The world has gone to shit. Nowhere is safe; nowhere is normal. Everthing is fucked up and weird and I cannot decide for the life of me if I would be better off with those sods in America having their brains chewed out by Walkers. At least the zombies are having a whale of a time.
Currently, I am sitting in a cafe, and there are a number of things that are so terribly wrong with the picture. For example, there is a vampire working behind the counter. A vampire. Of course, their kind are all very welcome in the world since they came out of the coffin. I, personally, was not entirely in favour of them being legal citizens. Who wants equality when you're fucking dead? And who the bloody hell gives it to the fanged-out bloodsuckers? I blame them for the the whole zombie thing in America, as politically incorrect as it sounds. No, it would not surprise me in the slightest if this "virus" stemmed from them and their ... issue.
And these fucking Elves! I see them everywhere. Technically, they're not supposed to wander from their little section they call "Middle-Earth", but they don't seem to care. They don't really do much wrong, to be honest, but their perfection gets to me. They make me feel like a neo-Nazi on Judgment Day. Thankfully, they're the only inhabitants of Middle-Earth that I do find irritating. The Hobbits, Dwarves, and Men aren't so bad, even if they do seem to think that they're living in the middle ages.
The witches and wizards tend not to bother me either, I suppose, although I have been called a "filthy muggle" on more than one occasion. A lot of them moved to some twisted little place called Narnia after they were outed. Through someone's wardrobe. I like to imagine the day it happened - just a bunch of angry wizards lining up in a spare room to climb into a dusty old wardrobe. Some fucking tollbooth they've got there. Traffic must be a nightmare.
Speaking of traffic, it took me three hours to get to work this morning. One of those crazy aliens flew in and crashed into a lamp-post. He was a creepy-looking thing, mind. The person in the car next to me said he was a "Gungan". I just thought she sneezed; she didn't seem too impressed.
And yet, with all of these people - these creatures - coming and living or visiting, no one will fix that damn problem in America. They're always on the news, too. Bloody Walkers. And there are still people living there, trying to survive on their own because no one else wants to get involved. Well, except for those idiots who keep dressing up as superheroes. Five of those fuckers died last week.
Finally, there are people like me: the "normies", as they call us. Living, breathing, average homo-sapiens without a real place in our own world anymore. A tangled mess in the limbs of a life. A pile of shit on the limbs of our own.
"Vinnie! You'll never guess what I just heard."
"What did you just hear, Mary?"
"You remember all them people with those weird abilities who came forward last month?"
"Yes, Mary. I do."
"They've got a name for them, now. Mutants. There's loads of 'em."
Oh, here we fucking go.