pairing: Ciel/Elizabeth

rating: T

a/n: This is the second time that I posted a Kuroshitsuji fic and I don't know what just happened(?) I deleted the old one that I published two years ago because I forgot the plot. I really enjoyed making this although I knew this is a mistake because-I think I just made them so out of character and I would like to say sorry for that because this idea just sprouted in my head while in school and doing a research experiment (what a ridiculous time to think of something). And so, I grabbed my phone after dismissal and wrote this for two days. I hope you enjoy reading it, nonetheless!

warnings: Self-hate, self-pity, a bit of grammar mistakes because I didn't even bother to check them twice, out of character-ness, too much adjectives because I cannot stop myself from adding more. (Sorry!)

ages:

Ciel Phantomhive - 17 years old

Elizabeth Midford - 18 years old

She didn't know why it came into this.

There she was, lying onto the soft, tintless sheets of her fiance's enormous bed, blonde locks somehow gorgeously splattering like paint on a canvas, her slim body: the masterpiece. Her heart, the wildest being, cries out as though it wanted to escape it's prison: her ribcage. She feels the heat tickling her cheeks as her childhood friend hovered her as her hands gripped his white, long-sleeved undershirt, his eyes locking with hers with a signature smirk designing his face.

How did they even end up in this kind of...position?

Her memories became hazy as dusk; her teeth biting her rosy lips for she did not know what to do with what was happening. Her breathing is so shallow as if she'd been drown into the pool of her sanctuary adorned with rose petals and blushes.

Elizabeth wanted to smack him because his lips stretched yet again (she wonders how is that even possible) because he knew that she was feeling uneasy about this. Because he liked how their legs entangled themselves like ribbons while he was on top of her and his hands were on either side of her head.

Ah, how clumsy you must be, Lizzy.

He knew that he already won.

Oh she was so perfect; how he was dominant to her, how she struggles under his grasp despite the comfy the bed gives to them. She was just his. Her vintage coloured dress just hugged her small figure so perfectly that he couldn't resist anymore that he had been wanting to tease her, make those pale cheeks tint with pink, make that warm smile and laugh elicit her, make her verdant eyes interlock with his cerulean ones as though he was the most precious being that has happened and existed in her life.

"C-Ciel...!" the young lady exclaimed with her sugary tone that was laced with uneasiness, knotted brows and a confused gaze. "Wh-wha-?"

He shifts, his face closer to hers and she doesn't know how to position herself.

"Say it again," the young earl growled, voice now so deep that she surprisingly adored; neither knew if he was angry or teasing or perhaps both. Either way, he was good when it comes to keeping things under his control.

She exhales, "What-"

"I said," he replies, staring at the confusion beneath those eyes of hers, "Say it again."

Her breathing was uneven still, her orbs searching, searching, and searching for answers as if it was written on his handsome face. All of a sudden, the waves of memories clashed, remembering why she was there-in his bedchamber even.

She had been so tired. So tired that she had endeavoured everything to make him give her a second glance, to call her beautiful, to call her elegant. Seven years ever since he returned without happiness and smiles and laughter. She had fallen to the most disagreeable man in London, the most handsome one, nonetheless, indeed. One of the wealthiest, one of the geniuses at a very young age and she hated it so. She had dictated her mind and heart not to fall for someone like him because it was not even sensible at all. But he was her life, life source, a reason. She loathes that she felt this way.

She hated how his eyes, or rather, eye, was so beautiful. You'll fall in love by just looking at his eye. His lashes were so long, so pitch black that it contrasted his skin color so prettily. That blue color of his orb that has the same tint as the peaceful skies. It was the most gorgeous part of him, and her questions were never answered when he hid the other one. Just him looking at her can make her squeal inside. She hated how she would cry every night just because of him, thinking that it was idiotic to cry just because of a boy. She hated that she has been a martyr; she knew her love shan't be reciprocated because she wasn't enough. She wasn't made of sugar. She hated how he couldn't appreciate her while she was still there on his game. She hated how she drowned herself into self-pity because of him.

She hates him that she wanted to kill him. Figuratively, of course, of course.

