Here's my second DBZ Fanfic! Enjoy!
P.S: I don't really know if Frieza's personality is quite on . . . if it isn't, my excuse is this is a crack-fic!
The shuttle drifted along lazily in space. Inside the shuttle Frieza and his crew were having his trademark dinner feast. They had just finished attacking a random planet at coordinates 332523D or, as it's most commonly known as, near the edge of the galaxy. The planet was rich in organic material, so they were able to eat well at the feast. The wine flowed like water (and lots of aliens got drunk 'cause of it), and lots of delicious foods were available (causing lots of Frieza's men to eat to much and explode). Frieza barely touched anything except the wine, but he only drank the wine from the bottle that wasn't touched by anybody but him (claiming that the wine would be "contaminated" and cause him to "break out"). His two most loyal and powerful soldiers, Zarbon and Dodoria, were at his left and right sides.
"Would you care to try the Steamed Arlian, Lord Frieza?" asked Zarbon. "I hear it's most crunchy."
Frieza sighed. "No thank you, Zarbon. You know, I grow weary of this. This dinner feast is always the same thing: a lot of food and wine. No, what I desire now is something different, but no less grand." Frieza said. "Prepare for me a special breakfast tomorrow; something that will thrill me more than the usual."
"What would you like for your breakfast, my Lord?" asked Zarbon.
"Oh, I don't know. Surprise me. And do try to use your brains for this one, Zarbon. Remember that I want something delectable and unique, not bland and normal."
"Yes, sir."
After dinner . . .
Zarbon had just gotten off the IFN (Intergalactic Food Network). He smiled as he imagined Frieza's reaction when he told him what he had discovered. Yes, it would be perfect!
He approached his master's quarters and knocked. He heard the muffled reply of "enter" and did as Frieza bid.
"Lord Frieza, I think I have the perfect breakfast for you," Zarbon told him. "It is a special food called 'pancakes'. I'm told it is best served with butter and syrup."
"Well, what kind of syrup?" Frieza asked impatiently. "Sergian? Liver? Or, my favorite, Ice Cold?"
"It's called 'maple syrup', Lord Frieza," Zarbon answered.
Frieza scoffed. "Maple Syrup? What a strange name for syrup! Next thing you're going to tell me is that the butter is created from the expelled material of a four-legged animal.
"Anyway, please tell me exactly how these 'pancakes' are created." Frieza said.
"They're made with a mixture called 'pancake mix', sire," replied Zarbon.
"And where do you get this 'pancake mix'?" asked Frieza.
Zarbon logged onto the IFS and searched it up. Frieza tapped his foot impatiently as he waited. A few minutes later, Zarbon said, "It's found on a planet called 'Earth', sir."
"And where do you find this 'Earth'?"
"In coordinates 2940372A, sir."
"What? That far away?"
Just then, one of Frieza's henchmen burst into the room.
"Lord Frieza, we have just heard on Vegeta and Nappa's scouters that there are Dragon Balls on a planet called Namek!" he said.
"What are these 'Dragon Balls?'" Frieza asked.
"They grant any wish when all seven are gathered together, sir!" the henchman answered.
"Any wish, eh? Very well; Zarbon, set a course for Namek! I'm going collect these Dragon Balls and wish for some pancake mix!" Frieza declared.
"Lord Frieza, if these Dragon Balls can grant any wishes, then why not just wish for something much grander, like immortal life?" Zarbon suggested.
"Are you suggesting my original wish is mediocre?" snarled Frieza.
"N-no, s-s-sir!"
"Hmph. Well, then, you are forgiven. Just set a course for Namek," Frieza said. "Oh, my father will be so envious when I can live forever to eat pancakes!" Frieza cackled.
Zarbon entered the coordinates to Namek into the computer, and the shuttle immediately blasted off in it's direction. Elseware, on earth, Goku defeats Vegeta (can you really say he defeated him? He had a bunch of help from Gohan, Krillin and Yajirobe), and Gohan, Krillin and Bulma blast off to Namek as well. So they go to Namek for two different reasons: one for immortality and pancake mix, and the other to glue Chiatzu back together, un-barbeque Yamcha, grow Tien's hand back, and tell Piccolo that he could of just picked up Gohan and dodged, instead of doing what he originally did.