Newt scrawled his note on the piece of paper, and stared at it for a minute before folding it and sealing it in an envelope. He tried to convince himself that it really was what he wanted.

Newt was scared out of his mind, no matter how hard he worked to hide it from his friends. They didn't need to be worried about him right now. And all Newt really wanted was to make sure that he wasn't left to slowly go insane. To become a Crank. He'd seen them and every time he closed his eyes he still could.

He didn't want that to be him. He had to try not to picture the Crank he saw as himself. It was all to easy to picture his face without a nose. His eyes with that distant, far off look. And it was that that scared Newt more than the Flare itself.

And for that reason he knew that he really wanted what the note asked for.

Newt pulled Thomas into the hall and handed him the note. "What's this?" Thomas asked, looking at it, starting to open it.

"Don't read it. Not yet."

"Alright, Newt, but what is it?" Thomas frowned at his friend.

"Just...read it, later, okay? You'll know when. It's important." Newt wanted to scream at Thomas to read it now. To do it now. But if he did that it would seem to desperate. And if he opened it now...and actually did what Newt wanted...Minho would know. Close as he was to Minho, he didn't want him to know what he was asking. He would never let him go through with it.

Thomas was his best bet for this. He was the only one who might...just might understand why Newt wanted this. Thomas might be the only one who can understand what Newt saw when he closed his eyes, and why he didn't want to live with that anymore.

Newt stared at the one person he could truly hated. The boy who he had only asked for one thing. The one thing that Newt wanted.

He just wanted this to end. For the few moments he could hold himself in reality he wondered why Thomas couldn't do this thing for him.

"Tommy...please," Newt begged. He looked at Thomas, pleading.

Thomas stared back, not moving, and Newt wanted to scream. He'd asked for one thing. One thing, and Thomas couldn't give it to him. Maybe he hadn't been his friend after all.

Finally Thomas moved, and raised the gun he was holding, and pointed it at Newt. Please Newt begged again, this time only in his head.

He watched as Thomas pulled the trigger. He felt a sharp pain in his head, and felt it jerk around, and then, Newt felt nothing.

Okay, so that definitely didn't turn out like I wanted it to...but I hope you enjoyed it anyway! review?

-Insamnity