Connor Haines

9/7/16 – 10/2/16

Jay and Silent Bob are out on the street at their normal spot in front of the Quick Stop after making a sale, its noon and the sky is clear.

"Snoochie boochies, if we can keep this up, then we will be in the top 10 dealers of New Jersey."

Silent Bob smiles in agreement, then a very beautiful lady walks by the store and both of them go wide eyed.

"Oh my blegadah, I can tell you a few things I'd do with her but I might get arrested for stealing a monkey."

Jay and Silent Bob stare into the camera, then Jay approaches the lady while licking his lips.

"Hey sexy boobs you want to get it on like Cheech and Chong?"

Jay looks at the camera again. The lady slaps Jay in the face and kicks him in the crotch, he falls over on to the sidewalk and says:

"I knew you liked the cock, come by sometime we can do it on top of a homeless dude."

Jay walks back over to Silent Bob who's still up against the store and has a satisfied smile on his face.

"I'm going to tear that up the next time she comes around booong."

Silent Bob's smile fell into a disappointed frown because of how stupid Jay is. Jay realizes that their supply is starting to get low, and that they need to call their supplier to get more.

"Where's a phone man, we need some more doobie?"

Jay looks around for a payphone and finds one at the corner of their street. Jay enters the booth and puts the quarters in.

"Yo, what's his number again pudgy f**k?"

Silent Bob hands him a sheet of ripped paper with the supplier's phone number on it. Jay starts to dial the number when Silent Bob farts really loud and Jay's finger slips and hits the wrong number.

"Oh what the f**k did you eat man, it smells like an overdose of death."

Jay and Silent Bob are sucked into a worm hole, while they are screaming and knocked unconscious. When they wake up they start to look around and are amazed of what they are seeing. Hippies are at every corner smoking marijuana, and there's a store showing footage of Jimmy Carter.

"Man what is going on around here, it's like a dream except I'm not dreaming. Where are we, it's like we went back to when pot was in every toddlers food."

Jay and Silent bob start to think of what happened when they were in the phone booth when Cheech and Chong sit next to Jay and Silent Bob on a bench.

"What happened all I did was dial the f**king number and like whoosh we were in a vortex in the phone booth. I don't remember when we got here."

Cheech overhears Jay and asks:

"What are you talking about man?." and Jay starts to explain.

"Well me and poofy juice here were about to call our supplier and were seeing time going backwards. Then when we woke up, we see old cars driven by STD infested hookers and hippies everywhere like it's the 70's or something."

Cheech is awed with amazement by Jay's story and says:

"Woah that sounds crazy man, we've never been that tripped before. It is the 70's it's like 1978 or something I think, Vietnam is done we don't have to worry about the draft anymore man."

Jay and Silent bob start screaming again, and bang their heads on the ground. Cheech and Chong stare at them like they are lunatics.

"Why the f**k are we in the 70's, how are we going to get home?"

Cheech comes up with a thought from what Jay had said.

"Hey you said that you two were calling your supplier before all this happened right?"

Jay replies

"Yeah, fat bastard here handed me a sheet of paper with his number on it. I started dialing when he let out a huge dukey fart of death and my finger slipped."

Cheech laughs and starts to piece together the story, and asks what Chong thinks.

"I think you guys need to light up man, maybe you can find out if your stoned or… if your stoned man."

Jay and Silent Bob look at each other and then nod. Jay and Silent Bob follow Cheech and Chong to their house and they open up the door and the entire place smells like a mix of marijuana flavors. What Jay and Silent Bob don't know is that they only have hours to return home or else they're stuck there.

"This place is like marijuana heaven, what kinds do you have?"

Jay and Silent Bob sit down on the couch, and Chong hands them a doobie.

"Here you go man."

They can hear Cheech taking a piss and singing in Spanish. Then he flushes the toilet and it overflows.

Jay then has a terrible thought:

"Hey don't we have like 24 hours or else we're stuck here. Like in the movies, I don't want to be stuck here man. So what could have happened to us that we ended up in the 70's?"

Cheech comes into the room and sits on the couch.

"Well that's what we're going to find out aren't we."

They all light their doobies and start to get loopy, when Jay starts to remember when he and Silent Bob were in the phone booth.

"Hey man its working I'm starting to remember what I was doing."

Chong smiles and says:

"I told you man, nothing works better to remember stuff than with marijuana."

Jay takes a few more puffs and then closes his eyes. He starts to go back to when he was dialing the numbers after Silent Bob farted. Jay than remembers the number that he was supposed to dial and, knows what number he hit when his finger slipped. Jay opens his eyes and goes wide eyed and says:

"I know what number I dialed now, show me the paper with the number on it Jabba the Hut."

Silent Bob hands him the paper with the number and gives him the finger. The piece of paper has the phone number: (201)-457-7854.

"So when I was dialing the last 4 I hit 7, where is the nearest phone booth?"

Cheech says:

"It's at the corner of this street, we'll bring you there."

They all head to the corner of the street where the phone booth is and they all say their farewells.

"Well it was nice to meet you two I hope you guys are still alive when we get back."

Cheech says:

"Chong and I will always remember this day man, we will never forget it."

Silent Bob than says his farewell:

"You guys both need to get into the selling business."

Jay and Silent Bob get into the phone booth and Jay dials the number and they wave goodbye as they disappear into a vortex once again. They get back and wake up in front of the Quick Stop, and see Cheech and Chong walk by and Jay happily says:

"Boooooong."