Summary: This is post " Selfless" , but Anya goes back with Xander instead of leaving. He tries to help her ease her pain, but he also has to live with his friends and what they think about this.

Pairings: mostly X/A

Rating: ummmm not sure between PG- PG13

A/N : I've tired fan fiction before but it never goes well lol. so I would really like you to read and review so I can approve my writing and maybe actually keep this story going.

Disclaimer: we all know what this means right? but if ya don't here it is I don't own the characters the people that write Buffy do so don't go suing me.

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Xander helped a devastated Anya with tears streaming down her face into the warm apartment. He got her settled out the couch and held her trembling body as she cried in his arms. Brushing her hair ever so lighting while rubbing her back to stop her from crying he wondered why he ever left her in the first place seeing as it was his fault partly that she became a vengeance demon in the first place.

Anya pulled away from his warm body and looked up at him. Her mascara was running everywhere and she looked horrible. Biting her bottom lip she tried so hard to stop crying but it didn't work she was back in his arms before she knew it.

He pulled away from her and tucked a single strand of hair behind her ear and lifted her chin up.

" Hey... how about you go take a nice hot shower then maybe get some sleep?" he thought about saying a joke but she would probably just yell at him.

" I-I...don't " sobbing" know." she grabbed a tissue and blew her nose slightly.

" Please you'll feel a little better and I'll fix you something to eat...what do you want to do...and just to let ya know I can cook now I've learned how" he was trying to lighten the mood a little.

Anya took a big deep breath and quirked a little smile " All right but I'm not hungry...plus I don't trust your cooking."

She stepped away from the couch and him heading for the bathroom. The door shut and Xander smiled and got up he really didn't care what Anya said he knew she was hungry because when she's upset she is always hungry. He went to the kitchen and got out some soup and crackers. Hearing the water running he tried to hurry it up so when she came out the dinner would be all ready,

Anya stood there in the shower the hot water touching her skin. Her best friend was dead the one person her knew her the longest, but know she's gone. She thought about her life now and how she now had no friends but her mind scanned to Xander. Why was he being so kind and helping her when she killed people? She was a murder but yet he still cared. She turned off the water and stepped out wrapping a towel around herself.

Xander heard the water go off and put the soup in two bowls and put them on trays taking them into the living rooms and putting on the TV.

Anya realized that she didn't have any clothes and she didn't want to go out there in just a towel even though she wouldn't mind some sex but this was a serious depressing moment.

" Umm...Xander?" she yelled her voice was a harsh sound since she was crying for so long she lost her voice.

"Ya?" he yelled back while getting a blanket for her, not that she wasn't going to sleep in the bed but she might get cold, from the closet.

" I kinda..need..." she felt a little embarrassed saying this but oh well it's not like he hasn't seen her naked before " I need some clothes."

" Oh ummm ya sorry I knew I forgot to get something" he rushed to his closet but couldn't find any of her clothes that she had left here. So he grabbed a pair of his sweats and the smallest shirt he could find. He went over to the door and knocked on it.

Anya opened the door and took the clothes from his hands " Thank you".

He forgot how beautiful and for a minute he was in a trance but snapped out of it when she shut the door. Xander went back to preparing the food when he heard the door open and saw Anya come out . She was having a hard time keeping the pants up and the shirt too. He tried to conceal his laugh as much as possible but couldn't help but smile.

Anya saw the food and had a puzzled look on her face " I said I wasn't hungry" she tried to say it in the politest way she could.

" Ya and I know you were lying...so here you go soup, crackers and a good movie." he said doing a showcase presentation.

She walked over to the couch and sat down and put a little of her soup in Xander's bowl.

Xander smiled then went to join her on the couch where he knew he made the right decision of helping Anya no matter what his friends said. But no matter how much he loved Anya he knew he would have to face his friends tomorrow no matter what. Or did he?