I Will Lie

by KimbleLinah

The description on this isn't accurate (sorry!) it's just a short poem about my mother that I wanted to put somewhere and didn't know where to put it. It's more for me than for other people but if you read it and connect with it like it feel free to leave a comment.

Today I will lie

I will lie to you

I will lie to people I see in the street

I will lie to myself and tell myself it's okay

I will lie with my eyes

I will lie when I smile

I will lie when I speak

Because I know it's not okay

I will smile at you when you ask how I am,

I will force my eyes to look happy when you try to connect,

I will lie and tell you "yes, I'm okay"

But I'm lying to myself, I'm not okay.

Today, I will tell my son about you,

I will recall the happy stories,

I will tell him about his nanny who isn't here anymore

I do this to make it okay

But I know it's not okay

He won't know the pain behind my smile

He won't understand why my eyes are wet

He won't understand why such happy stories are so hard to say

He will never understand just why it's not okay

I will carry my grief, I will carry the burden, it will never become lighter but I will learn to carry it better. Although it will never be okay, today I will lie when I smile and say "yes, I'm okay thank you for asking"