Sometimes love felt so good. But she told herself that it was only an illusion.

So there she went, to the manor of her betrothed, and walked so fast that Sebastian did not know if he should stop her or run to his master who was currently changing his clothes (adolescence had made him determined to dress himself because he was now more conscious of his body, at the age of seven and ten, that is) early in the morning for his work and lessons to inform him that Lady Elizabeth visited without a letter sent afore. Expect the unexpected.

What Elizabeth didn't know how Ciel just loved to look at her when she wasn't looking at him. Ciel looks at her with eyes so soft whenever she walks with elegance and talks with chocolates with a voice of an angel (a good thing that she had stopped using her high-pitched voice throughout the years). He observes her as if he's curious, although he had known her for his whole life. He fancies her hair that she sometimes let loose whenever she sleeps in the mansion and decided to stay. He wanted to run his hands over it, feel it like silk. He noticed that her cheeks were so soft-looking, so kissable. Her curves had shown themselves and his pride does not allow him to blush when he sees her smiling wholeheartedly at him.

But the lady wanted to make herself clear that she was not a naive young lady and she knew how to observe. She may fall for his flowery words that struck her heart as if a cupid did, yet his actions stay in the opposite way, mocking her. Neither did she hesitate or shed a tear as she thought and planned what she was supposed to say, and without a second thought she opened the door of his room like a storm without even a single knock.

And the good thing was that Ciel was already wearing his white, long-sleeved undershirt and navy blue pants when she did, and Ciel jumped in surprise because no one in the manor does no such things even his servants.

She had shouted his name as if calling someone who had done something so terrible (he actually did in his whole life) that he himself had to stop with what he was doing and look at her immensely.

She spat her opinions and he felt it splatter onto his face like acid and he felt sick. It was as if someone had squeezed his heart out, or as if someone pulled and cut his heartstrings that he did not know how to describe it, but he knew that he was guilty, and he, too, was hurt. He knew that he was terrible and so, so corrupted.

But then she cries out that he loathes him so, so much.

He swore that his heart just dropped and his stomach turned and his knuckles became white.

She showed him their engagement ring that had been lying innocently on her finger, salty tears falling and staining her pink hued cheeks (Elizabeth cursed inwardly for showing weakness. These tears were not a show anymore and of course, he knew).

"Therefore, I'm letting you go," she sang between sobs when he didn't respond, "You will be happier that way. I do not know if I should apologize or not, considering that I was only a nuisance, a bother. I knew and I am not innocent about this."

She removes it from her light blue gloves and leaves it beside his lampshade with a silent thump and clicks of heels.

He was getting out of control and he felt his adrenaline rush. He felt his teeth grit and his body shake because he never did want to let her go even if he want to. His shoulders hunched and his eye almost clawed out of its socket.

And before she leaves his room she felt his hands on her shoulders, receiving a strong push (where on earth did he get that strength?) onto the bed and now-

There they were.

The realization struck her as fast as a millisecond.

"I loathe you!" her lovely voice elicits her lips, her knuckles hitting his chest as she cried out, "I loathe you so much!"

"Oh?" Ciel raised brow, amused and still arrogant, still breath-taking, "I wonder why?"

"Because," Elizabeth gripped his shirt yet again, trying to take out the hurt and the anger from her body. Her voice shook. "An ignorant man such as you do is blind from what a woman such as I do. And I'm weary, Ciel-Weary for seven years; weary for not receiving your love at all! I just told you so! I know that I'm being absurd, but Ciel, I'm hating myself so much now; why can't I just unlove you?"

If only he had not fallen for her, too.

He noticed how her voice faded into the wind, her tears yet again drenching his sheets but he didn't care. He did care about her crying, though. He didn't like to see her cry. If only he could spoil her everything that he had, with everything that she had wanted and wanted to do. He would give every single thing just to make her happy. He didn't want her to get close because she is too pure. He didn't want to give her love because he knew it felt like a sin and he knew he will put her in danger if he did so.

That's how merciless he was and he faced the consequences now.

She's the only one left, a voice in the back of his mind whispers.

