this moment and not the one before, or after … he didn't feel anything moving. It just happened, he opened them.
He doesn't move either, not yet, just blinks at the sudden intake of light in his pupils. He follows with the eyes the rays of light coming from the huge balcony, they seem to come to caress them.
Them. He stretches, first the legs, carefully, then his all body, and in a last release turns around and pulls himself up quietly on an elbow. "Us" he thinks in a flush of his cheeks, heart bumping in his chest. He inhales deeply, a blissful smile forming on his lips. He extends a hand, pocks out a finger and traces on his lover's skin the changing shadow shaped on his back by the fluid moves of the heavy curtains, pulled shut on the balcony.
"So perfect, you are so perfect" he thinks, while curling his finger around a strand of mahogany hair. His eyes follow the light again, from between the shoulder blades where he laid his hand, up the small of the back on the round buttocks, caressing the long and muscled legs. On one of them a scar is visible, circling around the thigh as a snake, the flesh there looks tenderer even … This one is old already, he remembers it. Charronea and the Sacred Band. Years ago. Yesterday.
He pushes his hand down the curved back and around the slender waist.
Hephaistion moves, he steers a little and turns his head around, his face next to Alexander's elbow, but he doesn't open his eyes. A fleck of dark gold plays on his hair, Alexander looks up and sees that the curtains have moved with the hot wind.
The room is still quite dim apart from the large rays coming from the balcony. That's the only thing they've seen yet, the heavy and richly carved wooden door, the warm colours everywhere lit by candle flickers all night, the immense bed and its many pillows, extravagantly embroidered, the long and thick curtains. Behind, they know there is a huge balcony overlooking the city. Not been out yet.
That's the only knowledge he has of his rooms, as he lays there, indulging in the peaceful breathing of his beautiful sleeping friend.
Yet another place, he thinks, as he pushes back a lock from Hephaistion's cheek, to see his beautifully shaped and slightly swollen lips, he knows they're swollen when he sleeps, they make him look even more sensual.
Yet another place! It seems like it was yesterday when he was sneaking out of this rooms to join his friend for a swim in the lake, yesterday they kissed in the water, playful, yesterday that they met for the first time naked under the furs, yesterday that he discovered this indescribable pleasure of contact with Hephaistion's silky skin, the warmth feeling him each time their eyes would meet, the spicy growling in his belly, his insatiable need of Hephaistion's body … It all came back now, and as it did he realised how fast he had run without thinking, from the easy days at Mieza through the start of their love affair through the first arguments (Hephaistion wouldn't accept any present or help or favour or anything, this hadn't changed much) through the first battle through a deeper love growing between them through the death of his father through preparing for Persia through the Hellespont through half the world through the huge blue door to this bed.
"Wow", he smiles. He looks down again, thinking of his friend and all he means to him. His eyes are swimming with love, again, and he's a bit ashamed of it. Because he needs him so.
But it's like this, he had to get used to it anyway. His weakness. His only –sweet, strong, tender, hard, admirable, capricious, so irresistible – weakness. Let no one find out! He smiles at the idea, fully conscious of the fable they are in the army, among the generals, their close friends, and at some extent among the common soldiers. No way to fight against that!
He is still rapturously eye-caressing his lover's body when he becomes aware of a presence. Hephaistion's eyes are opened. "How long is it he's looking at me?" he thinks … he flushes bright pink and takes his hand away from Hephaistion's round buttocks, where it was resting lazily.
Hephaistion hides a smile, stretches and extend a suntanned arm to his chest.
"Joy to you, my Alexander" – his long fingers are caressing the King's chest while he buries back his face in the pillows and starts laughing softly …
Alexander pushes his hand away, eyes intense.
"What is so funny" he asks, half serious half joking
"You are. I – saw – you!!"
"What do you mean you saw me … I can see you too" he tries, unconvinced and still half smiling. "Precious" he adds, with burning eyes.
Hephaistion groans and pushes himself up to place a wet kiss on Alexander's fingers that he grabbed in his.
"You were looking at me, and you were moved" he declares, looking at his friend straight in the eyes with a cocky smile.
