Title: A Treehouse and Some Buffalo Wings
Pairing: one-sided Orochimaru/Sasuke (but not the side you're thinking)
Rating: T for language and fleeting adult themes
Summary: Wherein Sasuke and Naruto hide in a treehouse during a party and act like teenage girls through discussion of Feelings and Other Shenanigans. They also eat some food. AU, possibly major OOC depending on how much of a purist you are
Genre: Slice of Life
Disclaimer: I could probably leave this out and no one would care. :P
A/N: No creepy snake rape here, folks. Also Oro-chan's age is based off his appearance and not his canon age in this fic.
Sasuke looks down at the party happening in his backyard, watching people arrive in droves. He can see his mother and brother working the crowd as his father works the grill, cooking enough hot dogs and hamburgers to feed the 50 who were invited and the countless others who weren't invited but came anyway.
He's hidden himself up in the old treehouse that his father and brother built before he can remember, and he's starving; the aroma of cooking meat wafting up from the grill is making his mouth water. But he's not going down there, where everyone is talking and laughing, because he has nothing to say to them and because the crush of bodies would make him nauseous. And he really only wants to see one of the guests anyway.
His stomach lets out a loud growl and he hears a voice behind him:
"Sounds like I got here just in time."
He revises his previous mental statement to two people.
Naruto has somehow managed to climb the rotted and rickety ladder both unseen by anyone, including Sasuke, and holding a large tray of buffalo wings, cheeseburgers, and hot dogs. The blond teen hoists his body into the treehouse and sets down the tray, which is big enough to make the already small space feel especially cramped.
"How the fuck did you get up here?" Sasuke asks flatly. "Actually, never mind. Did you bring napkins?"
"You're welcome, and yes," replies Naruto huffily, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a sizable stack of blue paper napkins. "I knew you'd be up here, sneaky bastard. Are you hiding from Sakura?"
Sasuke picks up a drumstick. "No. Stop projecting. Did your mom make these?" he asks, waving the chicken before he takes a bite.
"Yeah. And I'm not projecting." Sasuke rolls his eyes. "OK maybe a little bit," Naruto revises, grabbing a burger.
"Do you still like her?" Sasuke asks, his mouth full of spicy, juicy meat.
"Meh. Hinata's cuter. Less likely to kill me."
"You switch off between those two like every week you know."
"I know. Privilege of youth."
"That was creepily like something Guy would say."
Naruto winks and gives a thumbs-up, grinning in imitation of their gym teacher.
"Eww your tooth just sparkled and everything, gross..."
"Haha, no way!"
"Seriously, never again! Dude, you're creepy." Sasuke finishes his first piece of chicken and wipes his face with a napkin, wrapping the bone in the paper when he's done. "We're never gonna eat all this food."
"Watch me," Naruto responds, rising to the challenge. He crams the rest of his burger in his mouth and picks up another. "Ba vvf aa, cophon oo eeaki."
"What the fuck did you just try to say? Swallow first, idiot," Sasuke grumbles.
Naruto chews for a while, then swallows with visible difficulty. "I said, by the way, congratulations to Itachi."
Sasuke scowls. " You know, most families go out to dinner or something when someone gets a promotion. Not my family, we have a fucking block party." He picks up a hot dog and looks at it disdainfully before biting into it savagely.
"Whoa, sorry," Naruto shrugs, looking slightly hurt by Sasuke's vehemence. "Just thought I'd pass along some goodwill."
"...Sorry," Sasuke mumbles awkwardly. He doesn't usually apologize, and Naruto glances over to see if he's serious.
"No worries, man," Naruto supplies with a smile. "Are you ok though? I mean I know you don't like parties, but..."
Sasuke sighs. "It's nothing. I just... wish they-my parents...never mind."
"Spit it out."
"I want to see Orochimaru again."
Naruto's eyebrows raise. "Itachi's old boss? The creepy one?"
"He's not creepy. He's different," Sasuke insists.
"Whatever. Isn't he here?" Naruto asks.
"I don't know. Mom invited him. I was watching for him when you got here."
