Summary: Ten years from the day that iCarly first aired. Tragedy had struck the Shays in the past. Sam has changed, and Freddie has changed even more. Action Sequences, Thrills, and Seddie are promised. In a world where the action adventure genre and iCarly have been fused by a delusional fanfiction writer comes: iSpy 00-Seddie
A/N: My second fanfic, still working on Ruined Puzzle Pieces. The idea for this fic came out of a need to write a more action-oriented story and another iCarly fic and as ridiculous as it kept sounding to me, my imagination went wild and a story came out of nowhere, so for the good or better, let's get started:
Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, if I did, I'd jump the shark and add too many Seddie moments
Prologue
Today wasn't a good day. My entire team had been killed in the last hour in an operation that had been called in on false Intel. I was supposed to be only tech-support, but at the moment I am the last man standing, or driving to more accurate. Driving in my personally-designed XL-5000 sports-car with about 8 cars in pursuit in the middle of Poland in a small city called Chopin. Even worse still is that Sam is calling on my cell phone, a call I know I can't ignore because I have been freaking ignoring her calls all week and via her emails, I know that one more and I have would have to deal with Kingdom Come when I got home.
"Spencer, how do I get myself into these predicaments?" Freddie groaned as his cell-phone bleeped its second ring. That left about… four more seconds that he could ignore her.
A male-synthesized voice of Freddie's personal AI assistant emerged from the XL-5000's speakers, "Amalgam requested a Search and Destroy Mission in Chopin, Poland. Six field agents were required and you were brought in for your technical prowess and expertise with the SATA-300 Computer Systems utilized in the base defenses. Complications occurred when…"
"It was a rhetorical question, Spencer." Freddie explained as he suddenly heard the start of machine gun fire behind him. His back windshield started cracking and whittling and Freddie was reminded of the fact that even the best bulletproof glass could only last so long against persistent gunners. (And gunners were ALWAYS persistent…) Another ring, and Freddie allowed himself a sigh before answering his phone.
"Hey Sam, how's it going?" Freddie cradled the cell phone as he pulled a ninety-degree turn into the local city streets. One untalented pursuer fortunately couldn't follow and slammed into the corner taking out another car behind him. Six cars left…
"FREDDIE! Where the hell have you been? The contract for the apartment has to be signed TOMORROW! We need you here." Sam voice even through horrible interference was still indistinguishable. "The interference is horrible by the way. Where are you?"
"Chopin" Freddie said reflexively before mentally kicking himself. As an intelligence operative Freddie should have been better at the whole lying thing but 3 years of training as a spy apparently was no match for a lifetime of being forced to tell Sam everything.
"Shopping? Where? At the mall? That makes sense, I can barely hear you and I remember how ridiculous reception and noise are in those stores."
"Warning, RPGs and anti-tank guns detected," Spencer droned in.
"$*$%%#!" Freddie cursed as pulled into an alleyway, narrowly dodging explosions in his wake. He armed and deployed his anti-tire spikes in the alley, noting that innocent civilians were unlikely to actually come across them in such a secluded area. Another car in pursuit was disabled, but the five remaining were pretty bright unfortunately and drove on alternate routes and from the GPS map Spencer was displaying, would easily cut Freddie off at the next exit.
"What did you say to me?!" Sam's voice brought Freddie back to another predicament at hand.
"Nothing, ummm Sam I am in kinda a rush. What do you need?" Freddie needed to think fast. He couldn't outrun them… by land, and quickly dialed into the navigator a query for the nearest river. The XL-5000 had aquatic capabilities and Freddie could get away via boat.
"Just that you need to sign the lease forms, and we haven't even begun discussing how to split the rent with Jake and Gibby. Are you driving right now?"
Right… Me, Sam, Gibby, and… Jake Krandal all are trying to get an apartment in Seattle together. The lease is due that soon? Whoa! Fire missles! Fire missles!
Freddie destroyed an obstructing construction barrier and entered the road being repaired, his pursuers in… well hot pursuit.
"Yes, and the traffic is ridiculous. So the lease is due… tomorrow?" Freddie's mind was whirling from the overload of things to concentrate on.
"Fredward, don't be one of those janks that drive while on a cellphone. I hate those people. I mean they are controlling a half-ton vehicle and they have the nerve to divert their attention elsewhere?! Pull over and finish the conversation at least."
"Definitely can't at the moment! I… won't be able to make it back to discuss the leases otherwise! River is almost here!"
"I know that winter is almost here. Hence the lease needs to be signed. Freddie, you've been so out of it lately. Don't you care?"
"Yes! Just dealing with things!" Freddie flashed his rear lights at an intensity he measured to be equal to the sun in the sky. Two blinded drivers crashed their cars into each other creating a roaring explosion.
"Freddie, I just hope you know how much it would suck to lose this lease after looking for a place for so damn long," Sam then said in a slightly softer voice, "I was kind of looking forward to this too."
"What did you say?!" Freddie's ears were still roaring from the last explosion.
"Forget it already. You've been so absent-minded lately you know?" Sam's irritation was clear in her words.
"No, it's just that my surroundings…" Freddie flinched as some machine gun fire just totaled his left side-view mirror, "are really noisy!"
"You know, it feels like you just haven't been listening to me lately. I barely can get a call through, and all my emails must look like spam to you."
"That's a misunderstanding!"
A few more miles… almost there…
"Are you even taking me seriously?"
"Yes Sam, I've always taken you seriously…"
"Take cover immediately!" Spencer's voice blared loud and clear with a warning and Freddie thrust his head as low as possible as an explosion tore off the roof of the car, the shockwave knocking the phone on the ground.
"Freddie? Benson? Hello?" Freddie swerved his car frantically and knocked two more cars off the road while grasping for his pearPhone. He finally grasped it.
"Hey Sam, I'm sorry. What were we talking about again?" Freddie could see the bridge now. Freedom was within grasp.
"Forget it Freddie. Just get your rear back here as fast as you can… Dorkface" Sam then hung up on Freddie before he could even reply.
"Situation looks dire," commented Spencer as Freddie looked up. Two of the pursuit cars were blocking the path to the bridge and Freddie knew he still had one on his tail as well. Freddie stared sadly back at his phone before commenting, "Things don't look good here either."
He slammed the accelerator and fired one more missile in between the two blocking cars slamming them apart and clearing a path. Freddie quickly drove off the bridge into the river and activated the boat transformation sequence and started pulling away at speedboat speeds with his opposition staring in frustration from the shore.
How do I get myself into these predicaments?
A/N: Yes, the name is ridiculous, please read and review. And special thanks to my sister for proofreading, even though she thought Freddie's car was so American being designated Extra Large 5000… girls.