"So, please," her voice breaks his process of thoughts, "I hope that you let me go as well. Not only for our names in the Society, but I plead you to consider our feelings-"

"And who said that I would let you go after you enter my room without even knocking? For goodness' sake, Lizzy, I was changing," he cuts her off, his breath tickling her cheeks. He finds himself as an idiot because what is he even saying? "You cannot dictate me to just let you go that easily. And I don't care what the Society thinks of me."

She shakes her head, "Don't play with your words, Ciel." Her voice was even and deep and serious, "It makes me hate myself more for believing them."

"Perhaps you have an evidence that I was?"

"Just let me go..." she trails off as she shifts her head to the right, not meeting his eyes.

He touches her chin to take her gaze back to him because her gaze was only for him and him only, "I'm talking to you."

She narrowed her eyes and tried to make the tears stop.

"If you cannot believe me with my words, then what should I do?" he questions, his tone so relaxed and he was amused of himself about it.

"What?" She swears that this was the third time that she has spoken that word.

He calmly holds a chunk of curled blonde hair that sparkled with moondust, slowly, and he comtemplates how her hair was momentous than real gold. She, too, was surprised with what he was doing, so staring at his hand was the only thing she could do.

"If," voice appealing, eyes crystal clear, there she cannot leave his stare, "I kiss you," and yes, he kissed her auricomous hair with his eye closed, and there her eyes widened and her cheeks became the colour of the apples in spring, her lithe fingers pulling his sleeves oh so so tighly, because what he was doing was so out of his character and she feels that she was about to squeal but she restrained herself.

They were like that for seconds. Or minutes. Or hours. She did not know for her brain couldn't function normally as it should be.

After moments, he released her hair from his grasp and turned to her with a chuckle, "If I kiss you like that, will you believe my words? Or-" He mentally slapped himself because his instincts told him that Sebastian just behind his door, listening- and the demon laughing teasingly like a foolish for the Earl's actions: honeying his words and making His Lady fall more for him for he knew he has the charm and he was indeed enchanting in Elizabeth's eyes. He dangerously moved his face closer towards her and continued, "A kiss is not enough?"

How dare you tease and vex my nerves? she lied to herself in her thoughts, and finds words as none for a reply. For a moment, she wondered for how long they were on his bed because it felt like forever just because of what he did.

"Darling Lizzy," he breathed when she did not reply, "After those thousand words that you told me that you loathed me and you are weary and in dread, you get speechless just because of me mentioning that I will give you a kiss on your lips just as what I did with your hair?"

Do not fall for his words. Do not fall for his words. Do not fall for his words, Lizzy. They are poisons and dangerous. Like a snake: so beautiful yet so warped.

"You... are such an arrogant blighter," she punches him again lightly on his broad chest and he saw how how red her ears were.

He lets out a brief and silent chortle for her reaction, (arrogant, still annoyingly arrogant, sadistic-) "Really, Lizzy, you are too easy to win over."

And he kisses her-for real and with love. Lips so soft, his eyes closed. Since when were her lips so kissable and tasted like chocolates and sprinkled with sweets that he might get addicted to? Although it would be later painful enough because he will regret it for doing this for he only has a few years to live.

And he had shown her something that he must not do at all in his whole life.

But this moment was too good to be true.

Her eyes widened, and she found herself dizzy, about to explode, and her toes curled and her fingers became loose on his shirt. For a short period of time she was like this, but then she realized what he was actually doing and decided to kiss him back and it felt so surreal. Words cannot describe what she felt at that time. Was this how it felt when you just had your first kiss?

And she kissed him back, her slim arms looping around his neck to make him closer, make the kiss deeper, and she also felt his hands and arms slip to her back. And she wanted to gasp for air because it was too much to handle and Ciel broke the kiss so gently, softly, as he stared at her yet again with a smirk (Don't look at me like that you-).

"So? Do you believe me now?"

She nodded silently, a whisper slipping her lips, "Yes."

And he kisses her once more.

a/n: Reviews are more than welcomed. Criticisms as well! I would like to make my writing better. I'm leaving this as incomplete because I was planning to make the "a series of one-shots" thing because creating a story with a lot of chapters is very difficult for me. Thank you for reading!