A/N: Okay, so, this is kind of set back in season two. Pre wedding, post heart attack.
"If this weren't reality…. I'd never wake up."
-
"Kurt, you all right?" Mercedes eyes her friend, obviously worried.
Kurt just waves her off. "I'm fine," he replies. The bullies don't bother him. Nothing bothers him, so long as He will be in Kurt's dreams tonight.
Kurt is sure that He is real, that He just wants to protect and guide Kurt. High school is tough, after all, and even more so when you're the only out gay in your school, and when your dad just got out of the hospital from a heart attack.
Mercedes doesn't say anything back; she hooks her arm with Kurt's and they make their way to Glee together. Kurt went through phases like this, she knew. He'd have his good days and his bad ones, and on his good ones nothing could bring him down. Not a slushie facial, not a locker check, not a dumpster dive, not even Rachel taking a solo from him.
And the last one was really saying something.
"… And it was just like-"
"So, than he said-"
"Kurt! Mercedes! Glad that you're both here, take a seat! Mr. Shue isn't here yet," Rachel shouted.
Kurt gave her a friendly wave and sat down.
Rachel gave him an odd look, but, then again, on these kinds of Kurt days, who didn't?
In Kurt's mind, this wasn't reality. Reality only came once he closed his eyes, and was at that safe place of a school, and He was by Kurt's side.
"I think that Finn and I should—"
"You know, Rachel," Santana announced, "not everything is about you and Finn. Or what you should sing. We all have great voices, why can't we all have a solo every now and then?"
And the arguing continued until Mr. Shue got there, and he automatically gave Finn and Rachel the lead parts.
Everyone looked to Kurt. They expected him to say something. Anything. Even Mercedes, who knew of his Kurt-mood, expected something.
And they did get something. "May I leave, Mr. Shue? I'd like to get some sleep."
"Dude," Finn called, "it's not even dark yet. What's your obsession with sleeping?"
"Kurt, is there something wrong?" Mr. Shue asked.
Ignoring them all, Kurt got up, slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder, and left.
Causing uproar.
"That is not normal!"
"What's wrong with Kurt? He always has something to say about solos!"
"Is something wrong?"
"He's gay, can't we just leave it at that? That's what the problem probably is, anyhow."
"I cannot believe you just said that, Santana!"
"What? He's probably just sick of being bullied and decided to stop being such a bitch—"
"Oh, you did not just call my boy a bitch—"
"ENOUGH!" Mr. Shue roared. "Finn, is something going on at home?"
Finn blinked stupidly. "Um, no. He's usually happy, and really obsessed with sleeping."
"Sleeping?"
"Yeah, like, what he just said. He wants to go home and go sleep. He'll probably start dinner, leave a note saying he's tired, munch on something, and fall asleep." Finn frowned. "It's been like that. He's always scary if we don't let him sleep."
The room was quiet again.
Mr. Shue sighed. "Alright, well, enough of that. Let's start practice."
-
"Kurt."
Kurt turns, there He is! "Hey. I missed you."
"You were sleeping, Kurt."
"I know. I hate that our days are so short. I don't know why I sleep in so late."
A couple of boys in uniforms matching theirs ran past them. One stopped. "Kurt, Blaine, Warbler practice tonight, 4 o' clock, don't be late!"
"Or we could be late and face the mighty gavel of doom," Blaine jokes.
The four boys laugh. "We'll see you guys there!" The two continue to their classes.
Blaine reaches for Kurt's hand. "Come on," he says, "let's go to our room."
Kurt grins and allows Blaine to keep hold on his hand, keeping a pace to where he's right behind the shorter boy.
"Blaine?" Kurt asks.
Blaine hums in response.
"I—why does this always feel like a dream to me?"
"Maybe you just enjoy my company that much?" Blaine grinned.
Kurt smiled softly. "I do enjoy your company. I wish we spent more time together."
They creased their walking, and Blaine pivoted to gaze into Kurt's eyes.
"Kurt, we spend all day together. Why do you always feel so lonely?"
"I just—I don't know. Everything feels so surreal to me lately." Kurt shrugged.
Gently, Blaine squeezed the other boy's hand. "If this weren't reality, I'd never wake up. You mean everything to me, Kurt."
The expression Kurt bore implied tears, so Blaine thought ahead and pulled Kurt into a big hug. "I'll always be here for you."
Kurt sniffed, and nodded. "Can we go in our room, now?"
Blaine nodded, and said, "Only if you don't mind cuddles."
Laughing, Kurt retreated from the hug. "Cuddle whore."
"Always," Blaine chuckled. "C'mon, let's go."
-
"Hey, Finn. You're home early."
Finn nodded. "Kurt already sleeping?"
Carole nodded. "He's just always so tired. That school wears him out."
Was that it? Finn wondered. Kurt had no reason to feel safe at that school: not enough people to protect him, and too many to bully him. Kurt had to spend most of his time worried about bullies, schoolwork, and his dad.
"Yeah," Finn decided. "You know, it kind of seems like things are getting worse. And I know that Kurt doesn't want to worry Burt, but…"
Carole sighed. "I know. And he stress of him putting our wedding together, on top of all that—have you seen some of his plans? I swear that boy falls to sleep as soon as he gets home, how does he manage to do all of this?"
Glee club, study hall, lunch, in his classes.
"Did Kurt eat anything?"
"Nope," Carole responds. "But you're going to go wake him up for dinner."
"He'll kill me!"
The woman waves him off. "Burt will be home soon, and he misses seeing Kurt. Now, c'mon, hop to it!"
Finn does as she says. He walks up the stairs to Kurt's room, and slowly knocks on the door.
-
"So, do you know what's wrong?"
Kurt looks into Blaine's eyes and shakes his head. "I have no idea. I just—everything feels weird lately, you know?"
Blaine frowns. "I do know, actually," he confesses. "I feel the same way, to be honest. Like, nothing is real. But everyone has those days, right?"
Kurt shakes his head. "It's not just days, Blaine, it's weeks. It started when we met last month, when we met, and it just feels—"
"Like a dream state?" Blaine continues.
Kurt nods. "This is real though, right?"
Blaine presses his lips together, and doesn't answer. He pulls Kurt down onto his bed and snuggles up to him.
-
Finn opens the door slowly, trying not to make it creek. He walks slowly, and pokes Kurt, whose eyes shoot open.
"Kurt?" Finn asks slowly.
Kurt shakes his head. "It's not real," he mutters to himself. "Why… Why can't it be real?"
"Dude?"
Kurt shakes his head. "What do you want, Finn?"
Finn is dumfound. He couldn't figure out a girl for the life of him, but Kurt is even worse, he swears. "Um, Carole wants you to eat with us tonight. We know that you're tired and all, man, but, seriously, we miss your dinner conversations, and stuff."
Kurt nods. "Yeah, I'll be right there. I'm just… tired."
Finn nods. He's going to do something about this, he decides. It's up to him.
-
Dinner was strange. Kurt wasn't as lively as he used to be, even though he was trying his best.
And he was really trying hard.
But it didn't help. Burt saw through it, Finn saw through it, everyone saw through him. He was transparent. It wasn't real.
Nothing was real anymore.