Alexander raises an eyebrow : "Was I?"
Hephaistion smiles, sights, turns around, prepares to exit the bed. A hand grabs his forearm and pulls him back down. He crashes softly in Alexander's arms.
They roll around for a few seconds, giggling like teenagers and trying to take the advantage on the other one. Finally Alexander pins his lover under his broad chest, looking down at him, eyes growing deep.
"I was. I am. I will be" "I thank the gods everyday for having given you to me" "Each time I look at you I'm filled with an immense sense of purpose, my heart beats faster. You're my life"
For a moment everything is still. Hephaistion looks up at him in pure awe.
He licks his lips absent-mindedly, then smiles and whispers before pulling Alexander in a hungry kiss "Then we are the perfect match, my friend".
They melt in the embrace, surrendering to their emotions.
It was months since they didn't wake up late together, unbothered, playful, months of a long march through Persia, across the Euphrates and down to the dusty plains of Gaugamela, where the victory gave them this city they don't even know yet.
Babylon.
The heavy curtains are still moving, and a rumour is coming through the window. It is still early, they think, as their embrace becomes more passionate, as their breathing accelerate, as they legs tangle, they grow hot and covers are pushed aside, not a word is spoken as passion is unleashed once again amid the pearls and jewels sown to the pillows.
"Alexander", he whispers urgently, holding his lover with strong arms, searching for his lips to bring them together with his own, as if to drink his very life.
"Hephaistion", he breathes back, moving his wet mouth from his chest to his neck to meet his welcoming lips.
They make love fiercely, passionately.
Even when they are quenched from their desire they remain close, arms locked around each other.
The King blows softly some meshes away from his lover's eyes, before placing a neat kiss on his brow, and finally rolling aside.
As he is stumbling to his feet and walking to a near-by table to see if any wine is left from the previous night, Hephaistion rolls over and wraps himself in a long dark green silk from the complex (and now up-side-down) bedding.
"Don't you want to see it" he says with a hint of excitement in his voice? He is looking at the curtains moving slowly from their weight.
Alexander throws himself in a huge armchair next to the table, flexing his legs over the arm rest :
"Do you really want to join back the real world so soon?"
He watches as Hephaistion moves like a cat, the green silk strapped around his waist, towards the glowing curtains and the heat. He stops 10 to 20 centimetres shy from them. He is giving his back to Alexander, broad shoulders, slender waist, tanned skin, scars of his bravery. Perfect.
Alexander is sipping the last of the watered-wine and finds himself sighing blissfully at the sight. Today is a glorious day, they could almost forget who they are, and they are already forgetting where they are, as they hardly know anything further than these beautiful walls.
Hephaistion also thinks. That there is so much to be done, so much to attend to, so many people to receive and listen, so many things to organize.
He also knows how difficult it usually is to tear Alexander away from his activities, so engulfed and obsessive as he gets, impatient for progress … the little time they are able to spend together … the expedition soon to start marching again … maybe this is a day among a thousand ones!
He turns around to face Alexander, who didn't move and is staring at him appreciatively.
He goes down the few steps that he had climb to stand in front of the curtains that he finally didn't open : the view remains a mystery.
Suddenly he realises that today it is himself into whom Alexander is so engulfed into and so dedicated-to and so eager to share time with, and that right now he would be the one from whom it would be very difficult to tear Alexander away …
A mischievous smile forms on his lips, as he walks towards the armchair.
"You're right, let's not".
"But to order wine and fruit and food is not going to be considered as joining the real world again, right?"
Alexander stands up in front of his lover, and they embrace again, standing in the central part of the room, the sun climbing in the sky drawing poetic shapes on their skins through the little curved mucharabias.
He runs his fingers down Hephaistion's spine, takes his hands and kiss them both before placing a finger to his lips : "Shush!"
He walks out of sight to the main doors of the rooms. Hephaistion watches him go before sitting on the armchair, impatient already to have him back.
