HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES MASLOW! I know this is a day late, but my mom made me go to sleep last night before I could post this...

Alright, well, I'm writing this James story for James' birthday, and because .me 2000 asked me to :) I hope you guys all like it! And no, this isn't like, romantic.

I don't own anything.

"Shut up, James! I don't have a crush on you!" Eleven-year-old Katie Knight shouted, for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day. "Just because you have a crush on yourself doesn't mean everyone loves you!" she exclaimed. She couldn't take anymore of James acting so self-centered and annoying all the time. And she certainly did not want to hear him try to tell her that she has a crush on him anymore.

"Katie, come on, I know you love me!" James teased. "You make it really obvious when you stare at me all day long! And when you always sit next to me when we're watching TV! And when we-"

"Oh my God, just shut up!" Katie shouted. "I swear, when Kendall gets home, I'm gonna tell him your saying all this to me, and he's gonna get mad!"

James rolled his eyes, laughing at the girl he considered his sister. "Oh, really? I don't think Kendall will get mad at me, he'll get mad at you for loving his best friend!"

Katie glared at him before running over to him and punching him in the stomach. She smirked when he doubled over in pain, groaning. "If you say anything again, I'll punch you even harder!" she warned, assuming that would shut him up. She watched him as he straightened himself back up, rubbing the spot she hit.

Groaning, he muttered, "Jeez, Katie, was that necessary?"

"Yes!"

"Fine, well, it just proves you love me more than I thought!" James laughed, teasing her even more. Katie narrowed her eyes at him, sending the obnoxious boy the meanest look she could.

"James, I don't like you!" she yelled, getting more and more frustrated with him as each second passed.

"Stop trying to deny it, Katie! Why wouldn't you have a crush on me?" he asked, smiling.

"Because I like someone else!" she shouted. Her eyes widened when she realized what she had just told him. "I mean..."

"You like someone else?" James asked, chuckling a bit at first. "Who?"

"No one," she muttered. "It's none of your business!" She turned away and started to walk out of the room, but James stopped her.

"Katie, wait! I wanna help you! Who do you have a crush on! Does he live here?" James asked eagerly. Katie rolled her eyes, glaring at him again.

"I'm not telling you!" she replied. "You'll just get in the way, just like you did with Kyle!"

James sighed, folding his arms. "Hey, Kyle was trying to get you to make out with him! I didn't like that! But as long as you don't kiss this boy, then I'm fine with you trying to date him," he smiled. Katie rolled her eyes, copying James' actions and folding her arms.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway... He doesn't like me back," she mumbled. She avoided looking at James, suddenly embarrassed. Everyone loved him, and Katie couldn't even get a boy to like her. Suddenly she felt James' hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him.

"Do you want me help?"

"No!" she shouted. "I just want you to leave me alone!"

"Katie, no, I can tell your upset now! Why don't you think this boy will like you?" James questioned, even though deep down inside, he really didn't want Katie to start dating boys.

"He just doesn't, okay? He doesn't even know who I am, but I don't care that much!" she lied.

"Well, I'm sure he'll notice you sooner or later," James assured her. "And who knows, maybe he already has a crush on you, and he just think you don't like him!" he suggested.

Katie scoffed, rolling her eyes. "No he doesn't! That's ridiculous!"

James looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? I'm sure the boys are all over you! I don't like it that much, but come on, who wouldn't like you?" he asked. "You're cool, smart, pretty-"

"Wow, James, clearly, you have a crush on me!" Katie teased, making fun of him for thinking she liked him. James glared at her.

"No I don't, 'cause you're like my little sister!" he answered. "Which is why I'm going to help you date that boy. Even if I don't want to..."

Katie laughed. "You don't have to help me, James. I don't even want your help. You're too annoying."

James shrugged. "Whatever, I still hope that boy, unless it's Kyle, notices you and falls in love with you!" he exclaimed. "And remember, if he breaks your heart, I'll beat him up!"

"Okay, sure," Katie mumbled, shaking her head at him. They were silent for a few minutes as they both just sat there. As much as James annoyed her, Katie was glad she had him to help her get boys and protect her from them at the same time. So she sighed. "Thanks, James."

James smiled, wrapping his arm around Katie. "You're welcome, Katie. I love you!" he said, smiling down at her. Katie rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Love you too," she said quietly before giving him a hug.

Okay, so I guess this wasn't too short. I hope it was good enough .me 2000! I really hope you liked it! And everyone else too :)

Review? :)