With a Name like That, You Get Raped by Men like This
He was a beautiful maiden who was eptastically gay. He had leopard print in his room and loved a guy named Ponyboy.
"Oh, let me ride you Ponyboy!"
"Get away from me you gay freak!"
"We can spend eternity together in my castle of love!"
Ponyboy tried to run away, but the man tied him up.
"Woo! Now I'm a cowboy tying up his pony!" he twirled his lasso in the air as Ponyboy cried. "Let's saddle you up!"
Ponyboy was dragged to the man in the shiny leotard's castle.
"No wait! I'm actually in love with my brother! Kidnap him instead!"
"What's his name?"
"Sodapop."
"Ohhhhh... Sodapop ....Imma drink you up then suck your pepsi through a straw!"
Ponyboy looked scared for a moment before saying "go right ahead, as long as I'm not being ridden anytime soon."
Just then, Darry came in.
"Leave my brothers alone you shiny leotard wearing fop!"
The man stared at him. "What's your name?"
Darry blinked. "Uh....Darry."
"Sigh, not kinky enough"
Just then, Two-Bit stepped in. "My name's Two-Bit. Is that kinky enough for you babe? And trust me, it has nothing to do with being Two-Bit." Two-Bit winked. Wink wink.
Dally was the next to come. "He don' want you Two-Bit....he wants this sexeh bodehh! Come here man, you can ride me anytime."
Ponyboy shivered at the word ride.
Tyhe man ran to dally, "oh you are one fine peice of heaven! What's your name?"
"Dallas. Dallas Winston."
The man walked back to two bit. "What a shame. Couldn't your name have been Popsicle? Or Lollipop?"
Cherry popped in. "NOOOOOOO! Dally I LOVE YOU!"
Everyone screamed. "A Straight Girl! Run AWAY!!!" Even Ponyboy ran away...wobbled away as he was still tied up.
"But Ponyboy you're such a nice guy!"
"AHHHHH!!!! You're straight! Don't touch me! Ew don't touch me! COOOTIESSS!"
"Cooties? Where?" it was Soda, sipping pepsi through a straw. "Hey Cherry, wanna go out some time?"
"AHHHHH! Straight Boy! RUN AWAY!" Everyone hid behind Darry, who was confused.
Ponyboy was crying. "Soda, I thought you loved me!" then he committed suicide. Edward came in. No. Not Edward Cullen. Edward Elric.
"You guys let him commit suicide and not me?!" Edward looked at Ponyboy. "Oh, a dead gay boy." he grinned. "Now he can't resist!"
Ponyboy was dragged away by Edward.
The man shrugged. "I still got Two-Bit, Dally and Darry."
"I'm not gay!" darry screamed.
"Yes you are. You just don't know it yet." said the man. "Now let's ride off into the sunset boys."
"But I'm not gay!"
"Get him boyz."
Two-Bit and Dally walked up to Darry, ropes in had.
"Sorry man."
And the four men rode off to the castle.
"HELP MEE!"
"Gag 'em."
"Umma hill 'ou hou-vit" Darry tried to yell.
"And you guys get uniforms when we get back to the castle. Leopard print uniforms!!"
"YAY!!"
"'OOOOO!!!"
The End.