Alexander orders the wine, the fruits, something more substantial, everything to one of the young pages who came to start his day. Then he firmly dismisses him and tells the guards that he shall be in his rooms for the rest of the day, and that no one is to interfer or to disturb for any reason, without ANY exception. When the pages, still standing faithfully by the doors, ask if this restrictions also applies to Lord Hephaistion, Alexander smiles softly : "you won't see any of him today, take my word for it". He already disappears behind the doors, closing them down loudly.
The day is just starting, in a world confined to these rooms with bright orange light, candles still burning in dark corners, curtains shutting the real world outside for some hours, only letting in the soft wind and sweet perfumes of Babylon.
They eat and laugh together as they recall memories of easy days in Mieza, the cradle of all dreams as they see it, the origin. They playfully mock each other over any anecdote they can remember from here and there. They also take time to grieve and cry over lost ones in the numerous battles, but they coincide in thinking that no death could be prouder then to die for Greece. They debate on the best strategies to implement on the following battles, discuss the merits of their fellows generals, somehow Hephaistion mocks Craterus, Alexander pretends to be annoyed, but then Hephaistion raises his eyes to the gods, pulling a face : Alexander laughs and kicks him gently on the arm, before smiling at him, and they both know that nothing could ever come between that.
They talk excitedly over and over again about the next part of the amazing trip, what they dream to discover, what could the world be like if Greek culture could melt and integrate Persian rites … They recall Aristotle, his theories, his stories, his passions, and think of how he would love to see all this.
They also remain silent for long moments, just looking at each other, at the room, at nothing special, back at each other. Alexander smiles lazily, Hephaistion smiles too, softly, and averts his eyes aside, licks his lips, eat some fruit, looks back at his lover … "your eyes …" he whispers, and they both flush soft pink as if they were young lovers, feeling shy and excited, nervous and euphoric, uncertain and lusty, beaming with love.
When there's some movement outside and someone hits strong on the door, late in the afternoon they think, they laugh and hide like infants, running through the huge stone floor as discreetly as possible and rolling themselves in the curtains, giggling. A strong voice, muffled by the noble wood.
- "Cleitus" whispers Alexander.
- "Craterus" whispers Hephaistion with a wrinkle of his nose.
- "Oh you! Wait till I catch you!"
He does. Somehow, none of them seems to mind anymore, and the voices and noise outside slowly die away. Oblivious to the world, they sink into ecstasy.
Finally, when all is dark again, and at last a Persian servant was briefly allowed in the rooms to lit all the candles again, after the bath they ordered, they ly in bed again, with the very same "The Iliad" they share for so many years.
"I feel this is the best day of my life, and I thank the gods for it" whispers Alexander in Hephaistion neck – his eyes are fiercely closed by the emotion.
Hephaistion looks down at him, his warm lips, shut eyes, trembling jaw. His heart swells and explodes. This Alexander is exclusively his.
"Wait until in 2 years time, when we'll be sailing back to Pella from the outer ocean, the world in the eyes …!" answers Hephaistion, crushing his lover in a strong embrace.
Alexander opens his clear eyes and looks straight in his.
He seems to hesitate at first, he looks past Hephaistion at the curvings and figures in the wooden head of the huge bed. He doesn't know what stopped him. Maybe sometimes to say things out loud makes them more real … He feels Hephaistion squeeze lightly is forearm, and looks back into his eyes. He encourages him softly, without a word.
"You think we'll go back?" There's a shadow of a doubt in his grey iris.
Hephaistion's answer comes immediately, for once :
"I don't care - I wanna be with you everywhere"
The King's lips curl in a defying smile. "No. I wanna be with you everywhere!"
They are starring at each other for some seconds. Hephaistion props himself up on both elbows, and blows softly the blond curls away from Alexander's brow.
"That's what I thought …" he answers, and he kisses him tenderly.
Both know they might never see Pella again, even though it is never mentioned. Who cares, if they are together in the end. The moon climbs up in the sky, as the soft and harsh dance of their bodies is resumed. They make love as they are saving themselves from some obscure threat, with desperation this time, and in the very end, when all is very silent, they finally crawl out of bed and stumble past the dark curtains, onto the fresh and huge balcony.
Hair swept by the wind, hand in hand, they stare silently at this new world they chose. Together.