Author's Note:
It has been a while since I've done some writing. To be honest I've been in a very dark place for quite sometimes and writing just doesn't come as fluid as it did. I want to get better I need to get better. I 've been trying hard to get back to Lost in Paradise and I found this short scene that I am not sure if it will make it to the last version. If it does it will have some different things in it not only this short part.
This is just a way to let my followers know that I am alive and well and that I am still writing yet I am not publishing.
This one part is really close to me and I would like to explain why.
I could never capture and I hope I never experience the pain of losing a son. I have, however, witnessed the pain and suffering of a mother losing her only son. I've seen the tears, the desperation. I've heard the screams, the cringes of physical pain due to all the emotional stress. I've seen it. I've heard the questions "what will happen to me now? Who will take care of me when I am old? How am I supposed to live without my son?" I've also heard the horrible words "I have no will to live anymore."
My cousin died on September 18th, 2012 of a heart attack. He was only 45 years old and he left his mother, my aunt, completely alone. She is currently living with me in my house, waiting to see if her heart will heal enough for her to move on.
It's hard for me to write this chapter because I loved my cousin and his death had shaken me to the point that I almost had to drop out of college and quit my job in order to help my aunt carry that weight. She had lost her husband a year ago to cancer and now her only son has left her.
I loved my cousin, and to honor his memory I swore I will take care of his mother. I think that's what he would've wanted.
I dedicate this to him.
In loving memory of my dear and beloved cousin Joaquin.
She opened her eyes. Was she awake? She pushed herself off the bed and felt that weird tiredness. She had never experienced this before. She felt so tired and weak. Chichi groaned and slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. She turned the lights on and stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She frowned confused. She moved closer and took notice of the wrinkles along her eyes and mouth. She raised a skeptical eyebrow and quickly saw the gray hairs on her head.
She moved to touched them but noticed the state of her hands.
Dry and wrinkled skin covered her once delicate and beautiful fingers.
She walked out and looked at the calendar. She was no longer living in the past. This was the future…. Her future.
She swallowed and stared at the numerous pictures in the living room. First her younger self with her strapping young husband. Then, her firstborn and then suddenly…
She tilted her head and took in her hand the picture of herself with a teenage Gohan beside her.
She was faking a smile and so was her son. A fourth picture lay on a small table next to the sofa. The dusty wood contrasted with the clean surface of the picture in which a young man stood besides her, with his arm lazily place across her shoulders. She tilted her head and picked the photograph up and stared at it. She scrutinized the face of that young man. His orange gi, his smile less face, determined eyes and chiseled eyes made her squint. "Gohan?" She asked out loud as if someone might hear her.
She placed the picture back on the table and made her way to her son's room, slowly yet steadily. As soon as she was closed to the door she struggled with the doorknob before pushing it open with her aching shoulders.
His room was different. Long were forgotten the text books, insect pictures and telescope. His room was a simple bed and a broken down closet with three outfits, all the same. The orange Gi that his father used to were.
Chichi blinked, the fabric of such Gi's were beaten and torn down as if the owner of those gi had been in thousands of fights. Her heart dropped and she quickly closed the door and gawked at the wood on it.
Her son was a grown man…
She swallowed hard and tried her best to control herself before heading back out to the kitchen and finally settling on the old round dining table.
She stretched her hands over the table, taking in the fact that she was no longer young but well into 50's. Her house was empty and only she was the on inside. She moved a sneaky strand of black and gray hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear before raising her tired eyes and looking outside the kitchen window.
And that's when she saw it.
A small tomb adorned the front yard of her dome shaped house. She figured who it belonged to in a matter of seconds. Her heart dropped and her breathing became ragged.
She sighed and swiftly went back to look at the table. She collected her thoughts gently and swallowed hard yet again.
Goku was gone… but she could've sworn that she called out to Baba to stop. She sighed and covered her eyes as if she was trying to wake up from the nightmare.
A knock on the door brought her back to reality. She was really awake wasn't she? Chichi sighed and pushed herself off of the chair. Damn she really felt tired. Was this how being old felt like?
She opened the door and stared at a couple of tired blue eyes. "Bulma." Chichi said, acknowledging that the woman in front of her was no other than the once beautifully breathtaking woman. "Bulma, what are you doing here?"
She asked , holding the door as if she was about to faint. Something in her chest ached, was her body reacting to the memory?
"Chichi. Hey…." The blue haired woman began. She scratched her arm and then turned to look at her son. Trunks was in the car sitting in the backseat, holding onto someone….
Chichi's eyes trailed from Bulma to Trunks and to the person the young boy was holding.
Her heart sank. She felt the air leave her body and she suddenly forgot how to talk or move….
"Is… is that- "She moved forward but her knees gave out. Luckily Bulma was right there to hold her. "Is…"
"I am so sorry, Chichi." Bulma began and squeezed the slender body to her own, as if trying to prevent the emotional outburst that was about to come in seconds.
"Bulma. No. No Bulma. No" She grabbed hold of her arm and clasped tightly as she watched Trunks levitate holding on to the body of a handsome young man.
"No!" She pushed Bulma away and moved close enough to gather Gohan's broken body in her own. "No. No. No no. no."She repeated the same word. Over and over and over again. She pushed the purple boy away and cradled Gohan in her arms. Like she had cradled him years and years before. Like her baby boy. "No. No Gohan. Honey no no." She whispered, pressed her lips to his cold skin and shook her head. "No, this is a nightmare. Bulma no. Not my baby boy."
"Chichi, I am so sorry." Bulma whispered, standing up and moving away from the broken woman. She stared at the unfolding of events and didn't even dared to think how she would react if something like this happened to her with Trunks. She placed her hand over her chest, as if she could calm her raging heart while her other hand moved slowly and steadily to squeeze Trunk's arm.
Chichi couldn't breath, her tears and gasp of air left her almost to the point of fainting. She held her son, her only son in her tired arms as much as she could. She saw his beaten face, his missing arm, his torn flesh.
The androids….
They did this?
She pressed her warm forehead to Gohan's corpse and trembled with abandoned as she tried in some way, to give him her energy, and just to have him open his eyes one last time.. "My baby boy." She whispered to him and only him. "My baby boy…." She opened her mouth but nothing but painful cries left her mouth. "Baby boy…." She touched his chest and felt nothing.
She pulled away enough to catch her breath yet she never lost contact with her son. She looked up to the sky, to Bulma and then to Trunks and then back to Gohan's corpse. She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly.
"You were right! I am done!"
Bulma tilted her head to the side. Who was she talking to? "Chichi?"
"I've had enough! Wake me up! Baba!"
BUlma's opened her eyes widely and pushed Trunks to stand behind her. "Baba? Chichi. She is not here…"
"Baba! Baba!" She held onto Gohan while she fetl Bulma's hand over her shoulder. "No! This is not real! Baba! Wake me up!"
"Chichi. No. Stop Don't do this to yourself!"
With new found strength Chichi moved her arm and pushed the older woman away from her. She glared at her furiously and pointed an accusating finger at her. "Don't touch me! Not now. This is not real and I wont stop until Baba wakes me up!"
"Baba!? Baba disappeared years ago!"
Chichi shook her head and looked up to the sky wondering and searching anxiously. "No. She is watching right now from her stupid crystal ball. Probably saying "I told you so" and laughing at me. Baba! Hear me! Wake. Me. Up!"