"Well I'm honored that you'd give up your stalking to spend time with me," grins Naruto cheekily.
"Shut up, idiot. Anyway, since Itachi transferred companies, I-we don't really see Orochimaru that often. We used to have him over for dinner once every month or two."
"...Man, your brother works for some strange people. Who does that?"
Sasuke shrugs.
"So why do you want to see him so bad?"
Suddenly Sasuke gets very quiet and focuses on his food. Naruto tries again.
"You want to like network or something? Get a job lined up?"
Sasuke shakes his head and mumbles something inaudible.
"Speak up, man, you sound like Hinata."
"I... I guess I... um, like him. You know." Sasuke hides his eyes behind his bangs, just shy of blushing.
Naruto leans back, head hitting the wooden wall of the treehouse. "Did you just come out to me?"
"Pretty much."
"About your crush on your brother's ex-boss."
"Yup."
"Dude, he's like 50."
"You're exaggerating. He's in his late 20's."
"Whatever, that's still illegal."
"It's just a crush. I can't control it." He can't keep his mind from wandering off to thoughts of Orochimaru, can't control the dreams he has involving the two of them doing unspeakable things.
Naruto blows his bangs out of his face. "True that, bud... Aww fuck, all the food's gone cold. Sasuke, you eat like a fucking bird. Wasteful, that's what you are."
"Hey, don't pin this on me. You're the one who said we could eat it all," Sasuke snorts, glad of the change in subject. Naruto always knows how to lighten the mood.
Naruto sticks out his tongue, then his face gets serious. "Hey. You wanna look for him? Orochimaru? Maybe he's here now."
Sasuke's heart skips a little beat. "Yeah, maybe," he says, keeping his tone slightly bored. "Out the window?"
"Yeah."
"Sure. I guess."
The boys rearrange themselves in the tight space, shoulders and elbows bumping as they peer over the edge of the window. Most of the cheeseburgers get kicked off the platter, but they don't pay attention to it.
Below, the party is in full swing. People are talking, laughing, eating, drinking. Sasuke sees neighbors, classmates, relatives, friends of the family, old teachers, current teachers, and a large number of people he doesn't recognize at all.
"I fucking hate parties," he growls under his breath.
"Hm?" says Naruto, scanning the crowd.
"Nothing. See him yet?"
"Nope. Wait... nnnnope."
"You can't miss him. He's so pale."
"Why did your mom plant so many little trees around the patio? I can't see anything."
"Birds like them. I think."
"Wait, is that him? By the orange flowers."
"The lilies?" Sasuke looks where Naruto directs, and his heart skips another beat as he catches sight of his crush. "Y-yeah, that's him." He's on the other side of the yard and facing the tree house, smiling politely at the woman talking to him. Sasuke's breath catches slightly; even from a distance, Orochimaru's beauty is tangible.
"I never realized how much he looks like a woman," Naruto states, unwittingly mirroring Sasuke's thoughts.
"Yeah well you can't have him, he's mine," Sasuke deadpans.
Naruto shakes his head and laughs. "So are you gonna go talk to him?"
Sasuke feels every bit of courage he has drain away. "Um. Well. He looks kind of busy."
"He's probably bored out of his skull, just look at him."
"Maybe some other time," Sasuke says evasively. He casts one more lingering glance at Orochimaru, then sits back down next to the napkin pile. Naruto follows suit, shoving the pile of cheeseburgers back on the plate and plopping himself down.
"Missed your chance, man," Naruto says, shaking his head and picking up a chicken wing. He bites into it with trepidation. "Hey, these aren't half bad cold. Try one."
"'Kay."
The two eat in silence for a couple of minutes, licking their fingers and listening to the indistinct babble of the crowd below them. Soon they hear barking.
"Sounds like Kiba's here," Sasuke states.
"Yep," replies Naruto, chewing on a bone absentmindedly.
"You gonna go hang out with him?"
"Nah. You need me more."
Surprised at his friend's sensitivity, Sasuke raises an eyebrow.
"What? I'm not gonna let you sit up here alone like the emo kid you are," Naruto claims.
Sasuke just smiles.